Iamisaac: Fic #5 - Chrestomanci
Chrestomanci X (OC), Chrestomanci PG 1015 words
“You're Chrestomanci?” X looked impressed. “The Chrestomanci?”
Chrestomanci rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Well, a Chrestomanci, anyway,” he said.
X frowned. “What do you mean? Either you're Chrestomanci or you're not: it's not exactly something to be in doubt about. I mean, are you in charge of keeping the multi-verse in order or are you not?”
Chrestomanci nodded. “Well, yes,” he admitted.
X felt that there was something odd about this conversation: somehow it wasn't coming out quite how he had expected it to. Chrestomanci was... well, X had expected someone more imposing, someone awe-inspiring and vaguely terrifying, not this mildly spoken man who seemed to be in doubt as to whether he even was the most famous person in the multi-verse.
“It's like this, you see,” Chrestomanci said helpfully; and X jumped, because it seemed unnervingly as if Chrestomanci had been reading his mind. “Chrestomanci is an inherited title. There hasn't been just one person all this time. It gets handed down. Thus, I am Chrestomanci – at the moment – but I can't claim to be THE Chrestomanci because so many other people have been it before me – and,” he added thoughtfully, “will take over from me after my ninth death.”
X was now almost certain that the man was a fraud. “Your ninth death?”
“That's right,” Chrestomanci said. “It's part of the thing, you see.”
“The thing.” It wasn't a question but a statement. X had been so thrilled to meet this man, this famous, incredible man, and now he had met him (or at any rate possibly had, for X was still not entirely convinced that this was the real man), he was wondering how he could disentangle himself from the conversation and escape. Chrestomanci's claims that the unique Chrestomanci wasn't a single person but a whole... well, family (or something) of people; his bizarre comments about ninth deaths... This was really not the day X had been anticipating for so long.
“The thing,” nodded Chrestomanci. “If you like, the 'marker' for each Chrestomanci: the person who takes over is a person who – instead of living in various guises in the multi-verse – only lives in one universe, and has nine lives to himself – or herself, probably, although I've never heard of a female Chrestomanci. So when I die for the ninth and final time, the new Chrestomanci will take over.”
“Oh,” said X blankly.
“And that's why I'm here. You know, you are going to have to get rid of that suspicious attitude before you become Chrestomanci. A little suspicion is always a good thing, but you can't go around thinking that whenever anyone says something the least bit strange it means that they are either mad or up to no good. You never know: they might actually be telling you the truth.”
“Before I...”
Chrestomanci shrugged. “It's got to be you. There aren't all that many people with nine lives wandering around, you know. It's pretty unusual.”
“But I don't have nine lives,” X objected.
Chrestomanci sighed. “Oh, you're one of those types, are you? In denial about who you really are?”
“No I'm not!”
“I've met it before – not with a future Chrestomanci, of course: you're the only one of those – but with people who deny that they're a witch, or who insist that they've got special magical powers when really all they can manage is a bit of low class conjuring. It gets very dull, you know, listening to people bluster about their talents, or lack of them.”
“I haven't got nine lives,” said X crossly. “Get it? I. Have. Not. Got. Nine. Lives.”
“Not any more, I admit,” said Chrestomanci. “You have been nearly as careless as I was, you know – you really should stop all that 'falling out of windows' business. Losing one life that way was bad enough; but to do it again and lose another one.” He shook his head. “Careless. Undeniably careless.”
“How do you...”
“My dear boy, you surely don't think that the next Chrestomanci is left completely on his own, with no interest taken in him? We've been watching you for years. Now, I don't blame you for the drowning incident – you could hardly help it if your father dropped you over the side of a boat when you were less than a year old. But the windows... no. And the trick with the fire? Please don't try that one again: it caused a lot of havoc trying to explain why you hadn't burnt to death. We very nearly had to take you out of this world altogether, for protection.”
X's mouth was open in shock. He had a strange feeling that his brain had seized up, not to mention all of his muscles.
“You know about...”
“I know about most things,” Chrestomanci said apologetically. “It's part of the job, you see.”
“And you really mean that I'm... that you...” X stopped and pulled himself together. “I'm really supposed to be Chrestomanci some day?”
“Yes.” Chrestomanci smiled. “You'll have to forgive me hoping that you aren't needed for a long while, your taking over being reliant on my no longer being alive; but with the way things are going – I'm afraid I'm down to just the two lives now – it seems as if it's a good idea for me to start your training now.”
“Training?”
“Well, we would hardly expect you to take over running the multi-verse with no experience at all,” said Chrestomanci reasonably. “It seems only sensible that you should know a bit about the job in advance, and that means training. So, I will be back to fetch you in a month's time, and please – please, dear boy – try not to lose any more lives between now and then? It's so uncomfortable having to count how many you have left. Well, goodbye for now. Be ready for us. I'll be back on the 28th March. And good luck!”
“Thanks,” X said mechanically; but Chrestomanci – the present Chrestomanci, as X would now have to consider him – had vanished.