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holley's psl journal ([info]insane_harry) wrote in [info]writeaway,
@ 2011-03-11 16:26:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:lily!marauder, severus!marauder

Who: Lily and Snape
What: Lily, diligently doing homework on a lovely afternoon outside, until...
Where: The grounds of Hogwarts
When: Marauder Era, unsure of which year. Let's just say her sixth.
Warnings: None

Lily was enjoying the uncommonly warm, sunny afternoon outside, reading over her History of Magic homework for mistakes. Some Gryffindor boys were engaging in horseplay around her and being quite loud, but she tried to ignore them. She was tired of them always being obnoxious to get her attention, especially the dark-haired boy with glasses - James Potter.

"Ten Galleons that I can get Evans here to go out on a date with me!" she heard him boast to his friends. Disgusted, she slammed her books shut and stood up.

"Don't bother trying! You might as well just pay up to your friends now!" she shouted back at him. Before they could get in any more jokes, she hastily walked away to find a quieter spot where she could do her homework. In the distance, she saw a thin boy with long, dark hair sitting under a tree, immersed in a book. Severus. He hadn't talked to her in so long; the last encounter she had had with him, he had called her a "Mudblood." She walked closer to him, slowing her pace as she was unsure of whether or not to say hello to him.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-11 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Severus didn't venture outside often but sometimes it seemed to be the only place he could find some peace and quiet. Hogwarts was a horribly busy place, even in the Slytherin dungeons there was always something going on.

He had been studying for a while now, he was completely lost in the art of potion making, writing down things he wanted to look into more, sure that some of the ingredients in the book were not correct. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth as he read on, completely oblivious to what was happening around him.

"No... idiots." He muttered as he scribbled something on a piece of parchment, sometimes he wondered how he was to learn something if even the textbooks were written by idiots who did not know the difference between aconite and scurvy-grass.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-11 10:07 pm UTC (link)
She heard him muttering a bit but couldn't catch what he said. She knew this was normal Severus behavior, as he often got just as involved in assignments as she did and tended to talk to himself occasionally while working. She took a deep breath and decided to speak to him. She had nothing to lose. Well, her feelings could get hurt again, but she was willing to risk it because she missed him.

"Hello, Severus," she said politely, her heart beating faster as she anticipated his response.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-11 10:15 pm UTC (link)
Severus was startled by the sound of Lily's voice, he had not heard her approach and even if he had, he had not expected her to talk to him ever again. He knew he had been mean calling her a mudblood, he was a half-blood himself after all. In his defense though, those bloody Gryffindor's had been getting on his nerves and Lily was a Gryffindor, guilty by association.

He looked up at the girl that used to be his friend, trying to keep any and all emotions of his face. "Lily." He greeted not able to keep the suspicion out of his voice. Looking passed her for a moment to check if more of her house were there before looking back at her through a curtain of his black hair.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-14 01:35 am UTC (link)
She shifted her books in her arms and touched her hair self-consciously. "Er, how are you?" she asked him, feeling awkward as she noticed his guarded manner. Her feelings were already getting hurt, but she knew that was her own fault. What had she been expecting - for him to jump up from where he was sitting and greet her with a huge smile on his face? No, that wasn't his style, even when they were friends.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-14 06:14 pm UTC (link)
Severus knew Lily well enough to know that she was feeling self-conscious, it was just so hard for him to trust people. He always thought that she was his friend but being sorted in Gryffindor and Slytherin started to feel more and more like a strain on their friendship. His encounter with Remus the wolf at full moon and Black's hand in that 'prank' had hurt Severus' trust in Gryffindors even more. He hated being Potter and his mates' favorite victim.

"I am fine." He tried to make it sound like he was telling the truth but he wasn't perfect in hiding his feelings, he made a mental note to work on that some more. "How are you?" He had added that question before he had time to stop himself. He knew he was setting himself up for more hurt, quickly he glanced around afraid to see Potter and Black jump out.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-14 06:21 pm UTC (link)
She noticed him glancing around and did the same, but she already knew what he was looking for. He was waiting for the sudden, loud appearance of the obnoxious group of boys she had been so desperate to get away from earlier. "Severus, it's okay. I promise," she said gently, moving to sit on the ground beside him. "They're vile. I don't want them around me..."

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-14 06:43 pm UTC (link)
Suspicion and hope were fighting inside Severus' brain for dominance. Lily had always been a friend, but she also was a Gryffindor. She might not want Potter, Black and their friends around her, but that did not mean it would stay that way.

"Are you sure you don't?" Hope was obvious in his voice and he knew he was just setting himself up to be hurt more. Someone like Lily would never stay friends with someone like him. He should listen more to the pureblood Slytherins, they were strong and if he played his cards right they might not mind that he was a half-blood.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-14 06:57 pm UTC (link)
"I'm sure," she answered firmly and without hesitation. That Severus would doubt she preferred him over those awful boys also hurt her. "I'm sick of all their jokes, and James won't leave me alone. He keeps bragging to the others about how he thinks I fancy him. It's rubbish, though. I'm not interested in him, especially not after seeing how boastful and foolish he acts."

At this, she made herself shut up, in case Severus was not interested in her blabbering. The look on his face was unreadable, but she knew he didn't like to hear about or be around them.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-14 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Severus wanted to believe Lily so much that he let down he guard a little. "Maybe we can try to forget about them." He really didn't feel like talking about those Gryffindors and definitely didn't feel like mentioning their names. Part of him was still worrying about getting hurt again, but for now the need of friendship was a little stronger.

In an effort to change the topic he looked at the books Lily was carrying. "What were you studying?"

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-14 09:55 pm UTC (link)
She picked up a book and flipped through it nervously. Lily had a habit of fidgeting with things when she felt self-conscious. "Oh, just History of Magic. Nothing very difficult," she answered cheerily, glad he was continuing the conversation. "What about you?"

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-14 10:28 pm UTC (link)
"I still have to start on the History of Magic assignment." History of Magic was important of course, but even Severus had to admit that it was boring at times, even he had a hard time staying focussed when Professor Binns was talking.

"I was working on Potions." He had the textbook still open on his lap, the parchment next to him was filled with his tiny handwriting, mostly comments on things he wanted to look further into and mistakes he thought were in the text.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-14 11:08 pm UTC (link)
"Oh, I hadn't started that yet. I got a little confused by the instructions in the assignment. They didn't seem right..."

She glanced over at the parchment next to him; by the looks of it, he had already been making a lot of progress. There was no denying it - he was much better at Potions than she was. She didn't mind admitting that, though. Severus was more brilliant than most of the other students gave him credit for - especially James and his group. She wanted to hurt the lot of them for tormenting her best friend so.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-15 09:20 am UTC (link)
"Maybe we can work together?" The words were out before Severus really thought about it. Of course she didn't want to work with him, she was a Gryffindor, he was a Slytherin. He should not want to work with her for the same reason but also because of the things he had been hearing from some of the older Slytherins. He should not want to be around a muggle-born witch, he should work toward a pureblood wizardingworld.

It was just so hard to decide what to do and want, Lily was nice to him and the purebloods, who should be superior, like Potter and Black were always terrorizing him. The whole werewolf episode was still clear in his mind. He wanted to be friends with Lily but he knew he needed stronger friends like Lucius Malfoy. He would not be able to have both.

"If you want of course." He added if she said yes then he would decide about the pureblood superiority things he heard about another day.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-15 02:45 pm UTC (link)
"Oh, of course I want to!" she said quickly. She was so happy he had offered. She did not care what anyone else thought if they happened to see them together and was determined to protect him from their mean classmates in whatever way she could from now on. Without realizing it, she scooted a little closer to him. "When do you want to start? We don't have to right now, of course," she added doubtfully, seeing his hesitant, still guarded expression and biting her lip. "Er, it's up to you. We can go wherever you like. It's getting dark out here soon anyway..." She also realized that even though she didn't care, he might not be ready to be seen with her again, especially not by the Gryffindors or his own friends in Slytherin. She wanted to keep him comfortable, for fear of him not speaking to her again. She hoped she had not said too much.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-15 06:35 pm UTC (link)
Severus looked up to the sky as if he had not even noticed that it was getting darker. "Right..." He muttered feeling a little bit silly, he, as usual, seemed to have lost track of the time.

"We could go to the library." He was pretty sure that there would not many people there, maybe some Ravenclaws but they usually kept out of the whole Gryffindor vs Slytherin thing.

Mentally Severus hit himself upside the head though, he knew he was setting himself up to be hurt. He was sure Lily would never intentionally hurt him but still he would get hurt. He knew her since they were children and the older he got the more he noticed that his feelings for Lily were changing. Feelings he should not have because, even though she was called a mudblood by his Slytherin friends, as a woman she was out of his league.

"We still have some time if we go there now." In for a knut in for a galleon!

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-15 07:43 pm UTC (link)
Lily smiled brilliantly and helped him gather up his books before picking up her own. As they stood up, her smile faded as she thought about them having to pass near the spot where James and his friends had been earlier. Hopefully they were gone by now. If not... well, she wasn't going to let them hurt her best friend again. Not caring how forward it might seem, she took Severus's hand in her own as they began walking toward the library. If James starts, I'll give him a piece of my mind, she thought with certainty. I'll knock the idiot over the head with a book or something. She knew she would never do that, as much as she wanted to. Still, she was determined to protect Severus however she could. The first way to do that was by showing she was proud of being his friend.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-15 09:41 pm UTC (link)
Severus followed looking at Lily's hand holding his, when they were children they held hands but they hadn't anymore for a long time. He liked the feel of his hand in her's but he knew he shouldn't, she was just being a friend. A good friend, maybe even a foolish friend, because Severus knew that is anyone would see them walking like that Lily would get ridiculed just like him. He knew the right thing would be to let go of Lily's hand but he couldn't, he didn't want too.

The closer they got to the castle the more Severus started to worry, not just about Gryffindors but also about Slytherins, but he didn't see anyone. It wasn't that late yet, was it? Maybe today they got lucky, no Potter and his friends to torment them and also no Slytherins who would remind Severus that this was not the way you acted around muggleborn witches. Maybe, just once this horrible school year, he got to enjoy a bit of his afternoon.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-15 09:57 pm UTC (link)
She hadn't expected her heart to soar when he did not let go of her hand. This was the happiest she had felt in a long time. She held her breath as they neared her previous study spot, but there was no sign of the boys anywhere. Good, perhaps they had gone to dinner. She breathed a small sigh of relief and continued leading him, and they reached the inside of the castle.

She knew she had missed Severus terribly since the horrible day they had stopped speaking, but she was a little scared of how happy this was making her. What would she do if something else happened, and he left her forever? Leave me? Lily asked herself inwardly. I'm thinking like we're a couple or something. No, she decided she was being too silly. She mustn't think in those terms.

She allowed herself one short, sideways glance at him as they walked, wishing she could hear at least some of his thoughts.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-16 09:44 am UTC (link)
Severus was on a good day not a very talkative person, and even though this was one of the best days he had in months, probably even years, he still had no idea what to say. It was not really a horrible uncomfortable silence but a silence that felt like it should be filled.

"What do you want to start with, Potions or History of Magic?" He knew it was a silly question, it really did not matter what the studied because any time spend with Lily would be good. No, not just good, it would be great! It would probably not happen often anymore because every time it looked like he could talk to Lily either the Gryffindor terrors or his own housemates would mess it up.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-16 12:04 pm UTC (link)
"How about Potions?" Lily suggested. "I was having a little more difficulty with that. Of course, I'm sure you're figuring it out with no problems, hmm?" She smiled over at him.

Once they got to the library, the first table they came upon was occupied by a group of Gryffindor girls. They looked like they could have been no older than fourth years. Most of them gave Lily the evil eye when they saw who she was with, but she made a point of ignoring it. She continued walking right past them, holding Severus's hand tightly, as if she thought he might try to escape. Lily thought about rudely asking the girls what their problem was, but she knew it was better to act as though she hadn't noticed them.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-16 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Severus never had any problems with Potions, he preferred Defense agains the Dark Arts, but Potions was his best subject. He knew he would be able the help Lily with the assignment, Potions really wasn't that hard, it just needed concentration and working with precision.

He was surprised when Lily didn't even let go of his hand while passing the Gryffindor girls, he tried really hard to ignore them, but still he directed an annoyed glare at the girls.

When he spotted an empty table in a quiet part of the library, even near the potions section, he stopped. "Over there is a table we can use." He motioned with the hand Lily was not holding toward the table.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-17 12:21 am UTC (link)
"Looks good to me," she agreed and headed toward it with him. She reluctantly let go of his hand as she put the books on the table and sat down in a chair. Again, there was the self-conscious habit of smoothing her hair back, and she must have looked quite dumb for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts to put them on homework. She was dazed and could not stop thinking of more ways to be close to him. If she was certain it would not have freaked him out, she would have scooted her chair a little closer to his. This was not only about showing she was glad to have him as a friend anymore - it was turning into more than that.

Stop it, you silly, she warned herself. Unless you want him to stop talking to you again.

Lily felt her face grow warm, but she did her best to seem cool and collected on the outside. "Oh, er, it was the assignment on Draught of Peace I didn't understand. The directions seem wrong," she said as she picked up her book and clumsily dropped it on the table. "Oops, sorry," she muttered, flipping to the ingredients page. She felt as though she could use a Draught of Peace herself at the moment.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-17 09:27 am UTC (link)
Severus knew Lily long enough, and he thought well enough, to see the self-conscious habit. Of course he did misinterpreted it in combination with the clumsily dropped book. He thought that she was having seconds thoughts of being there with him in a place where people could so easily walk in on them. He was sure that the thought of being caught in the library working with him made her nervous.

He took a moment to resist the urge to get up again and go away from the only person that could really hurt him because she was the only person he really cared for. He wanted to try this though, he needed to know if they were still friends, he knew they never could be anything more but he would go for friendship. If even that was not possible, there was always the life he heard older Slytherins talk about.

"The directions are wrong." Severus stated as he opened the book and his notes. He pulled out a book he had taken out of the library earlier, an old very worn book. "If you look at the directions in this book..." He opened the book on the correct page and held it out for Lily to take. "you'll see the difference, it makes more sense then."

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-17 04:50 pm UTC (link)
Lily took it from him and perused the page for quite some time, taking in the different directions and trying to compose herself. "Oh! Yes, the other book doesn't say to stir counter-clockwise, or to lower the temperature when it's almost done. No wonder my potion never turned the correct turquoise color."

She opened her Potions book and hastily wrote down the right directions, scratching out the incorrect ones. Her hand was sweaty now. "Thank you," she told Severus, handing the worn book back and smiling at him. "What would I do without you?"

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-17 06:43 pm UTC (link)
"You are welcome." Severus muttered nervously blushing at Lily's words. He could tell her how easy it was to do without him. He knew he was good at potions, but he also knew he attracted ridicule and bullies.

"I am sure you would have figured it without my help." Lily was a bright witch, she would have definitely figured out the mistakes, the first step she had already taken before she talked to him, she had realized something was not right.

He took the book back and put it on his potion's notes, smoothing down the worn edges.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-17 07:16 pm UTC (link)
"I don't know, Severus. You seem to have a talent for Potions." She noticed the color coming to his normally pale face at her words, but she thought it was just because he didn't get complimented often enough. Frowning slightly, she thought that perhaps he was under appreciated by his Slytherin friends. She felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that most of them probably did not approve of him spending time with her, a Muggle-born and a Gryffindor. She suppressed a sigh, wishing those things weren't so important. Of course, they weren't important to her.

Lily took out her History of Magic homework next and pointed to it, remarking, "The questions aren't too hard. Maybe we can work together just to get it done faster."

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-18 09:00 am UTC (link)
Severus blushed at Lily's words again, and again he made a mental note to learn how to hide his feelings better. Feelings were things that would get him hurt, make him vulnerable, he could not afford being vulnerable.

He got out his own History of Magic homework and nodded. "That is a good idea." He agreed, hiding his feelings could wait until tomorrow though. Today he tried to enjoy the time he had with Lily, realizing that with things the way they were this might be the last time they'd study together.

"It isn't hard, professor Binns is just so boring." The moment the words were out his mouth he gasped in shock, he could not believe he had just said that. "I mean..." He trailed off, he could not lie to Lily, he really thought Binns was boring.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-18 12:03 pm UTC (link)
She couldn't much blame him for his thoughts on Binns. "It's okay," Lily reassured him, "I find him boring too. I dozed off in his class a few times the other day." She giggled, thinking of their professor's droning voice. Lily was not one to slack off or sleep in classes, but the way she looked at it, it couldn't be helped in Binns's class.

She knew it was not like him to speak badly of professors and appreciated that he was letting his guard down enough to be truthful with her, even if it was about something small. She wanted him to trust her again. And if he ever did, she vowed that she would never let him get hurt again.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-18 06:53 pm UTC (link)
Severus could not believe Lily would ever sleep in class, but Binns classes could put almost anyone asleep, the only reason he never fell asleep was the constant feeling that he needed to keep an eye out for pranks.

He got out his quill, ink and a piece of parchment. He knew that History of Magic could be more interesting with another professor, but doing the homework with Lily was even better then the most interesting professor in the wizardingworld.

"Are you ready to work on the first question?" He looked over at the pretty Griffindor from behind the safety of a curtain of black hair.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-18 09:51 pm UTC (link)
"Sure," she said, flipping her textbook to the correct page. She read the first question aloud, "What was Wendelin the Weird known for?"

Lily could not remember whether or not they had discussed it in class, so she flipped back in the chapter, hoping to scan a few pages and find the answer. And it was fairly easy to find. "Oh, the Flame Freezing Charm! Of course. Now I remember." She wrote down a short paragraph to explain the answer and gave Severus time to do the same. She paused for a moment as he was putting down the answer. His handwriting was so unique - she was fascinated by it and loved to watch him in the process of writing.

Lily shook her head and forced herself to get back on task. He's going to think I've gone mad if he looks up and sees me staring like that.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-19 10:31 am UTC (link)
Severus didn't even notice that Lily was watching him write. He didn't even think of his writing as anything special, just readable but also small enough to be able to put as much information on the parchment he had. He knew he tended to be longwinded in his answers and he wanted to make as much use of the allowed inches of parchment.

He read out the next question before flipping to the right part of the book and reading out the answer. He looked up at Lily after, not yet writing down the answer. He wanted to see if she really wanted to be there, he just could not believe that she would. There were so many people at Hogwarts that were better company then him.

Severus gave Lily a small smile before he started to scribble down the answer to the second question. "Studying together is nice." He whispered, not sure why, he was just setting himself up for a world of hurt, he knew he was.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-19 05:21 pm UTC (link)
She beamed at him and replied quietly but sincerely, "I'm so very glad you think so."

Lily wrote part of the next answer, and then she could contain herself no longer. Things needed to be said; it was no help bottling everything up. "I know you've got your other friends, but I hope we can do this more often. And I know you're reluctant to spend time with me because... because, certain people have to be so rude and..."

She had been trying not to think of James and his crew, because it made her incredibly angry. "I can't believe they could be so horrible to you," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. "I'm s-so... sorry. Oh, Severus..."

She threw down her quill and hugged her friend, letting her tears spill freely onto his cloak.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-19 09:46 pm UTC (link)
This was definitely not something Severus had expected to happen. He had expected to study with Lily and then they would go their own way, but he really had not expected to end up being hugged by the redhead.

He wasn't sure what to do now, he was not the comforting kind of person, which boy his age really was? He could not just sit there like a log so he patted Lily's back awkwardly in a comforting gesture.

"It is not your fault..." He knew it was all Potter and Black.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-19 10:28 pm UTC (link)
"I feel like it is," she said, sniffling. "I feel like I should have done more to help you."

Blushing at her outburst, she finally pulled away slowly. "I'm sorry for breaking down in front of you like this. It just makes me so angry, thinking about them." Remus wasn't as much to blame as James and Sirius were. He did try to tell them to back off sometimes. But they didn't back off. They kept getting nastier and nastier. And she knew one day they might drive Severus away from her for good. Another tear fell from her eye at the thought, and she hastily wiped it away with her sleeve.

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-19 10:48 pm UTC (link)
Severus shook his head as Lily spoke, "There is not much you can do, Lily." He wondered if he was sleeping and dreaming all this. It sounded that he was getting his friend back, she was saying things nobody ever said to him. Nobody ever wanted to help him.

"You better not get involved, I don't want you to get hurt." As he spoke those words he knew that they were the truth. What ever happened, what ever he had called her, even if it had hurt her her, he never intentionally wanted to hurt her. Things were just so confusing at times.

Again he smiled at her, he might have smiled more in one day then he had smiled in all the years at Hogwarts combined.

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-19 11:36 pm UTC (link)
She forced herself to smile back, hoping he did not think she was being too ridiculous.

"I don't know if I can keep from getting involved if they're nasty to you again. Especially if they do that in front of me..."

[[OOC: I think this is nearing a good end for this thread. If you want, we can bring in a James or get Sirius to come in and make their lives difficult in another thread. *devious grin*]]

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-19 11:40 pm UTC (link)
Severus looked down feeling oddly happy with her words. He hoped they would never have to find out if Lily had to get involved, he preferred to never have anything to do with her annoying classmates again.


[[OOC: I think you are right... it is so much fun to torture the poor characters eh? *grins her Ares' grin*]]

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-19 11:43 pm UTC (link)
[[OOC: Yeah, it really is! Alrighty. I think this is a good ending - for once Severus is feeling happy! *smiles* Let me know when you want to start the new thread, and then we can fight amongst ourselves over who is starting it. ;)]]

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-19 11:46 pm UTC (link)
[[OOC: It is a good ending *nodsnods*

Do you want to add Sirius and Remus to the mix? I play Remus of course... and we can ask Julie to bring him in. All we need to make it a battlefield is a Peter and a James... ;)

Fight eh? *covers her inner-Ares' ears*]]

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[info]insane_harry
2011-03-19 11:50 pm UTC (link)
[[I think having Sirius in on things would be nice. I'll ask Julie about it. If you are bringing in Remus, I can probably bring in a temp James. It wouldn't be the same without him around to irritate poor Lily and Severus. So, the epic fight shall wait until I have talked to Julie. mwahaha!]]

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[info]hot_stuff
2011-03-19 11:55 pm UTC (link)
[[Sounds good... lol - Just when Sirius had promised to apologize to Severus for the Shrieking Shack thing too... ;) ]]

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