InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I have misplaced my mind"

Ye Gods! Mods (yegods_mods) wrote in yegods,
@ 2012-04-04 16:20:00

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!news

news post, issue #6

WEDNESDAY, April 4^th, 2012

IN THE NEWS Memorial for Slain Man | Mysterious Fire in Brooklyn | Lady Luck Living in Queens

MEMORIAL FOR MYSTERIOUSLY SLAIN MAIN

BROOKLYN -- Milo Canonici, age 44, was found dead in Brooklyn, NY, on March 16th, 2012. Police presently believe the cause of death was due to an animal attack, but are still investigating. Anyone with information pertaining to his death is encouraged to call the anonymous tip line at 1-800-555-9191. A memorial service was held on March 23rd.

He was born in Texas to Teresa Salvo Canonici and lived in California before moving to New York. Milo was a talented architect with a "MacGyver"-like ability to build things. He was known as an activist and a devoted father.

He is survived by his daughter, Anya Canonici, and his mother, Teresa Canonici.

Donations may be sent to the Paracelsus Foundation.

STRANGE FIRE IN BROOKLYN PUZZLES EXPERTS

BROOKLYN -- What witnesses called severe shaking like an earthquake coincided with a sudden inferno that enveloped an apartment building on Monday. Authorities report one died of excessive burns, but many were treated for other injuries.

It all started when the building shook around 9 P.M. to what some residents commented felt like an earthquake. Others in the area claimed to feel it as well. Shortly after the shaking began, a fire started on the third floor and spread outward. Richter data didn't seem to pick up the shaking, which some said felt like a 4.0.

The fire seemed to originate in the apartment of the sole casualty, Tomas Martinez, but the cause of the fire remains unknown.

"The investigation remains ongoing," the fire chief Angelique Rosenberg told this paper. "The whole incident may be just one of those mysteries."

Martinez worked as a bank teller at Bank of America, but was known for his active social life. He is survived by his brother, Leon, mother Zuleima, and father Ricardo.

LADY LUCK LIVES IN QUEENS

QUEENS -- A local woman has recently gathered quite a bit of attention after winning increasingly large sums of money in the New York State lottery over the past few weeks. While not a winner of the recent record breaking MegaMillions jackpot, Mrs. Loretta Henderson, 76, of Queens is doing quite well for herself.

“I’ve played my numbers every week since 1992,” says Henderson. “Never won much, but recently the numbers have just been coming to me.” Although she can’t explain her strand of good luck, Henderson isn’t complaining. “Save some, spend some. My plan is to be grateful and wait and see what next week will bring. It’s out of my hands.”

While the New York State Lottery Board has taken an interest in Henderson’s recent winnings, they have not yet launched an investigation.