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Tweak says, "donald trump has tiny hands"

hollygolightlys (hollygolightlys) wrote in 20somethings,
@ 2022-08-15 18:38:00

Entry tags:

c: alexander ollerton, c: holly shingleton, d: 2028 08, ~ complete, Ω: owls/texts

Text: Anxiety and Comfort
Who: Holly & Alexander
What: Holly is having a moment of panic and reaches out to her beau
When: 08/15/28; afternoon
Warnings: Anxiety, mentions of adoption and child abandonment
Completion Status: Complete

Text to Xan ❤️: I'm so sorry to bother you at work, love.
Text to Xan ❤️: but I'm having a... moment.
Text to Xan ❤️: ok, I'm panicking. just a little bit. I promise.
Text to Xan ❤️: are we sure about this?
Text to Xan ❤️: the big day's coming so quick and I just... are we sure?
Text to Xan ❤️: are you sure?
Text to Xan ❤️: like, you won't be on any of her papers or anything yet, and if you wanted to ghost I would never blame you (it's A LOT), but like, this is going to change our lives if you want to do it with me...

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everollerton
2022-08-15 11:45 pm UTC (link)

Text to Holly: You're not bothering me, Holls. We stopped for a break.
Text to Holly: I was sure about it when you told me and I'm sure about it now. We can do it. I've already mentioned it to Head Curse-breaker Davy and she's going to work with me on a training schedule so we can have the coverage when you're traveling for the company.
Text to Holly: I'm not going to ghost you.

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	hollygolightlys 2022-08-15 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	I wouldn't leave you to deal with everything when I'm gone! I promise! Merlin, the 20th is just so close! We haven't even gotten the nursery finished. I still haven't decided between the sage green and the pale gray... What if she hates what color we choose? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	everollerton 2022-08-15 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	I know you wouldn't, but I have to make sure I can do my part. It's not fair if you have to come home and take care of a million things. It is. We can finish it before the 20th. I know what needs to be finished and you'll let me know if I miss anything. Those colors are neutrals for a reason, if she doesn't like it then they're the easiest colors to change. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hollygolightlys
2022-08-16 12:02 am UTC (link)

I just... it's a lot. To put on you.

I know you agreed and all but, like, we never even discussed if either of us every wanted kids!

~~We probably should have talked about that before we got this serious or moved in together, huh?~~

I mean, especially not when I'm still just 22. But I've been reading those books you bought me! And they help. Do you know at 5 months she'll already be rolling over?! Like, from her back to her tummy? (They call it 'tummy' in the book... >.>) BUT if she can already do that, what if she... remembers? What if she knows what's happening ~~like I did~~?

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everollerton
2022-08-16 12:46 am UTC (link)

I can watch her while she sleeps, it might be hard not to if I'm honest. You know, keep her from rolling on to her tummy. We didn't discuss it, but I'd been thinking about it. If I never took the step back, I'm not sure I would have thought of it. Cursebreaking isn't exactly a safe profession. I'm happy where I am now.

Memories don't start to form until they're two years of age. Hopefully by then we will have given her an incredible home. I'll leave the explaining to you, it's probably for the best that way.

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hollygolightlys
2022-08-16 12:52 am UTC (link)

John says he can help me with that part, too. The explaining.

You don't regret stepping back? No more swashbuckling and such?

I hadn't even thought about wanting kids when we met, if I'm honest. Hell, even now I think I'm too young. I promise that won't fall on you, though, the me-being-too-young-to-do-this thing... I do have a nearly infinite amount of wealth to make it all a lot easier, of course.

BUT I also really don't want her to be raised by nannies or anything... As much as my parents worked they always made time for family, even if I was older and less likely to like, fall off a sofa and whatever.

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everollerton
2022-08-16 01:28 am UTC (link)

It's funny I was talking with Chet. Now that I'm typing his name I'm not sure I've mentioned him. Every time I turn around he's back in the sands of Egypt. It reminded me of when I was just a grunt. Every assignment and anywhere, I'd take it.

He asked me how I balanced it. The job and life. I couldn't quite put it in words, not in a way that sounded like someone who's already paid their dues. But it's easy, I love what I do, but I love you more. You make it easy to choose you.

All that said, she'll be raised by us. It's what parents do. Take care of their children.

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hollygolightlys
2022-08-16 01:45 am UTC (link)

Ok, now I'm all teary in my office, instead of all panicky. You're too good to me. To ~us. Me and Bee.

Oh gosh, I think that's the first time that I've thought of her like that.

Then again, you just called us parents for the first time so... yeah. Wow. Now I'm all hot for you, and teary-eyed, and less panicked. It's a lot lol

I'll see you at home in a couple hours, I should be out of here same time as you for once. We can start painting things sage green <3

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