Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You expect too much."

Jennifer Government (i_rebel) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2012-03-20 20:07:00

Entry tags:

dean winchester, jennifer government, stand still

Honesty (Dean)
Jennifer had known previous to her talk with Charlie that she needed to talk to Dean about what was going on, but hearing her partner say those words propelled her forward in her actions. She'd finally been able to talk about what had happened with Simon, admit it to herself, really, and now she thought was the best time to get the truth out to Dean, too.

She was really not looking forward to it. To what he might say and how he might react. She really should have told him when they started, or very soon after. She had no idea what his feelings toward her were.

Not considering her actions when she decided to ask him to meet her in a public place, and what that might mean if it were in reverse, Jennifer sat in the coffee shop and stared at her phone. She wasn't used to things not moving, and being able to give exact directions to where she was. It was part of the reason why she'd been hesitating so long.

Finally, she sent off the text.

Hey, was wondering if you'd meet me. I'm in the coffee shop on fifth. It hasn't moved in twenty minutes.

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 03:22 am UTC (link)

Dean had considered going to Fred, having a talk with her. He knew the girl had a brain and more info than some databases it seemed. She knew shit, and he wanted to know why she hadn't been part of that fiasco; in a small way, he was glad she wasn't there. Few people who had experienced that the better. So, when he got the text, he was able to put off what was probably going to be a very awkward discussion.

Be there in 10 or 15. The fact that the City wasn't moving meant that he didn't have to worry about the shop moving any time soon.

He was soon parked on the side of the street, in the time he had said. He probably could have walked it, but he did like driving his baby around as much as possible. He climbed out and headed in, looking very comfortable. For all he knew it was a coffee and booty call, which he was cool with. If she looked up, she'd see the usual knowing smirk on his lips. He could do with the distraction this meeting could bring.

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 03:28 am UTC (link)

Jennifer saw the car pull up. It was kind of a strange sensation. She expected him, and she was able to watch him arrive. It unnerved her, really. It was creepy and wrong.

When she saw the smirk, her stomach fell. He looked hopeful.

She got out a small smile of her own, but it was gone almost as quickly. This was going to go so badly.

"Hey." She said as he got closer.

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 03:34 am UTC (link)

"Hey." Dean looked down at the table. "Trying to stay awake for something?" A hint of a brow lift suggested the hunter had a few ideas, and that the coffee really wasn't necessary. He claimed a seat without asking; she had invited him after all.

"How are you? Something's on your mind." He'd seen bigger smiles on her lips before, so something was certainly wrong. Or something was bothering her, and he was more than willing to help whatever was bothering go away. For a little while if not forever. He was a good guy like that.

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 03:37 am UTC (link)

"I... need to talk to you." She flipped over one of the other cups waiting and filled it with coffee. She'd ordered the full carafe because she wanted something to do with her hands. Something that could take her attention, because she felt guilty just looking at him.

"It's a serious thing. I wish it weren't a serious thing, but it is." Why couldn't she just say it? She'd always been mature and adult like. Why now of all times did she have to become this stuttering child?

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 03:41 am UTC (link)

The smile faded. Talking serious was a bad thing. It could mean so many things, but they were all bad. He couldn't think of one thing she could say that was good. So, when she was done with the coffee, Dean did the same thing. Turned his cup over and filled it. He didn't add anything to it, but he did look around for a waiter. If he was going to talk serious, he might as well do it with pie. When he didn't see anyone, he focused on her again.

"Okay, spill, Government. What's got you talking round it?" She was more of a straight to the point person, wasn't she?

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 03:45 am UTC (link)

She chewed her lip while he poured his own cup of coffee, unsure why he was looking around. She hoped he wasn't trying to get waitstaff attention, she didn't want to be interrupted. Once she started this, she wanted it over with as soon as it could be. No flow broken.

"Because I feel really bad." Finally, Jennifer looked up at Dean. Oh, he was such an attractive man. Which made her think of how good he was in bed. Which for some reason circled back to how nice he was. "You see."

If he'd just not been so nice. If he'd just been the casual, happy go lucky prick he so pretended to be.

"I've been using you." Jennifer paused. "For sex."

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 03:50 am UTC (link)

Dean was about to lift his cup to his lips, even though he knew the coffee was too hot. He was going to take a sip, and thankfully, he hadn't. Instead, he set the cup down on table, watching the coffee in it slosh softly back and forth. He stared at that dark liquid as he let what she said sink in. He stared a little longer as he worked out how he should react.

"You've been using me," Dean's pause almost mimicked hers perfectly, but lacked any mocking tone. "For sex?" He glanced up at her. His lips twitched slightly, and he looked as if he wanted to say more. Yet, he wasn't sure what to say. What he could say that wouldn't insult her because apparently she thought she needed to have a serious conversation about this topic.

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 03:57 am UTC (link)

Jennifer knew that this would be his initial reaction. He wouldn't think it was that big of a deal. It wasn't, if that was the end of it. She caught his lip twitch.

"If that was the end of it, it would be fine, I agree. If it was just sex, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and I wouldn't be sitting here now."

She pictured Charlie in her mind, his kind face. That kind, stern face telling her that she needed to talk to Dean about this. It helped her move forward.

"But it's because of Simon." With a deep breath, Jennifer continued the story, recounting what had happened, leaving out nothing. Right up to the whys of why the things had happened with Dean. It sounded more cruel to her saying it to Dean than it had saying it to Charlie.

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 04:05 am UTC (link)

"Oh." Dean had listened to her, watched her, even felt for her. He was the rebound guy, which actually was something of a first for him. He had been the fling, the other guy who didn't know he was the other guy; he'd been the one night stand, the last hooray. But, he'd never been anywhere long enough to be a rebound. "Okay."

He finally lifted the coffee to his lips and took a sip, thinking. She'd put it all out there, and he supposed he could have left it there. He was very much in favor of just leaving it there, but there was a hint of guilt, as if he owed her something. She'd just admitted that she was using him for sex after all.

"So, was it a good distraction?" He smirked for a moment before taking another sip and setting the cup down. "Did it help?"

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	i_rebel 2012-03-21 04:23 am UTC (link)
	"Well. Yeah. Or I wouldn't have continued..." Jennifer was about to apologize again, but she noticed the look on his face. It wasn't angry like she'd expected. People didn't smirk when they were angry. She couldn't even really tell if he was upset at all. Which was not the way she had expected it to go. "You're not mad?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_soldieron
2012-03-21 04:31 am UTC (link)

"I can get mad if you'd like, but no, not mad." Dean smiled almost softly at her. "I can't be mad at you for doing something like that, not when I guess you could say I was doing the same thing." The smile faded.

"I really don't want to get into specifics, and you can get mad at me if you want about that. Let's just say I was going through a really rough patch and needed the company of a good woman." A few good women. "Good in this case means no slouch in the bed."

He looked at her then sighed. "So, yeah. I'm not mad."

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 04:34 am UTC (link)

"No, I prefer the not mad." Jennifer admitted.

She wasn't mad about what he said, either. Maybe some women would be, despite what had just been confessed being pretty much the same thing. But some women were really irrational.

Jennifer nodded.

"I guess we were there for each other when we needed it." She smiled, this time it was a real smile and stayed put. "I'm okay with that. Actually, I'm pretty grateful for that."

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 04:37 am UTC (link)

Dean smiled at her smile, and he gave her a wink. Not at all minding how this worked out. It wasn't that he was enlightened, but he wasn't so much an asshole that he'd get upset over something he was doing himself. At least not today anyway.

"Sounds like it. Think I'll take it. Glad you're okay with it too." He actually did relax, not having realized he wasn't. He leaned back in the chair and looked at her. "So, what prompted the confession? Just afraid of thinking I might be in this for something serious?" He'd know the dinner had been unexpected, but he did like to do the unexpected sometimes, even for a woman he was just having sex with.

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 04:41 am UTC (link)

"I didn't know. I couldn't know." She shrugged. "I hadn't really talked to anyone about any of this, and I started to feel bad that my reasons for being with you weren't honest. When I talked to my partner, he confirmed the idea that I needed to tell you."

Jennifer had no idea if Charlie had known Dean wouldn't get mad or not. She wouldn't put it past him to have found out somehow, or been able to deduce it from reading Dean's file.

"If you were in this for something serious, I couldn't let it be built on a bunch of crap. If either of us were, really."

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 04:57 am UTC (link)

"Jen, you're great. Shit, you're fun. But, I can't say this is serious." Dean wasn't even sure he wanted serious. "We can talk about getting serious, only I don't think that's where we're going. I don't know too many serious gigs start with the sex. So, we can have it out, or we can just keep doing what we've been doing."

He nodded slightly. He'd leave the floor open for the discussion, but he really hoped that there wouldn't be one. He just didn't want to hurt her if she was considering.

"Wait..." It hit him. "You've talked about us with your partner?"

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 05:02 am UTC (link)

"I'm sure stranger things have happened in this place than a relationship becoming serious with sex as it's starter." She meant it in a serious manner, but it was kind of funny as she said it, so she ended up laughing a little bit. "I don't know what I want either, to be honest. You're really great in a lot of ways. But it might be still too fresh for me. Considering I just started to talk about it. The fact that I can't say one way or the other is probably pretty telling."

She didn't think it was a big deal. "Of course. I talk to him about everything. Not that I really needed to say anything, apparently, he'd already checked into you."

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 05:12 am UTC (link)

"I would too. If I could, I'd run checks on everyone here, but that's just me. If I had a partner," Dean hadn't forgotten Sam, but they weren't as close as they used to be. "If I had a partner, I'd run a background check on the guy she was fucking." He shrugged, smiling.

"Though, some people might say it's a little creepy to do that too." He smirked. "I guess if this gets serious, I'll end up meeting him. Not that I look forward to meeting a cop."

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 05:16 am UTC (link)

"It's kind of habit for us." She was smiling a little darkly at him. "You've already met a cop. And as you so sweetly put it, fucked her."

She finally had a sip of her coffee, and it was a little cold. "But I get what you mean. I wouldn't doubt if he found you to talk anyway. You don't have anything to worry about with Cha... okay. You might. But it wouldn't be in any legal sense."

Jennifer could picture Charlie kidnapping Dean and grilling him, throwing in a threat or two for good measure.

"I looked at your jacket, too."

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 05:25 am UTC (link)

"Well, you're a cop. Actually you're not the only cop I've fucked, so, yeah. You should really wear labels or come with a warning." Dean shook his head, laughing softly.

"Anyway, I'm not surprised, and not bothered. It should say I robbed a bank, killed some people, and died." He sounded rather matter of fact, and in a way he was. There were quite a few things he'd been in trouble for, and he hoped the list wouldn't get longer. Somehow he guessed it was all a lost cause. The Winchesters rarely stayed out of trouble.

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i_rebel
2012-03-21 05:29 am UTC (link)

"We do." Jennifer tilted her heads. "They're called guns and badges."

So it was a little smartass. She could be a smartass if he could.

"None of it bothers me, if you were wondering. I just wanted to see. I know the difference between a good guy who gets into trouble a lot and a shitface who does bad things."

This was all going so well. Admittedly, Jen started to wonder if maybe she did want something serious with Dean. Maybe not right this second. But eventually. Though that could just be because he was being so good. Maybe she'd just been so sure that this was going to be horrible that now she thought she wanted something.

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i_soldieron
2012-03-21 05:33 am UTC (link)

"Not when you're in bars picking up drunk guys." The hunter smirked. "If it bothered you, you'd try to take me in or try to make me better. You really aren't looking for a project. Which, by the way, makes you a pretty decent chick. When you find the guy, he is gonna be lucky. You got it in the bedroom, and you're not so bad out of it."

He took a sip of coffee, wincing a little at how it had cooled off. He sighed and looked round.

"So, now that you've cleared the air, you wanna go work off some tension?" A waggle of brows was added to the question.

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	i_rebel 2012-03-21 05:35 am UTC (link)
	She didn't really think Dean needed to be fixed, honestly. It wasn't like he was unaware of the things he did. Or fooled himself into thinking that the trouble he got into was a good thing. Jennifer pushed away the cold coffee and smiled. Eyebrows raising. "Don't mind if I do." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_soldieron
2012-03-21 05:39 am UTC (link)

"Car, park, hotel?" Dean had yet to take her to his place, which was probably one of the signs that it just wasn't serious. He was keeping her out of his personal life, or something like that. The apartment was actually one of the few permanent places he'd lived, which was sad for a man over thirty. Sam had stayed over, Cas as well, but it was the first place he'd actually lived in for a long time that was just his.

"Lady's choice." He was already standing and offering his hand to her.

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	i_rebel 2012-03-21 05:42 am UTC (link)
	Jen put her hand in his and stood. "Hotel. I don't plan on letting you off that easy." (Reply to this) (Parent)