welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

Well then, this.. this is new. I'd rant and rave over how I need to get home, but I've been looking through the network enough to realize it's not going to do me much good. Besides, if I'm going to be honest, this place looks a hell of a lot better than home. A lot less mass destruction by spoiled super powered murderers. I'm just going to take this as a sign that someone is insisting, in an extravagant and inconvenient way, that I take a break.

So who can I talk to about getting a job at the paper? If I'm going to be stuck here, I need to be doing something useful. I may be without my other resources, but journalism is still the best tool I have left in my arsenal.

So...Storybrooke? Interesting name I have to say. Least the rift had one good side effect.

You know what? I'm done with that stupid Teen Wolf show. That's a terrible name, by the way. Who would watch a show called Teen Wolf? That makes it sound almost nice. Like a teen who's a wolf and everything's great and that's really misleading. Because everything's awful. Always. Just all the time. Forever. Anyone who actually likes this show is bad people. Scott, you should sue someone.

I'm going to just watch terrible SyFy movies forever, because that's a much better life choice. Sharknado beats out shows about everything in our lives being awful. Danny, we need to watch Sharknado. It's a tornado made of sharks.

Erica, I made you apology cookies. So...sorry about that again.

And, okay. I really need some Adderall. Who do I talk to about that?

I really don't have time for this.

Is there a gym around here, loves?

Also, a gun range would be helpful.

Can someone point me in the right direction, hm?

Filtered to Women & Locals of Storybooke

Okay I have a question for all of you. If I was pregnant back home - not far enough to be fully aware of it yet but the signs are there now that I think of it, I should assume I'm still pregnant here?

My name is Clark Kent and I, like you, am a recent transplant to Storybrooke. I'm also a recent addition to the Daily Mirror staff.

I'm doing a daily feature on some of the town's residents, both new and old, and I'd love to have a chat with anyone interested in participating. If you are, please let me know. We can meet up for a coffee or I can conduct an interview right here on the network. It's up to you.

Thanks in advance.

What the fuck.

Seriously if someone shot me again and I'm hallucinating I'm gonna be fucking pissed when I wake up.

If you've finished the collective obsessional behavior, I require a body. Preferably male, 1.73 meters, mid-thirties, slight build. I'll return it mildly damaged.

[Encrypted to John]

Get the gun.

This was not where I expected to be teleported to, but okay. Kenzi, are you here?

Right then.

My name is Emma Swan, and I'm the Sheriff here in Storybrooke. You've all met the Mayor, and been given your welcome kits, but if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me, or my deputy, David Nolan.

And if you could all fill this out for me, so I get a feel of who's who, that would be great.

<b>NAME:</b> <b>AGE/DOB:</b> <b>PREVIOUS RESIDENCE:</b> <b>PAST OCCUPATION:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL SKILLS/ABILITIES:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL NEEDS:</b> <b>ANYTHING ELSE:</b>


[OOC: Characters, can try to lie, but Emma has had the Blue Fairy charm the form with a spell that prevents people from doing so!]