I loved the detail of Keith's accent, and the line about Firo being a "sneaky little fuck".
But more than that, I love the whole feeling of longing that lasted throughout the whole piece. Like, even though it wasn't written that way, I pictured them holding their hands behind their backs so they wouldn't be tempted to touch each other. And then I pictured them making out in a dark corner, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. :P