In the Time of Awakening, the philosopher, Surak, came out of the desert and brought change to all of Vulcan. He proposed a life of logic as a means for ending the brutal warring between the clans. He offered a means for uniting the people of the planet as one. He was a force of reason against hatred and violence and brutality. But peace could not exist without a final battle. There was a group who opposed the teachings of Surak. Surak referred to these lost souls as those who marched beneath the raptor's wings
. The last war on Vulcan was fought between the followers of Surak and the opposition. In the end, the opposition fled the planet, colonizing another, light years away, and continuing the emotion-driven life that the rest of Vulcan vowed to keep in their past.
Spock, being half-human, understood what it must have been like for those dissidents. The struggle for control of one's own emotions was difficult enough, but when in the company of others who were driven by feelings, it was nearly impossible. The more time he spent on the Enterprise, the more he could feel himself losing his logic. What worried him was that it was almost a relief. He felt as though he had been burdened by the hardships of his ancestors. And he had two competing set of ancestors to be burdened with.
The path of his father's people was one of peace and control. The path of his mother's people was one of curiosity and the thirst for knowledge. His training on his home planet taught him to submerge his desires to follow his human path, that, in the end, it would only cause him pain and suffering. But where was he now? An adult. A man of two worlds. And having chosen the Vulcan side, he was still experiencing pain and suffering.( He needed balance. )