Roman (touchofsilver) wrote in worldsapart_ic, @ 2019-08-06 08:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | ainsley carrow, roman etana ka'uhane |
Who: Roman Etana Ka'uhane & Ainsley Carrow
What: Roman offers a listening ear and hopefully sage advice?
When: Sometime after these
Where: Roman's truck & Costco
Rating: Low
Warnings: None
Roman was a lot of things but shitty person was not one of them and it was clear from looking at Ainsley’s text messages that the girl was conflicted and if she was feeling that way inclined then it might cause problems in her friendship with Koa so ultimately it was important she get everything off her chest and if he could help then he would.
Shopping for the BBQ was the perfect excuse to get that particular conversation flowing and hopefully get to some sort of resolution that would be helpful for Ainsley. He also knew where Koa and Gabe were so there was zero chance of running into either of them when they were out and about so gave them plenty of time to talk.
He pulled up outside of Ainsley’s place and honked the horn to let her know he was there and waiting.
Since Ainsley figured she’d be going to Roman’s from the store, because it only made sense to help him in with things and then whatever to prepare, Ainsley was already dressed for the BBQ. Hopping down the stairs, her sneakers absorbing the shock well enough she pranced out of the building, throwing a wave at her downstairs neighbour as she went.
She’d opted for denim shorts and layered tank tops with colourful prints on them, a shirt over the top to protect her shoulders and plaited pigtails, because sometimes she liked to be a stereotype just a little. “Hey!” She got herself settled into the seat, pulling her belt on and hooking her tails over her shoulders.
“How much food does it usually take to feed a werewolf, dragon and all your wolf and other friends?” Ainsley knew that Gabe didn’t need to eat, but might partake out of habit, or blending in. But Koa was a bottomless pit.
“Well, hello to you too,” Roman drawled, clearly amused by that conversation starter. He put the car in gear and pulled away to head in the direction of CostCo because he’d been smart and bought himself a membership that meant he could buy things in bulk while saving money and also getting cashback. “But to answer your question? A hell of a lot. Which is why you and I are hitting up CostCo today.”
It was also a little way out so would give them a good chance to talk.
“Can’t complain about the prices or how much food you get for your money.”
“I have a habit of jumping small talk because it makes me feel weird. Because it’s a standard that people always say ‘I’m fine’ when asked how they are. Like they can’t be honest? So I feel like if you skip it and come around to ‘so how’ve you been’ after everyone is comfortable, people are more honest.” There was this thing, which was probably more obvious to people very familiar with Koa, that likely meant Ainsley and Koa were meant to be fast friends.
The rambling and over explaining was probably just an Ainsley quirk though.
“And samples,” CostCo was probably a staple of any household with a large family, her mother just liked getting wholesale everything, but it did come in handy when feeding four growing kids. “We never were able to get out of there without one of us putting something we wanted in the cart.” It was usually taken out, but that didn’t need to be shared.
“Small talk is definitely bullshit,” Roman concluded with a nod. “I much rather people just say what it is they’re thinking and then let the chips fall where they may.” He was all about honesty and directness which definitely explained Koa but he got the sense that his boy was stuck between a rock and a hard place as far as Ainsley and Gabe went. He knew how he felt about Gabe, Ainsley was an unknown, but one that Koa had fully brought in and ensconced in their world. He also got territorial over her which was interesting for Roman to watch and he did wonder if Koa knew just how deep in he actually was.
Probably not knowing Koa.
“I love a good sample.” Roman grinned over at Ainsley. “And you can put whatever you want in the cart, alright?”
A straightforward man, that’s exactly what Roman seemed like. She appreciated that, her mother was all about impressions and what people saw, everything had to be perfect and they had to show this certain mask. It was a lot, and Ainsley was never really able to express what she wanted, unless it fit with what her mother wanted. After Wilson had died, it seemed like her mother stopped trying with Ainsley, which at least meant she could spread her wings a little.
She just grinned back at Roman at the prospect of being able to put things in the cart without reproach. “Oh, are pizza’s allowed at BBQ’s? Because I can’t say no to a good pizza.” Or a mediocre pizza honestly. And she didn’t care what people said, she put as many pineapples on her pizza as she could.
“Koa had a tendency to say he didn’t want pizza and then eat most of the pizza when he was in San Fran with me.” It was exactly why Ainsley ordered large pizzas, even just for herself. “He could tell you how addicted I am.”
“Pizzas are totally allowed at BBQs.” Roman certainly wasn’t going to turn his nose up at more food, especially if it was food that people enjoyed and clearly wanted there. He knew for a fact Koa and the others wouldn’t complain either. “That sounds like Koa to me, but he’s always been like that.”
The truck pulled to a stop at a red light and Roman drummed his fingers against the wheel.
“You two are close,” he commented. “More so than you probably thought at first, huh?”
He was trying to ease in or rather transition them to the aborted conversation via text as that was the sort of thing that definitely needed face to face interaction.
Sitting a little more squint in the seat, leaning her shoulder against the seat so that she was more facing Roman than the window, Ainsley nodded thoughtfully. “We are, and I mean, I figured it was a close thing when we were in San Francisco, you know? Because he talked a lot about here and his friends and what life was like. But, well, I never really knew for sure that I’d be coming to Los Angeles, and Koa was always going to keep traveling.”
It wasn’t that she thought their friendship was going to be fleeting, it was more that she thought they’d have a long distance friendship, sharing more over text and calls than in person. But life tended to work its own way.
“So I knew he was quite, I suppose, tactile, right?” That was a good way to word Koa, since he was definitely a hugger. And just about everything in between. “It’s never bothered me, it still doesn’t, it’s just…” It was just that it sometimes felt like more, the way that Koa would nuzzle or the soft sighs, or how he didn’t like anyone getting their scent on Ainsley.
“It’s just that … I don’t know, sometimes I think it’s something different, but he’s the same with Gabe,” and frankly sometimes she was pulled into that thing with Gabe and again, she did not mind, but she wasn’t sure if Koa and Gabe weren’t… something. “I guess I’m just trying to work out if I need to put things in a box and just not look at them in a certain way, accept that it’s just … wolf stuff and it’s Koa’s way of being a friend or what.”
And she did know it was weird talking about this with Koa’s dad.
“And then there’s Gabe who just strips off like he’s meant to be naked every hour of the day, and that doesn’t help at all.” Because she was very much aware that he was hot like burning and Ainsley wasn’t going to lie and say she wasn’t objectifying him regularly.
Roman was silent as Ainsley explained her position went as far as Koa and Gabe went. He could definitely understand why she was confused especially as Koa was definitely affectionate with the people he cared about. Some more than others. And if he was being the same way he was with Gabe with Ainsley then it was no small wonder that she didn’t know up from down
“Koa has always been very tactile and likes to express how he feels by being physically affectionate.” Roman turned a corner and changed lanes a moment later. “Part of who he is but also partly due to the way I raised him.” Roman had never had affectionate parents because dragons were, well, dragons but he had a wealth of warmth that he loved to share. Koa had for a very long time been the sole focus of that and it definitely rubbed off.
He shot Ainsley an understanding smile. “I know it can be very confusing.” Roman paused at a junction. “I suppose the question I have for you is how do you feel about them? Not just Koa but Gabe as well? As in do you have only have feelings for Koa and Gabe is just there, getting naked like it’s no big deal, which makes things even more confusing?”.
“It is,” confusing that was, she hated that something she liked so much was also the problem though. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with how Koa is, I really like that he’s so affectionate and caring and sweet,” she could rattle off dozens of things that were great about how Koa was, because she was never guessing about if Koa cared about her or not.
If he cared wasn’t the issue.
But how did she care about them? It was hard to properly figure out. Ainsley was attracted to both of them, of course she was; Koa was bright and fun and she didn’t know if it was part wolf or because his dad was a dragon and that was probably a lot of activity all the time, but he was a very well built and defined person. And Gabe… it was not hard to see the man was stunningly attractive, had an amazing smile and great hands.
But it wasn’t just that. It wasn’t just that they were hot and she entertained interesting thoughts at times. It was the cuddles on the couch, playing around at the beach, milkshakes and breakfast and all the other times they just text each other all night. She knew that if she didn’t already have feelings for Koa it wouldn’t be hard to fall head over heels.
Gabe was a tiny little bit different, but only in method and reasons. He was quiet and kind and fun, but it was clear that he had some troubles and was pushing through whatever they were. But in the same way, Gabe was certainly the type of person that Ainsley could easily develop romantic feelings.
“I think, I mean, I like them both, they’re both really amazing guys,” and maybe if Gabe had a flaw it’d be nice, but Ainsley hadn’t really seen one yet and that was a little troubling, “I care a lot about both of them, I know I could care a lot more for either one of them too.” Or both, but that was even more complicated. “But then I think Koa’s kinda similar, y’know. In his feelings for Gabe. Right?” There was a vibe, she didn’t want to say anything, but there was something there.
It was clear from what Ainsley was saying she had been giving this whole situation a lot of thought. Probably a lot more thought than either Koa or Gabe had given it. Gabe possibly more than Koa but still it might be a push to say he’d been contemplative of their predicament.
“You’re not wrong about Koa and Gabe,” Roman affirmed with a nod of his head. “They’ve always been close, closer than friends, but never really put a name to whatever it is they are.” Roman had his suspicions but he didn’t go poking his nose into things if he didn’t think it was needed. This was different, it was clear Ainsley needed to get some stuff off her chest. “And I think whatever Koa feels it’s reciprocated even if Gabe’s going through some things right now and it means he isn’t quite as… outgoing as he normally is.”
He tipped his head to glance over at Ainsley. “I mean, nothing wrong with having feelings for two people provided that everybody is on the same page and nobody gets hurt.” Roman wasn’t exactly a traditional sort when it came to relationships because he knew better than anyone how complex and complicated feelings and connections could be. It was never simple, black and white, the world was a mixture of greys so it stood to reason that the heart would be much the same.
“Communication,” Roman remarked sagely. “That’s key. Even if it doesn’t start out that way and stuff happens,” because it was entirely possible it would, “but just make sure that you all know what exactly is going on and where everybody stands. That way there’s no crossed wires, hurt feelings or insecurities. Those are the death of any good thing.”
Roman shot Ainsley a soft reassuring smile. “If it’s any consolation to you there’s no way in hell they’d let just anyone in so that must make you something special.”
There was a lot to unpack from what Roman was saying; not just about Gabe and Koa’s closeness, but the idea of two people at once and all people being aware and supportive. It wasn’t that Ainsley didn’t think it was possible, surely it was, and if anyone could do it, she thought it’d be Koa. But she was raised somewhat more conservatively and refrained. Sure, San Fran had helped loosen a lot of those old anxieties up, but she still had her mother in her head telling her about improper actions and all that good stuff from her youth.
You kiss one girl to see what it’s like and suddenly it’s like you’re a pervert.
“I suppose you’re right,” she mostly meant about the communication thing. And she didn’t know if that was going to go well or not. Would it make Koa awkward about touching her? Would Gabe feel annoyed if Ainsley was poking at how things were? Should she talk to just Koa or bring it up with both of them? Could she just ask what it meant and not have to explain that she was getting all kinds of mixed feelings for the both of them from it all?
Far too many questions to ask out loud right now, least of all to Koa’s dad.
“I guess I knew that, like Gabe letting me in too, not just Koa?” Because it felt like it might be a big deal, for Gabe to share Koa like that, especially as freely as he was, and including Ainsley just as much himself. “I just don’t want to ruin anything, y’know?”
“Oh totally.” Roman turned a corner and saw that Costco was fast approaching. “Definitely a big deal.” He could understand her reticence to mess with the status quo and ruin how things were but at the same time it was definitely better to get on the same page especially if you were going to navigate the tricky waters of a somewhat polyamorous relationship. “But it sounds like you do need to get things cleared up and straightened out before you get in any deeper.”
They all did by the sounds of things.
He didn’t want a good friendship to be ruined by the fact nobody was talking about what was going on and nobody wanted to confront the elephant in the room. Not when Koa’s friendships were so important to him.
Remarkably, even though there seemed to be even more questions to find some answer to, Ainsley felt a little bit better about things. There was probably some fact to the whole ‘talking it out’ thing, because while she knew Roman couldn’t exactly solve any of the issues, it was nice to have said everything out loud, been able to talk about it with someone and get some feedback. Even if it was technically things she knew she had to do at some point.
“Definitely,” working out when to talk to them and how would be the biggest hurdle, but she could maybe work in some dutch courage for that. “After the BBQ, I’ll work out when I can talk to them then.” She didn’t want to have a weird time when the whole point of a BBQ was to hang out and have fun and just relax. They had plenty of time to work things out after all.
“Thanks for this, y’know? You’re so cool about just everything, it’s really nice.” Knowing that there was an adult who’d actually listen and help? It really made a difference.
Roman drew the truck to a stop in the parking lot and as he cut the engine he turned to offer Ainsley a smile, warm and friendly. “Hey, anytime.” He’d rather that people were comfortable enough to talk to him about things so he could help than be fearful or afraid of what he might say. He was definitely more of a new age parent than he was an old fart, trying desperately to escape that particularly pitfall, without of course being too lax. “Hopefully it helped.”
He popped open his door and stepped out, rummaging out his Costco card.
“Now let’s go buy some meat, alcohol, sweet stuff, snacks and most importantly, pizza.”