welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

[Filtered to Melissa McCall]
I think we should invite Chris with us. Talk him through everyone. It'd be good for him to spend some time with adults he knows. I'm sure he wants to spend time with Allison but with everything that's happened to our kids, I think this would be good for all of us.

[Filtered to Chris Argent and Melissa McCall]
How about you come to Granny's with Melissa and me tomorrow night? We'll fill you in on everything and catch up. Also, I don't know when you came from but Melissa and I know everything about everything at home.

I don't really see much point in asking questions other people have probably already asked or pointing out how shocked I am to suddenly be in a small town full of people who used to be princesses or mice or witches. Of course I'm shocked. Who wouldn't be? I'm also annoyed and confused. I can multitask like that. I really just have one question.

Where's my daughter?

I'll worry about being trapped in crazy land in a second.

Is there a doctor around here?

I... I don't know what I am doing here.

Scott? Are you here? Or even Stiles. Someone?

I watched it twice, but I'm still not

That can't

I can't breathe

Fuck

That show is really underselling it with its tagline.

"This might hurt"? More like "Stabbing you directly in the heart would hurt less than this".

( OOC: Teen Wolf spoilers in comments. )

You know what? I'm done with that stupid Teen Wolf show. That's a terrible name, by the way. Who would watch a show called Teen Wolf? That makes it sound almost nice. Like a teen who's a wolf and everything's great and that's really misleading. Because everything's awful. Always. Just all the time. Forever. Anyone who actually likes this show is bad people. Scott, you should sue someone.

I'm going to just watch terrible SyFy movies forever, because that's a much better life choice. Sharknado beats out shows about everything in our lives being awful. Danny, we need to watch Sharknado. It's a tornado made of sharks.

Erica, I made you apology cookies. So...sorry about that again.

And, okay. I really need some Adderall. Who do I talk to about that?

You know what? No. Just no.

I can't even right now with this crap.

Portals and other worlds and...no. I refuse.

I'm not dealing with this.

( ooc: spoilers for the most recent episode of Teen Wolf in the comments )

Right then.

My name is Emma Swan, and I'm the Sheriff here in Storybrooke. You've all met the Mayor, and been given your welcome kits, but if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me, or my deputy, David Nolan.

And if you could all fill this out for me, so I get a feel of who's who, that would be great.

<b>NAME:</b> <b>AGE/DOB:</b> <b>PREVIOUS RESIDENCE:</b> <b>PAST OCCUPATION:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL SKILLS/ABILITIES:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL NEEDS:</b> <b>ANYTHING ELSE:</b>


[OOC: Characters, can try to lie, but Emma has had the Blue Fairy charm the form with a spell that prevents people from doing so!]

Well, at least I finally healed.

[Message to former residents of Beacon Hills]
Has anyone gotten a look at this supposedly impenetrable magical wall?

I went to go get the mail in Beacon Hills, and think I ended up at Comic-Con.

Any chance there's just something really weird in the water?

If you're seeing this, I suppose you've seen the Storybrooke Welcoming Committee by now, but on the off chance I've missed you, it seemed proper to introduce myself.  I'm Charming- or David, if you prefer- and I'm the Sheriff's Deputy here.  If you need anything, just let myself or Sheriff Swan know.

In the meantime, all you really need to know is that the best food in town is at Granny's.  And stay away from Regina Mayor Mills.  Trust me.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that I didn't end up in Maine because my sense of direction is absolutely horrible.