The Universe's Mixer

Jack was dressed to the nines tonight. Tonight was a special night, a night out on the town. He and his 'date' were slated for some marvelous activities that would certainly bring them closer together on a personal level. For such a night only his finest suit would do, hair perfectly coiffed and complexion flawless. Nothing less would do.

"Come on," he said, tucking his 'date's' arm under his own and proceeded to walk through the gardens. From here they would go for dinner and a few drinks, unless something distracted him along the way.

Under his arm, the Cher Doll was dressed to the nines as well, in a long purple mermaid gown with lavender boa. The two of them were far more prepared for a night on the red carpet than just being out on the town, but none of that mattered to Jack. He was here to attract attention to himself, to draw attention and the eyes of many.

It was going to be a glorious night.

"No. No. No." Jack said, flipping through a line of shirts on a rack. Jack McFarland was shopping. A hobby he enjoyed, but didn't indulge in with the frequency any more that he'd have liked. He was looking with disgust at each shirt on the rack before giving up with a loud sigh and moving on to another rack.

"No.. No.. Absolutely not..."

There was nothing thus far meeting his high standards of what would be allowed to grace his wardrobe, or even moreso, his person. Always perfectly coiffed, always perfectly dressed, Jack was always sure he looked his best. And he wasn't going to be able to look his best with the tripe this store was trying to pass off as fashionable.

"Dear Cher, what is that?" He said to a particularly putrid shirt that was full of purples and pinks and swirls of green. It was right awful.

Jack was rather ambivalent about Valentine's Day. He liked it, because when he had a long term significant other -long term meaning a couple weeks, he received gifts and Jack liked receiving gifts. However, when Jack was painfully alone, as he was now, it was just depressing to watch the slew of straights wander about gushing over chocolates, candies and shades of rouge. Maybe it was because he was lonely, but he stood out on the street corner, looking out over the City with a certain degree of frown on his features.

This, to be plain about it, sucked. Valentine's Day alone sucked. But Jack would endure, he always had before. He'd just order some flowers, have them delivered to himself with a mystery note attached and make it look to all around him like he was involved.

He didn't feel it at first. The shift in his emotions and a sting in his heart. He didn't notice it until his eyes caught sight of a young girl crossing is path. "Hello," he said, trying to draw her attention. Something was off, something was not right.

After taking her leave of Liandra Susan went to locate the free hostel the older woman had spoken of. She figured at worst it would give her a safe place to recover from her cold while making more stable plans in terms of housing and maybe school or a job. While walking she had bound a small pamplet that solved a few questions but caused more in her mind, was this place like the wardrobe or something like the White Witch?

"Just wish I knew where they were" she finally whispered under her breath, speaking of her brothers and sister plus Narnia friends. "Oh Aslan, please send some wise counsel that can help me understand" she whispered once more. As she walked she looked for the hostel and at the same time was trying to keep the fact she felt as miserable as she looked from showing.

The month she had spent on the rooftop shooting arrows into mobs of zombies had taken its toll via the too thin frame and her cold along with lack of sleep. But as she slipped the quiver and her bow back over her shoulder all Susan needed was a safe haven to recover and maybe a friend...

You have a camel. You have a regular sewing needle. Try to thread the needle with the camel. The hair doesn't count.

Boyd found his way through the throngs of screaming people to a quiet space. Some place away from all the blood and death and pain. Away from the zombies and all the things that he wasn't used to.

Not that he was really thinking about any of that when he did it. He just felt drawn to the place in the park that he now stood. Felt like he needed to be there. Or should be there. Or whatever the equivalent emotion a brain fried walking corpse might have, if it might be called that.

He was only alone in the park for a few minutes. Or it might have been hours. Then they started to join him. One by one. Two by two. A dozen. All like him. If he'd cared about the smell, that alone might have driven him back into the streets looking for more squirming food.

But he didn't care. And neither did any of the others, apparently. They stood, staring blankly, just as he stared blankly. Moaning occasionally. Grouping together. Huddling, almost. Being in the park as one, together.

One might say, supporting one another.

( ooc info )

Jack wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. Ever. He tended to use words and phrases to make himself look smarter than he actually was, and unfortunately, managed to convince himself that he was rather intelligent. Trouble was, he was a bit on the dim side. Which is probably why he found himself leaning against a building, grinning like a fool that someone was obsessed enough with him to not go away.

( 'Ok, I get it, you like me. But haven't you heard of a shower?' )

Jack missed Karen.

It had been months since they had last talked and there was something just not altogether right about that. They should be seeing each other nearly every day as was the way in the past. Then again, part of Jack missed Will and Grace too, though that reason he wasn't altogether certain of. Fatty and Boobless were entertaining company from time to time, they could never replace Karen.

Jack had no idea where Karen went in this City to shop, relax or even sleep. Where did she go to get her martini's? Was Rosario somewhere making them for her? The City was terribly boring. It was certainly no New York, that was for sure.

Entering another bar, Jack immediately went up to the bar and inquired of the 'tender. "Have you seen a woman about so tall? A socialite who..."

Jack didn't like waiting. He liked things to happen immediately, whether they were for him or for someone else. Especially if it was something amusing to happen to someone else, then Jack would be able to have instant gratification in his desire to laugh at whomever the amusing thing happened to.

Gratification. He giggled a little just thinking of the word.

As it stood, Jack was waiting, though he wasn't quite sure what it was he was waiting for. Just something told him he should wait, at this particular corner, at this particular time. It was a gut instinct, rather like when his inner gaydar told him if someone was of his persuasion enough to be pursued. It didn't feel like that though, it was just one of those feelings. Like when he used to barge into Will's apartment just because he knew if he did he'd probably see Grace shoveling something high in fat into her face all at once like some underfed hamster.

Then again, that could probably have been attributed more to the likelihood of finding Grace eating period, which was nearly 100%. The woman was always stuffing her face.

It was rather like waiting for a bus, except without any specific destination in mind. Just knowing that there was somewhere to go. This made it even more frustrating for Jack, who kept checking his watch and tapping is foot.

Maybe he should just go home.

"Listen," Jack said to his Cher doll, cradling it in his hands, "If they won't take us as a party of two then we'll just leave." It was a strange quirk of his, using the Cher doll and treating it as if it were real. But it was real to Jack, who venerated Cher as supreme deity in his own little world. It wasn't that people weren't taking the doll seriously that was bothering him. It was that the staff at the restaurant were refusing to acknowledge him as a party of two.

Cher Doll had to have her own chair and that was that. It didn't matter that she wouldn't be actually dining at the establishment.

That was completely irrelevant.

"I said a party of two, thankyouverymuch."

One big glorious fancy room, filled with flowers and sparkling chandeliers. A big buffet table filled with so much food it looked as if the table would crack, spilling everything everywhere. The long bar ran the entirety of one wall, and looked as if it had pretty much everything anybody could possibly ever want set up against a mirror.

It was clear that the City expected a fairly big turn out.

All the tables had note cards on them, and each note card sat in front of a chair. Each had writing scrawled on it, but only one word "Jack". No designation of which Jack should sit where.

( OOC )

"What gives? I thought the Monarch was supposed to send us an escort." 21 pulled at the leg of his yellow shorts, which had ridden up on him during the long bus ride.
"You wish," droned a weary henchman 24. "The Monarch wouldn't shell out for expanded basic cable. What makes you think he'll send us a prostitute?"
"No, an escort. Like a ride back to the cocoon so we don't have to schlep these bags all the way there. We haven't even seen the new place."
24 regarded his shorter cohort with skepticism. "Schlep? What are you, Jewish now?"
"Schlep is a good word. I'll use it if I want. I heard you say 'grok' the other day."
"'Grok' doesn't belong to a historically oppressed people."
"I beg to differ, my good man."
"Whatever. I'm gonna give the Monarch a call."
( Read more... )

After it took Jack three hours of failing to find his apartment building, being in a city that moved its layout more than Jack did the shoes in his closet was a tad annoying, he moved on to something else. But he was not happy about it. Especially when he really wanted to go home and put something a bit more stylish on. That however, was just going to have to wait until later. For now, Jack found himself intrigued by a behind that moved into the Botanical Gardens and thusly, he needed to follow it.

Anyone who possessed a behind that nice was just inviting someone to follow him. Honestly. Cross his heart and swear to Cher.

"One, yes, only one... haha, but not for long if I have anything to say about it." He said to the woman keeping track of those entering. This could be the start of a very meaningful long term relationship for him, if the gentleman's front matched his back. Or rather, complimented it. Of course, long-term for Jack was two weeks.

And two weeks was three years in gay years.

"Excuse me, pardon me... excuse you, fatty.." He weaseled and wound his way around, trying to find the one he had been looking at. The one who had initially caught his attention. "Few less donuts for you, thanks. Excuse me. Skinny gay coming through.. move it..."

The ballet, for Jack, left much to be desired. Much. Very much. An incredible amount of everything to be desired. There weren't even any decent hotties in the audience or on the stage. It was a complete and utter disappointment. The only thing more disappointing was that when the cast list for Interview With A Vampire came out and the knowledge that there would be no incredible on-screen man love. A complete disappointment.

Because of his incredibly overwhelming and compete disappointment - ballet was really going to the straights, wasn't it? - Jack sauntered into a bar, sat down, crossed his legs and ordered a frilly little drink. "Excuse me!" He slapped his hand on the table in front of where he sat, expecting service to come to him. "Yeah, hi. Yeah, you, Miss Mustache. Can I get a Cabana Boy Sunset, complete with cabana boy and a little umbrella?" Not even allowing the poor barmaid a chance to answer, he smiled, folded his hands together on the table and cocked his head toward her. "Thanks."

There was the idle thought about going home, if he could find it, and express his frustrations to what he decided was his new favorite neighbor in the history of neighbors; the Billy Idol looking fellow, Spike. A little rough around the edges and scary, but really, who wasn't scary before their first drink (and in Spike's case, probably smoke - he seemed the type to have ashtray breath) of the day. Spike just needed to get laid, then he'd be right as rain and maybe... just maybe, if he was nice, Jack would find him a lady friend.

But right now he had his Cabana Boy Sunset being set before him, complete with little green umbrella. "Hold on, excuse me... no cabana boy?" The barmaid raised an eyebrow, probably considering slapping him in her brain. "Look, whatever. Either get a wax or go back to your Three-Ring, Circus Bear." Waving her off, Jack took happily to his frilly little drink.

River stood in the wings, waiting.

A red dress flowed almost to her ankles, and her dark hair was pulled back, a red flower sitting behind one ear. Her eyes looked even larger than normal-- one of the corps de ballet girls had lined them with kohl and dark shadow. Her lips were red.

She was not River right now. This was the last night she was going to get to be Kitri.

( The ballet was in the second scene. It was time for her to enter. )

This was probably the strangest thing that had ever happened to Jack McFarland in the history of... ever. One minute, New York City and the next... wherever the hell he was. He had left his mansion (his, he earned it fair and square by spending some of Beverly's inheritance), left Karen and Rosario, only to do a little hottie hunting when the worst of all things happened.

Lesbians. Kissing.

As in all over each other. Hands on boobies and tongues and...

Jack immediately stopped his moment of remembrance to choke back a retch. Gross... lesbians. He hated them, despised them. If God had wanted women to have sex, he would have given them penises.

He had taken a wrong turn away from the disgusting duo, down and alley and suddenly... no mansion. No Karen, no Rosario and no way home. What in gay hell had just happened to him? At least he was able to get what he needed: an apartment, clothes, food, decor that didn't belong in the dumpster behind K-mart. While the idea of maybe not seeing Karen again was depressing, that wasn't going to keep Jack down for long. There was a certain freedom to being all alone in an apartment again. Not nearly as fabulous as the mansion (tshaw, like it could ever be), but it was his.

Which of course meant that the stereo was on as loud as it would go and Cher was on constant repeat.

"No matter how hard I try... You keep pushing me aside and I cant break through... Theres no talking to you"

He danced, he sang, he did a somersault on his couch landing perfectly on his feet in the center of the living room and above all else - he had a turkey baster for a microphone. Jack didn't know a turkey baster was, but it looked like it was used for inseminating lesbians. Again, gross... but it was a great microphone and he needed on.

"Its so sad that you're leaving, It takes time to believe it. But after all said and done, you're gonna be the lonely one, ohhh.. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER LOVE.."