Fine. [He sighs, running his fingers through his hair]
Technically, my name both is and isn't Pond... but I'm only going to ruin my origins for you. I'm Alistair Gordon Song. The son of River Song... and a madman in a blue box. We tend to meet out of order but I get lucky on occasion. I don't travel with my dad because it's too dangerous. It's dangerous to travel with mum too but she doesn't seem to realize that. [He shrugged]
By the way, I was mostly told to avoid saying 'Hullo Dad' to every version of you I saw as protection for me. I'm used to you not recognizing me but this is the part where you call me a liar. So, go on then.