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Dinah Lance ([info]i_crylikeabird) wrote in [info]we_coexist,
@ 2012-03-31 12:33:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:dinah lance, stand still, zatanna zatara

Conversations (Zatanna)
Dinah hadn't meant to put off talking to Zatanna about resigning from the League. She really hadn't. However, it was a conversation that she wasn't looking forward to. She was a little bit worried that Zatanna would try to talk her out of it, and perhaps a bit worried that she wouldn't.

She knew it was the right decision, but it still hurt to make it all the same.

She had brought a peace offering of Chinese food and wine and was hoping for a bit of time with her friend on top of the unhappy conversation that they would have to have.

She'd told her friend that she was coming and now she knocked on the door to Shadowcrest and tried to ignore the feeling that the house was watching her with interest.



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[info]i_kaeps
2012-03-31 08:12 pm UTC (link)
The door was whipped open and Zee reached out to grab Dinah's arm and dragged her in. "Ohmygodsgetinhere!" She didn't sound panicked or like she was under attack. This was the 'I've got hot gossip' voice.

Zee had left Shadowcrest to let Jack sleep. A look through his cell phone and revealed a list of things that needed Jack's attention. Some of them she couldn't have done because it required a mayoral touch, but some of them she could and she spent the time Jack was sleeping doing what she could. By the time she got back he had been awake and gone, and she had returned his cell phone to his office as only she could.

Then she'd had a bit of a meltdown.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-03-31 09:19 pm UTC (link)
Dinah was distracted from her reason for visiting by the excitement in Zatanna's voice. She didn't fight being pulled into the house and instead waited for her friend to get the door closed behind them.

She held up the Chinese food and wine and waved them at the mystic.

"Hungry?"

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-03-31 09:29 pm UTC (link)
"Yes, but.." she grabbed the wine from Dinah then started pushing her friend towards the kitchen. They'd spent many a time in that kitchen talking about everything and everyone. This was going to be another one of those times. "Wine first. Go, already! I need to tell you something."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-03-31 09:34 pm UTC (link)
In spite of her low spirits, Dinah did laugh. She hurried into the kitchen and found a corkscrew to open the wine. She waited for Zatanna to get out the glasses.

"I need to tell you something too," she said. "But you go first."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-03-31 09:36 pm UTC (link)
"Damn right me first!" She set the bottle on the table and went to the cabinets to get the wine glasses. They were the cheap ones with the kittens on them that she saved for just these kinds of conversations.

"I ran into Jack. And didn't punch him." She chuckled as she put the glasses on the table as well. "He actually kept me from cracking my skull on the pavement."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-03-31 09:40 pm UTC (link)
Dinah poured a glass for each of them and offered one to Zatanna before taking a few sips out of hers. She frowned at the mention of the Mayor.

"Jack? As in the mayor? What happened?" she asked.

She didn't personally hold anything against the mayor, though she knew that Zee had taken it very personally. She couldn't blame her. Dinah wasn't happy with the man's stance on superheroes, but he'd never been a friend like he had to Zatanna.

So the turnaround right now was surprising.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-03-31 09:44 pm UTC (link)
She took a sip of the wine, almost buzzing with this news. "He apologized! To me!" She waited for Dinah's reaction to that. Zee didn't have blood under her fingernails so the mayor obviously still lived.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-03-31 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Dinah's eyebrows rose in surprise, though she did smile a bit at the happiness radiating off of the mystic. She thought that Zatanna had certainly deserved an apology and she'd been fighting the urge to have a 'talk' with the mayor about his views as well as his careless treatment of someone who had shown him friendship, but then of course quite a lot had happened to sidetrack her.

"Wow," she said, shaking her head slightly. "That's a good thing. I take it you accepted the apology?"

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-03-31 09:51 pm UTC (link)
"Yes." She pulled out a carton of food from the bag to look through what Dinah brought. "But only because he said he wanted to talk to you about the City working with the League. Oh! Crab rangoon!"

She made her claim and sat down. "This is great news!"

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-03-31 09:54 pm UTC (link)
Damnit. If that wasn't an opening, Dinah didn't know what was. She really hated to rain on Zatanna's parade.

"Um, about the League." she sighed. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Maybe we should sit?"

She took a seat and could only hope that Zatanna would follow. Of course, she really did not want to be sitting. Not if the conversation was going to get heated. There was already a part of her that mentally had one foot ready to dash out the door.

Telling everyone else had been difficult. She'd felt like she was letting them all down, but Zee... this was the worst.

All the same, she was afraid that if she stayed she would really let them all down.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-03-31 09:58 pm UTC (link)
"What about it?" Zee took a seat and opened up the nummy fried crab stuff. "This could be a good thing. If Jack wants us to work with the City we won't be considered criminals anymore, and I know I for one would like to not have to dodge cops if the streets go back to jumping around."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 03:29 am UTC (link)
Dinah nodded her agreement. It could be a very good thing. She just... couldn't be a part of it.

"I'm resigning," she forced herself to blurt out. "From the League. I just... I have no business being a part of it right now."

She took another healthy drink of the wine and tried not to cringe as she anticipated the reaction.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 03:33 am UTC (link)
Everything in Zee's head came screeching to a halt and fell over the cliff. She stared at Dinah with her mouth parted in open shock.

"...what?"

No. No, no, no! Damn it!

"Look if this is about Dean..."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 03:46 am UTC (link)
"About Dean? Why would this be about Dean?" Dinah asked, blinking in surprise.

She shook her head.

"No. I made a bad call bringing him to that meeting. I should have taken into account the personality clashes involved. But no, this isn't about that."

She sighed and took another drink from her glass.

"I'm not thinking clearly lately. Not since Jake..." she bit her lip, not wanting to finish that thought.

"When you mentioned that you wanted to be bait for Eric, my first thought was that I couldn't lose anyone else. I wasn't thinking about what strategy would be the best and I wasn't thinking about anything but keeping everyone I care about out of danger. I keep on with things as they are, someone's going to get hurt because I make a bad call."

Her confidence was severely shaken. It was more than her judgment after losing Jake, though she wouldn't say that. It had been a long time since someone had made her feel powerless like Eric had done. She was doubting her abilities as well as whether or not she could think clearly.

"I'm sorry."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 03:55 am UTC (link)
Oh stars! Her heart went out to Dinah hearing that. She couldn't blame Dinah one bit. She got up from her chair to go to Dinah and wrapped her arms around her.

"Don't be sorry. I understand." It sucked. She wasn't sure what would happen to the League now, but she understood and couldn't ask anything more of Dinah.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 04:16 am UTC (link)
A few tears slid down Dinah's cheeks, but she returned the hug.

"Thanks, Zee. I'm going to try to..." she bit her lip. "I'm going to try to get my head straight. I don't want to walk away forever."

She didn't think she could turn her back on it forever. It was too much a part of her.

Without being the Black Canary... she felt lost, drifting. It was so much a part of her that she wasn't sure who she was going to be or what she would do while she got her head straight.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 04:23 am UTC (link)
She nodded before she turned her head to kiss Dinah on the cheek. "Do what you have to for yourself. I'll still be here for whenever you need."

She knew Dinah wasn't the type to do the cuddle and cry for very long so she let go and retook her seat. "Have you told the others yet?"

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 04:54 am UTC (link)
Dinah nodded. She gave Zee an apologetic look.

"Telling you was always going to be the hardest for me, so I told everyone else first. Sort of... practice runs, I guess?"

She shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure Ollie would have suggested or insisted on it if I hadn't brought it up first. Hank and Jensen were understanding. Think I might have to learn how to check my email since Jensen said something about sending me things that way."

She really loathed computers. She'd gotten enough rolled eyes and nags about learning computers that she knew she really ought to, but she was pretty stubborn when it came to certain things.

"I suppose I should probably tell Jen too. I was the one who gave her the communicator and asked her to be our police contact. I owe that to her."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 05:10 am UTC (link)
Zee will have to talk to Ollie and fast. She knew Batman wouldn't step up to the plate and lead the League. He wouldn't even acknowledge being a part of it. Zee didn't want to lead. She didn't think she was qualified. She really doubted Jensen or Hank wanted to, which left Ollie. Spit and swagger, Ollie. Sigh.

She chuckled for the computer thing as she took a sip of wine. "I can show you, and it'll give you a reason to keep seeing me instead of hiding away with Mr. Machoman Dean Winchester." Zee hadn't forgotten that hand holding thing.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 05:15 am UTC (link)
Dinah had just taken a sip of her wine and almost choked on it. When she managed to start breathing again, she fixed Zee with a surprised stare.

"I'm sorry, hiding away with who?"

Oh, she'd heard all right, but she was just...

She shook her head.

"Have you been talking to Ollie? Because you two seem to be jumping to the same conclusions."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 05:18 am UTC (link)
"Sweety, you came in holding his hand and didn't let go for the first five minutes." She chuckled with a wry smirk and shook her head. "It was kind of obvious."

No accounting for taste, though Zee can't really throw stones there. She dated John Constantine for a long time and he was pretty universally despised.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 05:41 am UTC (link)
Dinah took another sip of the wine and then shook her head vehemently. Yes, there had been hand holding, but it had been... friendly hand holding. Because they were friends.

That was it.

She'd grabbed his hand because she'd wanted him to feel comfortable, and because she'd been a little bit nervous about going back to the team herself and she'd... She winced. If Zee and Ollie were jumping to conclusions, Dean might be jumping too conclusions himself. Which could make things awkward between them. He had other things going on, and things with them worked best because they were platonic.

She was starting to think that platonic friendships were pretty much the way to go period. Dating always ended badly. Always. Even when catching a glimpse of the guy's soul and knowing he was a good man.

Even then.

"We're just friends. We don't even... the handholding was kind of a fluke. We don't do that normally. At all," she corrected herself. "We don't hold hands at all. Except that one time. I don't really know what that was all about, but it wasn't what it looked like."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 05:51 am UTC (link)
She watched Dinah have her reaction then go through her thought process. Maybe they were and maybe they weren't. If you had asked Zee she'd say they were in the beginning of the were and still in denial. She didn't like Dean...at all...but if he made Dinah smile then she could be charitable.

Dinah was denying it though so Zee held up her hands in a surrender pose and chuckled. "If you say so."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 05:05 pm UTC (link)
Zatanna clearly didn't believe her. Dinah shook her head slightly and drank a bit more of the wine before digging into the Chinese food.

"He's seeing someone else. Dean, I mean. a few someones, actually."

Her voice was mostly even, because she had convinced herself that it didn't bother her a bit.

She shrugged.

"I'm not really in any shape to even consider dating right now anyway."

The thought of getting lost in someone right now-having a shoulder to cry on and someone to snuggle up to when she needed it-that was very very tempting, but she also knew that it wouldn't be healthy. Depending on someone like that to take her mind off things, to carry her when she very clearly needed it.. it wouldn't be a healthy start to the relationship and it wasn't what she needed. She didn't know how she was going to get through her grief or her loss of confidence in her abilities, but she knew that she needed to find a way to do that herself. She could lean on her friends while she did that but stating up a new relationship was a very bad idea.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 05:12 pm UTC (link)
"God, he sounds like your version of John." John pissed off all of her friends. Dean pissed off Zee. John screwed around. Dean screwed around. And regardless of how much Dinah protested it was obvious something was there.

She reached across the table to put her hand on Dinah's wrist and gave her friend a gentle smile. "Take it from me. Don't push him away if he comes around trying to help. Okay?"

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 05:32 pm UTC (link)
Dinah never had liked John, so her first instinct was to open her mouth and defend Dean against the comparison before she got what Zatanna was trying to say. While John had pushed just about everyone's buttons, he'd meant a lot to her.

Dinah still thought Dean was a great deal better than Constantine, but she could see things from Zatanna's point of view. It seemed as though she and Dean were constantly clashing on things and pushing each other's buttons.

She gave her friend a small smile.

"I won't. There are times when.." she sighed. "I know that he hasn't been the nicest to you and I just... I don't get it honestly. But to me he's just always been there. Rubbed me the wrong way at first too though," she said with a small smile.

In fact, the first time they'd met she'd ended up shouting at him and the second meeting had been a little bit exasperating as well.

"But he just seems to have this way of being there when I need him, in the way that I need him to be."

She shrugged.

"I wouldn't want to screw that up by trying to make it more than it's supposed to be. Especially given my track record with relationships."

There was a small self-deprecating smile before she dug into the sweet and sour chicken.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 05:37 pm UTC (link)
"Hey." Dinah's wrist got another squeeze. "If he makes you smile then he's okay in my book. That's what's important."

She meant it too. A lot of her friends tolerated John because he made her happy...most..okay some of the time. She had always appreciated that, so far be it from her to warn Dinah away from Dean just because Zee thought he was a argumentative, bossy and arrogant piece of shit who if he hurts her friend she will gladly string up the City flagpole by his short hairs.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 05:53 pm UTC (link)
Dinah gave her friend a warm smile.

"Thanks, Zee. I appreciate that. I won't be asking you two to work together anytime soon and dating anyone right now is off the menu, but I do appreciate it."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 05:57 pm UTC (link)
That was good to see. Zee was satisfied. "Just take care of you and call me if you ever want to blow off some steam." She'd handle the League stuff. Talk to Ollie and the others. See what they wanted to do.

"Meanwhile," she got that impish look back on her face. "Shadowcrest threw a book at Jack's head."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-01 09:53 pm UTC (link)
Dinah couldn't help but laugh at the mental image that generated. She looked around the house and nodded.

"Nice going, Shadowcrest." She glanced at Zee. "Was this before or after he apologized?"

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-01 10:07 pm UTC (link)
"After." She chuckled as she nibbled on a piece of crab rangoon. "And I accepted his apology. He's sincere about making nice with us, and he apologized for hurting me." She arched a brow to see what Dinah's reaction to that would be.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-02 01:41 am UTC (link)
Dinah's brows knit together with concern. She wasn't so quick to forgive someone who had hurt one of her friends. She did like to think the best of people but she was also cautious when it came to the people she cared about.

"So he seemed genuine about it? Are you going to see him again? Or are you going to wait and see how the talk goes with..."

She bit her lip before she said 'with whoever takes over leading the League.'

She certainly hoped that would happen soon, but it was still hard to think about stepping down and about being replaced. She was sure that whoever replaced her would do a better job and take care of her former team, but that didn't make it any easier to think about just now.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-02 02:01 am UTC (link)
She almost cringed for that. Initially she'd have said it would depend on how it went with him talking to Dinah. Things have changed.

"Probably." She gave Dinah a gentle smile. "The man's hardly taking care of himself. He hadn't eaten or slept in who knew how long so I made sure he got both while I went and took care of a few things he needed to do for the City."

She knew how it sounded, but it really wasn't that way. "I told him that was something the League did too, not just fight monsters. I wanted to prove it."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-02 02:52 am UTC (link)
Dinah gave Zatanna a proud smile. While she was good at solving things with her fists, she also strongly believed that a lot of problems could be solved without violence. She always tried the nonviolent approach if it was a possibility.

So hearing about what Zee had done did make her proud of her friend.

"Sounds like you proved your point pretty well then. That should help the talk that he's going to have with the leader of the League too."

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-02 03:13 am UTC (link)
Yeah, whoever that was going to be. She'd need to talk to Ollie and fast.

"I haven't actually told him what I did yet. He was gone by the time I got back and I teleported his cell phone back to his office." She shrugged her shoulders. "But I was planning on calling him soon. Make sure he wasn't undoing all the good some food and sleep did."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-03 01:05 am UTC (link)
Dinah tried to bite down on a knowing smile. She had a few guesses about why Zee might be extra concerned about the mayor, though she just hoped that things went well with his talks with the League. Not just for Zatanna's sake, though that was part of it.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-03 01:13 am UTC (link)
"What?" She eyed Dinah for that look without comment. Something was running through that dyed blonde head that she wasn't saying.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-03 01:59 am UTC (link)
Dinah just shook her head, though there was a small smile on her lips all the same.

"Nothing," she denied.

Her smile faded a bit.

"Will you tell me how things go? With the talk with Jack, and whoever you all decide to lead?"

She still wanted to hear about how things were going with the team. She still wanted them to thrive after all.

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[info]i_kaeps
2012-04-03 02:19 am UTC (link)
She didn't trust that small smile one bit and she narrowed her eyes in wry suspicion.

Any torturous questioning she was about to give Dinah to make her spill fled as she saw Dinah's smile drift away. She reached across the table to grip her friend's wrist. "Yes, of course. We aren't cutting you out."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2012-04-04 01:22 am UTC (link)
Dinah leaned over and gave Zatanna a hug. She squeezed her tightly, glad for the reassurance. Not that she'd actually thought they would, but there was a part of her that felt like she was cutting herself off from just about everything and everyone that was important to her.

"Thanks, Zee."

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