Welcome to Night Vale: In Character

Someone tell me what's going on here and how I can get home. I can't be here.

Oh, this place again.

That's fine, because I got to go home for...Winter...mas? Wintermas? Is that what it's called? Solsticetime? Never mind.

What's important is that I had a lovely winter-based celebration and my Cthulhu dad is very proud of me. Best Wintermas ever.

Fuck this fucking shit.

Who wants to party?

So, far as I can tell from what they're telling me is that I've got some friends already here, this strange kind of dislocation is happening for a lot of people, and this town is about as far from the coast as you can get. That about cover it? Because other than that, I'm in the dark. This is a handy little device though.

They said there's a lot of strange folk here too, so I'm Fjord, for anyone who doesn't know me. If you see a group of people calling themselves the Mighty Nein, point me that direction please, I'd appreciate it.

What the fuck is this and who do I have to punch in the face? Because let me tell you, I really want to punch someone right now and it's not gonna go well for whoever I'm punching, so someone should send me home right now, get me?