InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Come on, you're the psychic."

Winifred "Fred" Burkle (i_figure) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2012-03-29 18:43:00

Entry tags:

jake jensen, stand still, winifred burkle

We need to talk...take 2 (Jensen)
Dinner had been nice for the most part. Fred had tried not to prolong it more than it needed to be, but she really didn't want what was coming next. She had a feeling it was going to be a very uncomfortable time, when all she wanted was nice and cuddly. After cleaning up the mess they made of Hank's lab, not that it had been much, she went with Jake to his apartment.

She felt a little uncomfortable as she stood just inside the door. Her body itched a little from wanting to take a shower; it was the usual feeling after being beaten up and mended. She was glad there was a doctor near by, and she knew she couldn't just hop in the shower quite yet. Actually she wasn't sure she could do it very well with how her side hurt.

"So, did you see my bruise?" Fred gave him a proud little smile. "I don't think I got too burnt." She glanced at herself, knowing the scorch marks were here and there. She was delaying, just a little longer.

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i_figure
2012-03-30 12:46 am UTC (link)

Fred winced that he actually had questions, but she supposed she would have questions as well. Questions were how this sort of thing worked. Her hands folded together as she waited, and then. She looked a little confused.

"Sleep with who?" The 'him' was a little confusing. There were two that could upset him, then she sighed, shaking her head. "No. Not Eric. Not Jack. I haven't slept with anyone for a very long time."

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	i_chatter 2012-03-30 12:48 am UTC (link)
	"Did you want to?" He followed up with that quickly. He didn't care about Mayor McDouchy, as Zatanna called him. He wasn't a threat. Not in Jensen's mind. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_figure
2012-03-30 01:02 am UTC (link)

"I'm not really sure what that has to do with us." Fred blinked. "I hadn't seen him for a while before you showed up. Not sure why it matters if I did or didn't." She looked confused.

"Yes. No." Fred sighed. "I was attracted to him, but I turned him down when he made advances." She looked at the comms commander, her head tilting. "I didn't want to be...I didn't want to be just some chick. Some stupid human humping a vampire because he's pretty. It would have meant nothing, and I as sexed up as I might have gotten, he really wasn't the one I wanted to have sex with." Sure, there were the dreams, but when she was conscious, it was a different story.

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	i_chatter 2012-03-30 01:08 am UTC (link)
	His expression had gone a bit more stern when she questioned why he wanted to know, but he didn't give her an answer. Her bluntness hurt, but it was necessary and he wanted the truth. All of it. "Tell me what you think when you see him." He kept his voice quiet, gentle. "If he were to walk in right now." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_figure
2012-03-30 01:24 am UTC (link)

"Why do you want to do this? What good will this do?" Fred looked at him, brows furrowed. "And, how come you get to ask all the questions? Hmm? This isn't talking, this is a bizarre interrogation. You know that, right?" Her lips pulled slightly as she was certainly not happy. She sighed though. She was going to answer the question.

"Nothing at first. Then I start thinking about the blood, how I feel about myself before, during, and after drinking it. I think about how I hid it. How if I was actually okay with it, I wouldn't hide it. I think about how it wasn't bad, but it was bad. Rationalization is easy when you can make logic work for you. I think that, too. I think about how I'm certainly not that important, so why is he bothering with giving me blood? It meant he would know how I feel, if I was in danger. It meant he knew things, and I didn't understand why he would want that. I still don't. Other than he thought I was useful, but not sure what. All this. And, now and then, I'd think why do I have to think so much. Sometimes, I really don't like all the thinking I do." She wondered if that had answered the question.

"I'd also wonder why he was here. Right now. It wouldn't make any sense for him to be here, seeing as I told him 'no,' that I didn't want to do that anymore." She didn't look around for Eric. She just looked at Jake's face.

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i_chatter
2012-03-30 02:28 am UTC (link)

He frowned immediately for her protest and straighted from his crouch to pace away, wiping his hand over his face again to keep himself from barking at her. He listened as she continued but kept from looking at her.

The picture she was painting of this guy made Jensen hate him more. He recognized the type. They said he was really old. God, had manipulators and power trips really been around that long? Nothing ever changed even as the world did, apparently, and she really didn't get it.

He stopped with his back to her, silent for a moment then glanced back over his shoulder. "Can he still sense you now?"

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i_figure
2012-03-30 02:45 am UTC (link)

Fred sighed softly as he started pacing again. This was not going well, not even close, or so she would guess from his reaction. She watched him a few moments before glancing down at her hands. Well, she didn't remember doing that to her knuckle.

"I don't know." She poked at the darkening bruise before looking up at him. "I only know that he could. It's not permanent. I know how it makes me feel isn't. I know how it makes me look doesn't. So, why it should allow him to sense me permanently..." She shrugged. "I would guess it all stops around the same time."

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i_chatter
2012-03-30 03:28 am UTC (link)

He turned back around to look at her. His heart was kind of all over his face and it looked messy and not at all feeling very good, but there was a seriousness in his eyes. This hadn't really reassured him much.

"I'm going to explain something and whether or not you get it..." he couldn't finish that and broke off with a sigh. This was the make it or break it. "We'll still be friends but this is important."

He walked back towards her but didn't crouch in front of her again. Nor did he loom over her, he just didn't want this to be cold seeming. "When you told me that you quit it for me that's a lot of pressure because how am I supposed to feel if for some reason you and me didn't work and you went back to the blood?"

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i_figure
2012-03-30 03:43 am UTC (link)

Fred watched him, her brows furrowed. Then he said that. She looked down at her hands, blinking as she finally felt the pain. She'd been pressing on the bruised knuckle; at least it wasn't a cut of some sort. She didn't say anything, or yell. She was hurt that he had made it about himself, and she could sort of see why. But, he didn't seem to understand. She just watched her finger rub, not press, the bruise, tracing the discolored edges of it.

"I can see how that can be a pretty big thing. I can see why that could make you angry or scared. Being someone's reason for anything is a lot of responsibility. That makes sense." She didn't look up at him. "But, you weren't the only reason, you were part of it. Or more how I feel about you was. Maybe a little of both. Only...you weren't there." She looked up at him.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but you do realize you shut me out, just like that. You answered your own question, by shutting down. I didn't go looking for him. I was angry, and sad, and I felt very unwanted. But, I wasn't going to go looking for him either. I told him 'no.'" She bit her lip; she didn't want to start crying. "I can't live a life on a lie, and not telling people, hiding it, was a lie. I was lying to myself about a lot, and I didn't want that. Just, I thought you should know. I thought of all the people who should know a secret about me, it should be you. I'm not proud of it, but I needed you to know."

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i_chatter
2012-03-30 03:48 am UTC (link)

He nodded, feeling a little like a speck of dirt under a shoe to see her that upset, but he had to make sure she understood as well as her reasoning for walking away from the blood and Vlad Von Douchebag.

"I know I did, and I'm sorry." His voice and expression was sincere. "I was hurt, angry and I didn't understand what was going on. In case you hadn't noticed I'm a guy and when we get confused emotionally we become pretty stupid about what points we argue."

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i_figure
2012-03-30 04:00 am UTC (link)

"It's not just a guy thing. Everyone does, unless they've got a prepared debate or someone's writing for them. You get the questions ahead of time, you'll be okay with the tricky parts. Too bad life's not that way." Fred gave him a very small smile; it didn't get rid of the tears that had formed, but she gave him a smile anyway.

"So, are we okay?" She didn't know what else they could say. "Or do you have any other questions?" She didn't look mad, just a little tired and in a little bit of pain. She hadn't gotten the pain pills the doctor had prescribed yet.

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	i_chatter 2012-03-30 12:09 pm UTC (link)
	"We're not okay, Fred." If they were they wouldn't be having this conversation, but his voice was gentle. He crossed the distance between them and crouched down again, wrapping his hands loosely around hers as he looked up into her face. "But I want us to try to be." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_figure
2012-03-31 12:52 am UTC (link)

Fred's lips thinned, brows furrowing a little. She sighed softly and nodded. Her fingers curled under his as she smiled slightly; she wasn't pulling away. There was a slight nod.

"That's better than not at all." She smiled a little more; one hand pulled from under his to rest on top of his. She gave a soft squeeze as she leaned slowly and carefully forward to place kiss on his lips.

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i_chatter
2012-03-31 03:18 pm UTC (link)

He smiled against the kiss and brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. This time they would need to move a little more slowly, be more aware of each other's feelings. He thinks he can do that, and he's fairly certain Fred could too. If he didn't he wouldn't be willing to try.

He broke the kiss only to kiss the tip of her nose. "Way better than not at all." He smiled at her and gave her hand a squeeze. "But right now you need to take those pain meds and get some rest."

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i_figure
2012-03-31 11:01 pm UTC (link)

"And clothes that don't smell like I smell." Fred pouted as she sat back, wincing a little as she did so. She didn't pull her hands away from him; her head tilted slightly.

"Do I have pain meds? I thought he gave me a prescription." She was slipping quickly to the curl up and die a little phase of the evening. "Is it okay if I just curl up on your couch for a little bit? I'll call a cab to go home if you want." She really didn't want to put him out.

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	i_chatter 2012-03-31 11:08 pm UTC (link)
	"I can do better than a couch." He stood up and tugged on her hands to get her to stand up. "You know where the shower is. I can go out and get your prescription filled while you clean up. Then you can crash in my room. There's some sweats and a tshirt that might be a bit big on you but you're welcome to them." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_figure
2012-03-31 11:39 pm UTC (link)

Fred moved easily and willingly enough. She nodded with a soft sigh. Shower and sleep, sleep and shower. She was more than happy to do that.

"I don't mind couch and just sitting, honest." She smiled slightly before stepping closer to give him a hug, just a little lean against him. "Thank you, Jake." She didn't ask him to come snuggle; she wasn't even sure if that was something they did at the moment. Shower and sleep.

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i_chatter
2012-04-01 12:08 am UTC (link)

He put his arms around her to hug her against him then kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome." He put his cheek against her hair for a moment feeling himself a little on edge. Beginnings were a weird time, kind of scary, but exciting all the same.

After a few moments he let her go, stepping back with a small smile. "Give me the prescription and I'll go get it filled for you."

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i_figure
2012-04-01 12:18 am UTC (link)

Fred was more than happy to stay where she was for a little while. She snuggled as much as she could before he broke it off.

"Thank you." She might have said it, but she was a firm believer in giving thanks. She dug around in her pocket, handing the paper over, before she started toward the bathroom. A quick shower, clean clothes, and then sleep. Yes, that was definitely a good plan.

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