Title:Crimson Fandom:Stargate:Atlantis Pairing:McKay/Sheppard Author:darkmoore Rating:PG-13 Beta:ca_pierson Warnings:AU, angst, swearing Prompt: Blood Summary: John's been hurt and Rodney doesn't take it too well...
Rodney dropped to the floor in front of the toilet yet again, dry heaves wrecking his body. His stomach was long since empty but he couldn't seem to stop the nausea and the gagging. Nothing he had done was helping, not the way too hot shower, the frantic scrubbing, the tons of body-wash and shampoo he had used. He couldn't get the smell of John's drying blood out of his nose, the heavy scent metallic and strangely, sickeningly sweet. The feel of John's life draining away under his fingers, hot and slick and sticky to the touch. The way it had soaked Rodney's uniform, had made his clothes stick to his skin, too warm, too wet, too damn much of it. Possibly too much of it for John to survive.
Rodney's stomach turned again, and he struggled to breathe through the nausea. How had everything gone to hell so fast? One moment the villagers had invited them to share a meal and in the next some long forgotten ancient gadget had reacted to John's strong ATA gene and the village leader had attempted to gut John with a wicked looking knife.
Taken by surprise, the man had managed to at least do some serious damage to John before Rodney shot him, close range, Ronon and Teyla busy with taking out the rest of the people in the room who had advanced on them.
Rodney felt guilty for not moving faster, for not being more suspicious, for not realizing that John was in danger. John had protected him every single time, had made sure his team made it home time and time again and then, when John needed Rodney to be there for him, Rodney had failed him. At least that was what it felt like. Rationally Rodney knew he couldn't possibly have known what would happen, in fact he should be grateful they hadn't discovered his ATA gene as well, but emotionally, Rodney just felt like a failure.
He got up again, leaning heavily on the toilet, then rinsed his mouth and brought his clothes in order, when his radio clicked. Rodney's heart began to beat faster, he knew Elizabeth had given order to not disturb any of the team for anything else than giving them news about John. Rodney had wanted to stay in the infirmary and wait for John when he would come out of the OR, but Carson and Dr. Biro had insisted he go away. He couldn't do anything anyway and he needed to take a shower, get rid of the drying blood that was clinging to his clothes, his hair, his skin.
"Rodney, this is Carson, please come to the infirmary," came the voice of his friend over the radio.
"I'll be right there," Rodney replied and forced himself to not ask about John over the radio, to not ask if he was still alive. He took a deep breath and left his quarters making his way to the infirmary.
oooooOooooo
When he entered the infirmary, Carson was already waiting for him. The doctor looked tired and drained, but not as devastated as Rodney would expect him to look if John hadn't made it. "Breathe, Rodney, he'll be okay," Carson said before Rodney could even ask.
Rodney exhaled slowly, feeling slightly dizzy with relief. The next moment he felt Carson's hand gently on his elbow, leading him to a chair. "Easy there, lad, you look like you're about to faint. Come on , Rodney, sit down for a minute. John's not going anywhere," he smiled at Rodney and for once Rodney didn't have the energy for a scathing remark. He was just so relieved that John was going to be fine.
Carson watched him carefully and Rodney could tell he had to keep himself form checking Rodney over again as well. Finally, after what felt like hours, Carson offered him a hand to help him up. "You can go and see John now. He's been awake for a few minutes and the first thing he did was ask for you. The surgery went well and I don't think there will be any complications. He's been very lucky, Rodney. The wound wasn't as bad as we all expected and you did well with applying pressure like you did. You might have saved his life. Come on, now." He led Rodney to the part of the infirmary that served as ICU and Rodney was surprised and relieved to see that John wasn't even intubated any more.
"He's sedated, but not too deep. He's just sleeping right now. You can sit with him for a while, but after that you have to promise me to go and get some sleep yourself. I'll have the nurse throw you out in thirty minutes, you hear me? Ronon and Teyla won't be coming before tomorrow morning, either. I informed them and Elizabeth of John's status and told them to save the visits for tomorrow. But since he asked for you..." Carson trailed off, but Rodney knew he most probably had picked up on the romantic relationship Rodney and John had been tentatively beginning to explore. Nothing much yet. A few stolen touches, glances, a first kiss.
Both of them had been hurt too often and were scared to mess things up, afraid to lose the friendship they shared or mess up the team that meant so much to them. But in the end, Rodney realized, it didn't matter. Because whether or not they would be doing this, the feelings he had for John wouldn't change. Sometime during the last few hours he had admitted to himself that he was in fact head over heels in love with John Sheppard. And he'd just have to take a leap of faith and trust that all would work out for the best with John. It had worked out for General O'Neill and Dr. Jackson, as well as for Major Lorne and Dr. Parrish. There had to be something about team leaders and their scientists, Rodney mused.
He sat down beside John's bed and began to lightly stroke his arm, carefully avoiding the IV. Finally, he whispered, "You scared me half to death you know..."