It's that NaNo time of year again and I woiuld really love some critism on my work.

I'm posting as I go on my main journal, but here's the first 1,500 words or so to give you a taster. It's going to urban fantasy, probably touching on some quite dark themes, but I'm not quite sure where it's going yet.




The moon rose clear and half full over the Cathedral's spire as a solitary figure made it down the road; a clock somewhere else striking the lateness of the hour. Their feet made little noise over the cobbles as they walked, eyes misted over as they wandered through rows of old building and down small streets, paying no mind to their surroundings. They were short, a slightly built woman, dressed in greys and blacks. She seemed pale under her skin, her flesh drawn over fine features, Asian in descent; but the moonlight leached the light out of everything it touched.

She stopped in the middle of the street, eyes snapping back to the here and now as she inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring slightly as she did, her form relaxing as another figure came out of a nearby by alley, dressed raggedly and hissing at her. Their eyes met for a few brief moments, before the newcomer stepped aside, the small woman walking forward again. She nodded at him slightly as she passed, eyes closing as he swung at her, body moving almost as his did, his fists missing her as she ducked under it, a brief glint of steel and then he wasn't there, a small cloud of ash drifting through the air before settling on the ground, the woman observing it with cold eyes before inclining her head again and walking again.

* * *

It was around noon when the door chimed open at Angelina's Occult Emporium; a woman dressed in a smart business suit entering, nose wrinkling a little as it was assaulted by incense.

“Hello and welcome to Angi- Oh, moshi moshi Kameo,” the young girl called out from behind the counter, waving a little. “What can we do you for today? Ancient artefacts of mystical power? Skull of a goblin?”

“I was wondering if your boss had any of that tea left that she gave me last time Laura.” Kameo replied crisply as she walked over to the counter, bag slipping a little on her shoulder as high heels clacked against the wooden floor.

Laura grinned back at her. “I think she was blending some more this morning actually, but the caddy's in the back room and she's doing a consultation for another customer back there. Sure you don't want the goblin skull? We've got three dozen of the things...”

“Ever the sales woman, aren't you?” Kameo's lips curled into a tight smile, her dark eyes allowing a small spark of genuine amusement. “What, pray tell, would I do with a goblin skull? Especially as goblins don't exist.”

“Conversation piece...?” Laura offered as the bead curtain separating the main shop from the back room rustled loudly, a woman in her mid thirties emerging, long mousey brown hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, jingling a little as she walked from the many bangles around her wrists and trinkets tied to the belt around her waist, voluminous skirts and sleeves swaying as she walked, talking to the young man who followed her out. “I would suggest speaking to my employee here; but despite her brilliance in the field, she's not exactly the most reliable person to consult, I have a card here somewhere... Ahh, Kameo, a little earlier then I expected... Some more tea wasn't it? You didn't sleep well at all last night, did you?”

Kameo nodded a little in agreement, she'd only decided on the way into town that she would pop by; and she was skilled enough with make-up not to let the shadows under her eyes show from last night's restless sleep. As always, Angelina just knew. She was broken from her thoughts as the man was sent on his way, business card in hand and she was ushered into the back as instructions were relayed to Laura. “Keep trying to shift those goblin skulls, but no more than three to one customer. That is important.”

“Yes Boss,” Laura replied, saluting quickly and then the bead curtain was dropped and the noise and smells of the shop front seemed ever so abruptly cut off, all its bright colours muted back here, boxes of stock on shelves against the back wall, a battered sofa taking up the middle of the room with other comfy chairs dotted around a coffee table. And off to one side, a counter with a kettle on it, mugs, spoons, sugar, honey and a large stack of unlabelled tea caddies. Kameo sank down on the sofa, slipping her feet out of her very expensive shoes and scrunching her toes whilst Angie busied herself with tea. “The same dreams or different ones this time?”

“T-The same,” Kameo said slowly, not wanting to think about the dreams. “Do you still have the stuff?”

“Oh yes, made up some more this morning, just in case,” she said with a wicked grin, looking back over her shoulder at Kameo before it softened to concern. “Dreams are the subconscious' way of dealing with issues. This means you have one big issue that you're not dealing with. Getting rid of them won't help. I've got a different blend which'll just mean you won't remember them...”

“I am no good to anyone if I can't sleep. Remembering it or not, that d-” She paused for a moment to take a breath, regain her control. “I cannot sleep because of it. Too much is going on that I need to be at my best for.”

“Very well. But have you ever thought about talking about it to somebody?” Angie asked, pouring the hot water into a teapot, putting a cosie on it and bringing it over to the table to brew, settling down next to Kameo on the sofa. “You've had this hanging over you for a long time, I can tell that much...”

“I-...” Kameo trailed off, closing her eyes for a few moments. “There are people who know why. I know what this is about. But nothing is ever going to change it. So I would just like my tea.”

Angelina nodded, resting a hand on Kameo's for a moment. “You have your reasons. I can sense that you have your reasons. But, find someone you can trust, please? I got my reasons to be worried about you. About all the crazy people around here who come to me with their troubles. It was not part of my original business plan.” Kameo let out a weak chuckle at that, nodding slowly. “Come on, let's drink some tea.”

* * *

Lizzie liked to think of herself as a loose cannon who played hard and fast with the rules, but got the job done no matter the cost. Today, she was skipping class. It had sounded much better in her head but she did have a legitimate reason. The sky was slate grey as she headed into Old Town, dark buildings jutting against the skyline like teeth trying to dig into an intangible prey. Cobbled streets gleamed from earlier rain; her feet making little noise against them.

More people were going missing then normal in the Old part of town, also known as homeless central. People always went missing, normally to be found in the river anywhere from days to months later; but there had been a definite increase lately and so she was scoping it out for the possibility of a bit of late night vigilantism. Not that she put on a costume or anything. That would just draw attention. And laughter. Lots of laughter.

She put that out of her mind as she started to move down the back streets, less populated then they should've been, people moving away which was sensible. But if it was what she was afraid of, it would just follow them. They always followed the easy prey.

Her pace slowed as she came down one alley, eyes two practised for one so young able to pick out the signs of a struggle. Whoever had been bedding here had fought, fought hard. The girl squatted down next to the pile of cardboard that she recognised as a bed; looking at the small splatter of blood that had hit it. Fought and lost.

Something clenched in her stomach but she fought it down. Someone had died here, but she couldn't let that affect her. Now she had to look for signs that it was something that she could deal with. That was the harder part. She looked around the alley, long dark hair falling in her face as she did, to be pushed aside with a grumble before starting to pace the size of the alley, trying to recreate the fight that went on her in her mind.

“He came in here...” Partially obscured boot print was sized for male, about average height, maybe a tall woman? “Came forward...” she strode forward, about matching pace with the footprints. “Average male... Grabbed but there's scuffing, then more struggle... Not hugely strong. New at this.” She nodded to herself, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, heading towards the large dumpster and peeking inside, forcing herself not to retch and she got stared back up at with glassy eyes. “Really new at this...” She stumbled back, the brief glimpse etched into her mind. Neck trauma. Messy. Not a quick way to die. She moved out of the alley quickly. Tonight, she would be back, she would be ready; and someone would avenge the missing.