The silence didn't last too long before Ryan was speaking up again. "You may not live in a world that is black and white, but I do." He frowned. "There is good and bad, right and wrong. I cannot just throw everything away that I believe in just be cause I enjoyed the kiss." He had tried to rationalize the kiss by saying to himself that it had been so long since he had been with anyone, but even his brain knew that was wrong. But to admit it meant that he was gay.