A Very McLeody Christmas Leaving Sonora wasn't the first time Evelyn had the dooming sense of ill-placement in the world. She didn't belong at “home,” that much was clear from the clipped reply she'd received regarding her stay at Ness’ for Christmas, and Sonora hardly seemed better when she'd spent her first semester being confused by everyone and doing consistently below average in all her classes. She hadn't expected the sense of dread that washed over her as she said her meek goodbyes and left the Pecari Common Room with her bag.
Vermont was the sort of state that Evelyn forgot even existed and she thought that sounded sort of nice in a way. Disappearing into the folds of a US map seemed better than spending another day trying to disappear into the sheets and blankets of a bed that couldn't ever quite feel dark enough or soft enough or warm enough. She hated to think maybe she wasn't feeling enough.
Greeting Ness with an awkward smile, Evelyn moved silently through the movements required to stow her bag and climb into a wagon beside Ness. Kir was opposite them and looking rather more relaxed than Evelyn thought was fair. If anyone should feel awkward, it should be the older boy, stuck in a wagon with two first years and a load of emotional baggage stowed in the cabin.
"Anyone want to play a game to pass the time?" Kir offered. He was unsure how much the two first years would want his input, but he figured this gave them an option to make it a solid 'no' if they just wanted to chat to each other, whereas it was harder to tell someone to just butt out if they started an unwelcome conversation with you (though he had a certain degree of faith that Ness would manage it). He wasn’t totally sure how to deal with Evelyn but he was not a shy person, nor really given to self-consciousness, and he figured the best thing was just to act normal. And he normally offered to play games on long journeys.
Evelyn thought she'd been staring out the window but found that her hands were the subject of her staring when her thoughts returned to the present moment and she looked at Kir. He was being so nice to them. It didn't make much sense but Ness was nice so Evelyn supposed it must run in the family. How odd.
“What game?” Evelyn replied, almost daring to smile.
“Alphabet game?” Kir suggested with a shrug that implied this was open to discussion, “As in we go through A-Z naming something for each letter. We could do Sonora things,” he offered.
Evelyn breathed a sigh of relief. This was a game she could do well at and that didn't require any sort of brilliance that outstripped her. She'd been half afraid Kir would suggest a game of “levitate things” or something equally disastrous for her. She swallowed the lump of nerves in her throat as best she could. This was Christmas break and there was no time to feel terrible.
“Accidental magic,” Evelyn began.
The alphabet game had been a better idea than Kir had realised. He had mostly suggested it because it was his default suggestion - it always annoyed him when he offered Ness a game of twenty questions and then had to wait forever for that devious little mind to come up with its best hope of catching him out. There was a lot of silent, irritating waiting with twenty questions, plus when you played it with people you didn’t know, it was hard to know who they would know. It had to be guessable to be fair. The run through of their year so far in alphabetical order had also given him a chance to hear more snippets of news, interesting stories which he’d teased out when they made references he didn’t understand, as well as contributing his own highlights. It had been quite an effective way for them to get to know a bit more about each other, without having to ask any of the dreaded small talk questions. There had been a minor disagreement when Ness had tried to claim Zevalyn for Z, Kir’s protests that she was his girlfriend losing out to Ness’ protests that it was her turn to go first on a letter. The game did not last the whole journey by any stretch, but it opened things up enough for it to be relaxed and comfortable to play more games, to talk or to sit and stare at the view without it feeling like an awkward silence, and soon enough the wagon began its descent.
“That’s our parents,” Ness pointed, as the wagon touched down and the three of them scrambled down. The McLeod children led Evelyn over to a man with sandy hair and a dusting of freckles and a woman with short brown hair and outrageously colourful earrings with a scarf that in no way matched, apart from also being a riot of colour. It was clear that Ness and Kir’s height came more from the latter, as whilst Fionn McLeod was fairly average height, Marijke Lange stood a clear head taller than him.
“Hello, I’m Marijke, and this is Fionn,” she smiled. “You must be Evelyn. I can see we’re going to get on,” she added, gesturing to Evelyn’s ears.
Evelyn blushed and smiled. She shot a look at Ness', hoping it conveyed all of her amazement at meeting such kind people so quickly. She wondered whether Mr. McLeod intentionally hung back, having been warned of the sort of things Evelyn was trying to leave behind. Whether that was the case or not, she appreciated it.
“I hope so,” Evelyn admitted to Ness’ mother. She'd worn earrings her mom had gotten for her at a store in town, hoping they would carry some familial feelings into the winter break. Tiny owl figurines perched on branches that swung from Evelyn's ears, remarkably lightweight for their size. Each owl had glowing purple eyes. “My mom got them for me. She knows I love to climb trees and that's where the owls go to sleep.” She hadn't meant to say so much and looked down nervously.
“Even better, I like jewellery with a story,” smiled Marijke encouragingly, as Evelyn looked a bit nervous about sharing her ideas. Deciding that was probably enough small talk and that getting home and settled was a good idea, she added, “We’re going to side-along apparate the three of you home. Have you done that before?” she checked.
“No,” Evelyn said quietly. She hoped something came up at some point that didn't feel like a confession to acknowledge, but at least this strange family was nice. She looked to Ness for reassurance, hoping the Aladren's knowledge about everything ever would help dispel some of her more irrational fears about this mode of travel.
“It’s fast but kinda squeezy,” Ness informed Evelyn, when the latter looked over, clearly inviting Ness to explain rather than asking their Mom. “Probably kinda like what it’s like being the last little bit of toothpaste in the tube. You just hang onto my mom, and let her hang onto you and she’ll whoosh us back home.”
“Arms round shoulders so we make a triangle is probably best. That ok with you both?”
Evelyn's lips pressed into a wry smile. Ness clearly got the habit of asking consent from the McLeod parents and Evelyn was surprised to find it comforting instead of odd, as she once had. Everything else seemed so out of control and although she knew that ultimately, getting to their home would likely require physical contact, she appreciated being given the option.
“Yes. Thank you for asking,” Evelyn replied, stepping forward to accept her pending fate as leftover toothpaste. She wondered if Ness’ comparison was intentionally disgusting and just hoped it wasn't on the reserved end of the metaphor spectrum. They turned on the spot, and vanished, Marijke taking the two first years, and Fionn taking Kir.
*
“We’re just a couple of streets that way,” Fionn explained, as they reappeared in a back alley behind a coffee shop - a friend of the family worked Saturdays there and had assured them that the alley was usually empty outside of delivery times and cigarette breaks, and as he - a virtuous non-smoker - had a shift that day, it would likely be free. “There’s a lot of non-magical people in the neighbourhood, so we have to keep things on the downlow. And we have various protective charms and thingumybobs around the house so you can’t aparate directly in - side-effect of running an organisation that makes rich and powerful people hate your guts,” he explained cheerfully as they set off through the pleasant small town, dotted liberally with trees who, at this time of year, were raising their bare branches to the sky.
Evelyn felt much more comfortable than she'd expected to in this part of the world, Mr. McLeod’s explanation notwithstanding. It was bitter cold, a comfortable feeling after growing up on the Oregon coast, and while she'd grown up in a wizarding village, she hadn't ever been particularly welcome there. She wondered what her mom would think of this place and suspected she would find it equally comforting. Something about a world with no magic just seemed simpler.
* Once they had arrived, Fionn and Marijke levitated the three trunks upstairs, the children following behind
“Ten minutes manual unpacking and then your father and I will help you with anything that’s left - provided it looks like ten minutes has been done,” Marijke ordered, “Then you can have a snack. Evelyn, you follow me.”
“Isn’t she staying in my room?” Ness asked.
“No, she’s in the guest room,” Marijke replied.
“Why?” Ness protested, and then reading the look that said the answer to that should be obvious, added, “I share with girls at school.”
“That’s school. This is home. The rules are different,” Marijke replied, having a brief conversation entirely by eye contact with her husband that suggested he follow this up with A Word to Ness. They had already decided that Marijke would help get Evelyn settled, and so she lead her along to a neat little bedroom. It was simply but comfortably furnished, the single bed covered with a quilt patterned with rainbows - the more literal childish type - plus a closet and chest of drawers. A little bedside table carried a small lamp with a plain blue shade. There was a towel and some basic toiletries laid out on the bed.
Evelyn looked at Ness' with equal parts nerves and humor, excited to have a whole big room to herself and excited to have the opportunity for private adventures. Having their own rooms meant they would see different things and have more to discuss. Although admittedly, Evelyn would've liked to share the room with Ness. Still, the thought of a little privacy was welcome and she let her expression soften a little as she followed Ness’ mother.
“I hope you have everything you need,” Marijke smiled. “Let us know if not. That’s probably the extent to which we’re going to be treating you like a guest. We’re not going to make a big fuss over you being here. It doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome. It means that you very much are. We believe that home should be a place where people are relaxed, not standing on ceremony trying to please each other all the time. So, for the next two weeks, you’re one of us - we’re going to carry on as normal and you’re going to be part of that. Now, that doesn’t mean it’s just about our way. You probably have your ways of doing things - you might not want to join in everything we do. Charades is some people’s idea of living hell, and Ness mentioned you’d like time to yourself - take it whenever you want to. You’re not obliged to do anything you don’t want to do just because you believe it will make us happy as your hosts. And if there is anything you miss, anything you really want to do, tell us. We’d like to learn about the things you like doing too.” They had written the latter part of this to Ness, with a request to ask Evelyn whether there was anything in particular (food, games, people she would like to be allowed to visit) that she would particularly want as part of her Christmas. Evelyn hadn’t been sure what she’d like other than to confirm with Ness that she’d be allowed to lay low and read books sometimes, which Ness had duly passed on. Evelyn was, of course, eager for any opportunity where chocolate or brownies were involved, but didn’t feel that was an appropriate request when the McLeods were already being so kind.
She had been surprised when the woman suddenly became more direct, and recognized the loving streak that she’d seen in Ness as the same she was now seeing in the older McLeod. She listened as Ness’ mother explained. Evelyn’s stomach felt heavy. She missed her mom. She might even miss her dad a little bit. She wasn’t really sure what she was supposed to feel about any of this, except for gratefulness and a lot of sadness. If being friends with Ness had taught her anything, it was that people who cared were always worth caring about.
“Thank you so much,” Evelyn replied. She wished her voice wasn’t choked. “Normal sounds good. Even if this is not any sort of normal I’m used to. Can I…. do you like hugs at all?” Willing her watery eyes not to spill anything, she realized how nice it would be to hug a mom, even if it wasn’t her own mom.
Marijke knew that ‘just relax and be yourself’ was going to be easier said than done for Evelyn, and would check in on her needs and wants more often than she would with either of her own perfectly forthright children, but she believed in setting the bar where it should be, and then helping Evelyn work towards it. She was reassured by the fact that Evelyn gave her more than a mechanical ‘yes,’ seeming to really think through and respond to what she’d been told.
“Yes, I do,” Marijke replied to the question regarding hugs, holding her arms out.
*
Evelyn was cold. Vermont was cold, the grey morning that greeted her was cold, and her glass of water left half finished on the nightstand was cold. Somehow, Evelyn didn't mind. The McLeod house was a warm sort of place and as she stretched her chilled limbs, creaking like old floorboards as the joints opened, Evelyn found herself smiling.
Her pajamas weren't nearly thick enough for this sort of weather but one of Ness’ parents had been thoughtful enough to leave thick socks and a fleece robe on the dresser, so Evelyn forced herself across the open room and donned the items. The relief was instant. Pausing to check the mirror for anything that might get her in trouble if she left the room without changing first, Evelyn made her way into the hall and towards the kitchen. The promise of a warm drink was too compelling and she hoped to find Ness up early as well, knowing that the Aladren tended to be at Sonora. It seemed inappropriate to just walk into Ness’ room and Evelyn couldn't think of a better plan than waiting, so that's precisely what she decided on.
Except that when she reached the kitchen, she found that Ness had gotten there first.
The room was cosy, with a large range that was giving out heat into the room, and brightly coloured mugs seemed to be waging a cheerful invasion - being great consumers of both tea and coffee, there were always mugs in various stages of the Great Mug Cycle; awaiting use, pristine and clean in the cupboard, in use, queuing for the washing up, and stacked on the draining board. Of course, this was not a smooth cycle, and many mugs were pulled back out at one stage or another before ever reaching the lofty heights of the cupboard, particularly if they were favourites. The ongoing cycle, the impression of not keeping the mugs in order, was something of a necessity, as mugs were such a popular gift to tea/coffee consumers, that there were far in excess of the number that fitted into designated cupboard, and thus the stability of the system required that a certain number be in circulation at any one time. Next to the range was a chalkboard, with a little something to help Evelyn remember how to behave.
‘House rules:
1). Speak your mind 2). Ask for things you want (or get them yourself) 3). Say ‘no’ to things you don’t want’
Evelyn had ogled at the sign for what was probably too long when she’d first seen it in the kitchen the previous day. She had thought, at first, that this was the sort of chalkboard sign available in stores, and not actual rules setup for the house. However, the chalk writing was clearly authentic and Evelyn hadn’t been sure whether it was harder to believe that this was real, or harder to agree to such terms. She supposed being silent was sort of allowed, if she could use rule 3 to break rules 1 and 2 that is. At worst, she could settle into a quiet lapse and simply enjoy the bustle of the McLeod home. Now, though, she just wanted some calm.
“Good morning,” Evelyn grinned, approaching Ness and offering a small hug. “Thank you for everything,” she murmured.
Ness wasn't sure how to feel about Evelyn being at home with them. It was awesome, and cool, and exciting, and it was Christmas, so everything was supposed to be wonderful. But the reasons for her being there were sad, and Ness was not sure how Evelyn was feeling, and however Evelyn felt, what should Ness do? Was being happy and excited tasteless if Evelyn was sad, or was it bringing her into the bubble of warm excited fuzziness where people ought to be for Christmas? Whilst they’d settled into their rooms the previous day, Dad had given her a talking to about how Evelyn was vulnerable right now, and that that made it really not a good time to hit on her, and how she just needed a friend and some normality, and a reminder that the rules were if a friend was round, they could only be alone together if the door was open. Not that Ness had necessarily planned on hitting on Evelyn. Admittedly, it hadn’t been entirely ruled out up until that point… But suddenly they weren’t just Ness and Evelyn any more either, they were Ness, and Evelyn, and the whole of the McLeod-Lange-Solens family and Ness loved them all, and was happy to be with them all, but it was a lot of stuff going on, and it was hard to know how anyone was feeling about any of it, and how to react.
“You’re welcome,” Ness replied, returning Evelyn’s level of huggitude. “Did you sleep ok? Do you like it here so far?” Ness checked, a little anxiously.
Ness had always been a sincere friend and Evelyn had long-since decided that the least she could do was return the kindness. While she might normally have simply said she was good or something else similarly empty, she paused a moment to actually consider the question when Ness asked it. It felt a bit like doing a bodily safety check after jumping too far from a tree, making sure all her limbs were in the right places. She did a careful inventory of her feelings and decided that she was indeed pretty happy. She let it show in a wide smile, which she thought probably looked odd since she hadn’t put on her customary lipstick yet.
“I do,” Evelyn said. “I’m really happy to be here.” She cocked her head at her friend. “I think I’m sad, too. But mostly I’m just happy to be here.” Silence drifted in the air for a moment as she pondered Ness’ mood. It wasn’t immediately clear what her friend was feeling, but there were definitely feelings being felt and Evelyn was hardly an expert with such things. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” replied Ness, deciding that a beaming smile was appropriate in spite of Evelyn’s reported slight sadness. Her response seemed to indicate that this was all going ok - it was normal for there to be some sad feelings mixed in there, what with everything that was going on, but it didn’t seem like Evelyn was regretting her decision to run away to Ness’ house, and that was very reassuring. “I’m glad that you’re here, and that here is making you happy.”