Party Contemplations This was not quite how Lily expected a party to be when she’d first received the invitation. The flat was packed with other teenagers, the loud rap music was ringing in her ears and her head was spinning. She’d been called ‘Charlie’ multiple times – the last by a girl who tried to kiss her, whom Lily was fairly certain was this mysterious boy’s girlfriend – and everyone around her was completely sloshed, or getting there.
Lily had returned to England, dreading a dull summer, but came to realise she hadn’t lost all of her friends last winter. There were a couple Muggle girls who still wanted her friendship and, despite their very different personalities, Lily was thankful. Once the boys had left her, she’d been certain they would have chased after them, not her. Perhaps girls were more loyal than she made them out to be.
She wished she had the room to dance properly here, without girls and boys alike pressing their bodies against her in the stifling heat. If she’d brought Jozua, would they have had fun dancing together? It was much looser than pureblood or school events; neither of them would’ve known what to do. Would she have put her arms around him and jumped to the music, chest close to his, breathing in his smell? Or would they have left the party to spend time on their own?
Lily sat down on a red couch, her head feeling heavy on her shoulders. “Having fun, Lily?” asked a blonde, joining her.
“Yeah, it’s mental.”
Gretta smiled. “I know. I didn’t expect so many people to be here, but I guess Robbie decided to invite the whole school.”
“I don’t think I know who Robbie is,” said Lily, but her friend was greeting someone else. Lily sighed and looked around. It was supposed to be fun, this sort of soirée, but she didn’t know if she liked it much. Girls were acting weird and boys were acting too cool, as if they had something to prove. She would’ve liked to play sports with them outside instead of dancing and drinking in here. Lily looked for her friends, but the girls seemed occupied with certain boys so she grabbed a drink and walked out onto the terrace. There were people out there as well, so she ventured into the corridor and closed the door. It was much quieter out here. Now if only the world could stop spinning she’d be mollified.
Drink in hand, Lily sat against the wall, found stability and slid down til she was seated. She imagined her next letter to Jozua: ‘Dear Joz, I found myself at a Muggle party and realised I’m not really into it as I’d hoped I’d be. I don’t know if I’m the biggest fan of Muggles, but perhaps it’s because the way they do things is so foreign to me. I can’t seem to rightly fit in. I think this is almost as bad as one of those pureblood soirées that my cousins throw, only with fewer morals and more drinking.’
“Are you all right?” asked Gretta, head sticking out of the door, and Lily gasped in surprise.
“You scared me. Yes, I’m fine. I think I’m fine.”
“Come on, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.” Gretta tugged her arm and led her back into the furnace. She barreled through the crowd to a corner of the room where a group was standing. “Everyone, this is my friend Lily. Lily, this is Alex, Lucas and Charlie.”
“Ah, so you’re Charlie. I think everyone’s been mistaking me for you.” It was clear now why: both of them were wearing red plaid shirts with white T-shirts underneath and both had similar-coloured hair and sported similar haircuts.
Charlie grinned at her and raised his cup. “Good to finally meet my doppelgänger.”
“Likewise, mate.”
Alex was the one who caught Lily’s eye. He was tall and thin, seemed quieter and had gorgeous blue eyes. He looked out of place here, like a punk rock musician in a sea of hip hop enthusiasts. As Gretta chatted away, she kept her eye on him, hoping to be outgoing and impressive enough without losing her sense of dignity. She didn’t want to be like those other girls. As the party began winding down, the six of them – Charlie’s girlfriend included – stumbled out of the flat and into the street. Lily soon realised they were pairing off, leaving her and Alex.
“I didn’t realise they were all couples,” she said, feeling apologetic.
“Neither did I,” said Alex, looking around. He slipped his hands into his pockets. “I had fun with you tonight.”
“Yeah, me too.” Lily smiled at him. “I don’t get to hang around here much since I go to school in the States. I’m glad Gretta invited me out.”
“We should hang out again before you go, you and I.”
“What, you mean without them?” She gestured to the others, now clearly immersed in each other.
“With them, without them.” Alex shrugged and Lily glanced at Gretta. Maybe she could take a page out of her friend’s book for once. Feeling brave, Lily reached up to kiss him. It was warm and made her feel good inside as a proper first kiss ought to have. She pulled away and Alex smiled at her. “I’ll take that as a yes, then,” he said, and Lily nodded, smiling back. Then Jozua came to mind and she suddenly felt guilty.
“Can I walk you home?” asked Alex, and Lily quickly shook her head.
“No, thanks. I’m not far from here, I just need to get to the tube.”
“I’ll walk you there.”
Lily hesitated, then nodded. After another kiss at the station she sat in the underground car in silence. Taking a deep breath, she imagined penning another letter to Jozua. ‘Dear Joz, I went to this Muggle party and it was loads of fun. I met loads of new people and there was one guy named Alex—’ No. Jozua wouldn’t want to hear about him. Yes, they told each other everything, but it didn’t feel right to tell him about those sorts of things anymore. Lily sank into her seat. There was only a month left until September and Lily still didn’t know exactly how she felt about her best friend. With attractive boys she wasn’t friends with, it was easy; they made her feel nervous and excited at the same time and there weren’t years of friendship to consider. On the other hand, Jozua was her best friend and she knew him just as well as he knew her; they told each other everything and she loved and trusted him with her life. But was that enough for romance? That bit Lily still couldn’t figure out.