I'm sorry. It never stops being hard to lose someone you love, but I know you don't wanna hear me preaching that to you, because by now I know you almost as good as if I'd asked you everything and I wish things were different, I really do, because I miss you, Dean. I missed you the moment you left us. I want to hunt with you, but it's just too late for things to get better. They can't get better, only worse, and I can't stand the idea of you just leaving again, I can't--