Mac (_queen_bee_) wrote in 4bidden, @ 2014-11-07 20:31:00 |
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Current mood: | melancholy |
WHO: Mac and Jack
WHEN: Week 8, Sunday night - late
WHERE: Jack's house
WHAT: Mac plays the piano, Jack overhears, talking ensues? Maybe?
RATING: TBD - But remember that Mac likes to cuss
STATUS: Closed/In-Progress
Mac was getting comfortable in her new "home." She had come to that realization when she met up with Castor the week before, and couldn't help but note the differences between how Castor and Lilah were with her, versus how Jack was with her. And it wasn't just the physical things, it was how they spoke to her, calling her 'Mac' instead of 'Nicole' the way Jack preferred it. It was nice to be treated as an equal, so that hadn't been a bad thing. Just overall, the fact Mac noticed a difference meant that there was a difference in the first place. Now Mac hadn't been delusional on what it meant to be owned by someone, but this realization of a change meant that she had, in fact, grown accustomed to it. Meaning: Mac was becoming trained, domesticated even. Now it was this thought that disturbed her.
As a leader, she was constantly moving around to check on her various incomes and assets, commanding attention and respect wherever she went. She never answered to anyone. But that was her old life. Some part of Mac honestly thought she could return to that life, but meeting up with companions had her realizing that she once again, lost something that was everything to her and she was now having to find something new to do with her life. After losing Carmen, the next path for Mac was easy and straight forward = revenge. After the revenge, it was only natural that Mac would step forward and take control over the gang. It was all a progression of sorts, one she didn't see having an end to. But now, where was she to go?
Mac had brought herself so far up, so high and mighty, that it would be an insult to allow herself to become obedient to someone else. And yet, here she was, basically obedient and even somewhat loyal to Jack. She had wanted nothing more than to rip off the face of Jack's sire every time the man threatened Jack. What kind of reaction was that? She wasn't protective over anyone, ever. Mac had even stopped caring about whether or not Jack read her journal, her private thoughts and secret lyrics. The book she confided in nearly every night, holding her feelings on topics such as running into the other alpha wolf and how inferior he made her feel, as well as how pissed off she was about having the unwanted vampire company in the house, to even Mac's 'what if' ideas. What if she hadn't sought revenge? What if Carmen could see her now? Would Carmen be proud of her? What if Mac had stopped after the revenge? What if she never trusted Castor? And even, what if she never found another mate? Thoughts that had been filling her mind lately to a point that Mac woke up nearly screaming that night, her and slapping over her lips to hold back the sound of utter disgust.
Disgust with herself, disgust with her current state of being, disgust with other alphas that were like that one wolf, disgust with everything her life had become after Carmen's murder. She couldn't take it anymore. The self loathing was starting to piss her off, and deep down she was afraid it would turn her omega. If Mac lost her alpha status, she'd really have no path ahead of her. She slinked down the stairs to where the piano was, carefully unlocking and opening it, though knowing full well that if Jack was in the house, he'd hear her playing it anyways. But it was the act of being so careful with something beautiful that gave Mac reason to be that way regardless of other outcomes.
She sat down on the bench and stared at the ivories for a second, contemplating and organizing the thoughts and music in her head. Something came to her and she started playing, a sweet but vulnerable melody. Eventually, she began to hum with it as words surfaced in her mind.
"Yeah, it's perfectly reckless. Damn, you leave me defenseless. So break in... And take everything I have till there is nothing left. Until it's just your voice in my head..." she sang softly, lost in the moment.