Ficlet: A Heart as big as the World Author: Phaeton Title: A Heart as big as the World Fandom: Yami no Matsuei Pairing: Tsuzuki/Touda Rating: PG, just a small bit of m/m slash Wordcount: 400 A/N: spell-checked but not beta-read Summary: Tsuzuki wants to know what would make Touda happy.
"My Touda…", Tsuzuki whispers, fingers carding gently through Touda's sweaty hair.
"This is not enough for you, isn't it?"
His voice is filled with sadness. When Touda doesn't answer he tries again.
"What can I do to make you happy? Tell me, please!"
Touda keeps his eyes closed; thankful that he's feeling too relaxed to even show an unconscious reaction. His master is unusually perceptive sometimes, and it would be inconvenient if Tsuzuki discovered that he was right with his assumption.
Because there is indeed something Touda longs for, something that would make him truly happy despite all the fear and hatred, despite all the restrictions placed on him. Something so precious it could never be his alone: Tsuzuki's heart.
Touda has no doubts about Tsuzuki's love for him. This love is true and strong, deep and passionate, and Touda loves him back with all his heart and soul.
But the serpent also knows that he doesn't have his master's love all for himself. He has to share Tsuzuki with the rest of the Divine Commanders and with Tsuzuki's shinigami colleagues. Tsuzuki's heart is as big as the world and loving them all is like breathing to him. Easy and necessary to live.
As much as Touda desires to have his master exclusively to himself, this is nothing he would ever ask of him. No matter how strongly Tsuzuki insisted on telling him his wish, and not even when ordered to do so.
Touda knows that his master would be crushed by such a request. Tsuzuki's need to make others happy would drive him into making an attempt, hurting himself in the process. Because it's impossible for him to simply stop loving someone.
Making Tsuzuki sad is bad enough, but letting him get hurt is worse. And that's why Touda cannot help but lie to the one person he never wanted to deceive. Tilting his head up at his master, the serpent pretends to be surprised.
"What are you talking about, idiot? I'm perfectly all right."
Tsuzuki chuckles softly and kisses Touda's brow.
"If you say so."
Tsuzuki doesn't really sound convinced, but he stops talking and pulls Touda a little bit closer. The serpent nestles his head back to Tsuzuki's shoulder and decides that this has to be enough for him. Lying limp and sated in his master's arms is as close to happiness as Touda will ever get.