It's all AU.

Jack was sitting on the edge of a pier, legs dangling above the water. He had a cup of coffee, was squinting a bit against the setting sun and was utterly content with his lot in 'life'. When he heard a foot step somewhere near him he said, warmly, "Come pull up a board."

Mulder had spent the better part of the last few weeks studying up on Vampire myth and legend, and occasionally wandering around at night with equal parts curiosity and caution. Which meant he really wasn't around a lot and was sleeping a lot of the time he was. At least he wasn't depressed and struggling with his sexuality.

He brought a cup of tea to the console room when he went, handed it to the Doctor and folded himself to sit beside him. "Talk to me."

Romana was running down a street in New New York, towards the hotel. And crying. It was a bad combination. She stumbled on the hem of her cloak, and ended up leaning hard against a wall for a second, trying to clear her vision.

( Spoilers for CoE )

OOC note: SPOILER WARNING: POST AND THREAD MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR TW SERIES 3 TL;DR version: John goes home, and gets dropped back in the nexus post the events of TW S3.

Where he promptly ended up on the steps outside the nexus' Hotel in fake New New York. He sat down heavily as soon as he realised where he was in his drunken state, laughing bitterly as he did so and shaking his head. "Well, that about figures," he said loudly to the air at large.

He'd heard about young Koschei's sensor array. Or course he had to go have a look, sometime when the kid wasn't around. He poked a bit, careful not to really disturb, as much as he wanted to tweak. So, here he was on a room with a lot of equipment, grinning like a fool.

ETA: Spoilers for TW Season 3 in the comments.

"What," Jack asked, as he came to a stop beside the Master. "The fuck was that?"

He really, really didn't know.

He really, really didn't like it.

The Doctor stepped back into the bedroom, having left to putter around in the TARDIS, an idea brewing in the back of his mind. It had taken a bit to find a proper picnic basket, since he couldn't quite remember where he'd left it, and a bit less to find a good blanket to go with the food and the bottle of wine he'd packed into the basket.

He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching over to comb his fingers through Jack's hair, one corner of his mouth curling up in a warm grin. "Jack."

"Get rid of one, and a half a dozen more pop up. They're like roaches -- or maybe weevils. Either way: I don't like it." Not one damn bit. Spike could be blamed for the less than warm reception the news of vampires being around the place was getting from Jack.

Thanks for sharing, Brant. Thanks a lot.

"You know, I think the thing I hate most about the 21st century is the lack of really good water proof lube. They're getting better with the silicone stuff, but that gets sticky. Oil's a crappy option because it breaks down the condoms. Makes getting *fucked* in a pool harder than it should be. Worth it, though." He didn't care who he was talking to. He was walking down the street in New New (New etc.) York licking an ice cream cone. Who he was talking to didn't matter; life was good, and so was his mood.

Koschei found his way down to the river. He was watching the boats go by, intrigued. He turned and said conversationally, pointing to a sailboat, "Somewhat more complicated than a kite, I imagine."

Jack knocked on the TARDIS door, bright and early. He could have let himself in, but he wanted to make sure they were both awake and not trying to murder each other. He also really, really wanted them to come see the surprise he'd brought them. If he had to wander around the TARDIS looking, the effect wouldn't be nearly so good.

The surprise was The Master. He was rumpled, his hands were cuffed behind his back and he was gagged with his tie. He looked far more exasperated and resigned than pissed off.

Jack was holding him by one arm, bouncing on his toes and grinning from ear to ear when the door opened. "Look what I found!" he exclaimed, followed closely by: "Can I keep him?"

Theta threw a smoke bomb over his shoulder, running down the hall with a laugh and stumbling out of the Academy hallway and into a city. He stared up, startled by a blue sky for a moment- he'd never been off world before he remembered.

He grinned wildly, turning around and beaming, "Fascinating!"

He'd remembered being curled up, wedged into some corner of Torchwood, rocking. He could see their faces still, could still hear their screaming, knew deep down that he'd killed them and he'd liked it.

Ianto didn't even realise the scenery had changed, didn't even know that he wasn't in the Hub anymore, that, instead, he was sitting in the middle of the street, still rocking, still murmuring to himself.

He wasn't doing much more than wandering around the streets, looking for a TARDIS that felt familiar and drinking a cup of coffee. He spotted a blue box and a Doctor on a pass, and took a couple of steps back to squint. "Hey, you. I take it it's been a while." He offered over his hand.

River sat vigil. She'd nervously touched the Master a couple of time, and jumped back like she'd been scalded. His mind was way, way too noisy for her, and his drop in body temperature was freaking her out. She told herself as long as he was breathing, she shouldn't panic.

Jack wasn't in distress either, so. That was good right?

She was beginning to panic. She had nothing stable in her world, and the person who had been taking care of her wasn't just hurting. He wasn't functioning, right now.

Continued from here.

The Doctor left with Brant and Bran't Jack in a hurry. The Master slowly slid to the floor as soon as they did.

"Boys are dumb," River announced.

Well.

He actually had to look for the Master. Fortunately, he didn't have to look very hard. He saw The Master's Jack leaving the room, remembered what he'd heard about them staying togehter and knocked on the door.

The Master was in the hotel lobby. Suddenly. Not in this incarnation's usual outfit, but a black and silver uniform, and gloves. He looked around, gathered himself together, and said as he sank into a chair, "I should have seen that coming. If I'd remembered."

He looked tired.

"Someone just stole my wallet," Jack said, to someone he recognized, at the bar. "There's a few things important about this. First: I don't have any money, and I'm pretty sure there's no economy here, my urge to try to sleep with the 'natives' is on the rise. Along with my cock. That's not gonna end well, and I can't count to three because I've had *way* too much to drink."