I Moderate (i_moderate) wrote in we_coexist, @ 2011-07-26 18:02:00 |
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A Great Russian Africanized Dire Tundra Wolf has escaped The City Zoo today. But given the creature's incredible size, the zookeepers aren't very concerned about how long it will stay loose. This particular wolf was granted the world record in height and weight, standing six foot tall at the shoulder and weighing just a little over thousand pounds. Those that we spoke with are very confident that the wolf will be noticed quite soon, and sheer panic will increase the number of police calls to capture it.
Why such a stance taken? Why not seek the beast out to stop whatever rampage that it might go on before it even gets a chance? 'Well,' say the keepers 'it's not as if it can sneak up on anybody, is it? We figure that somebody's going to run into it, and run. If they're smart, they'll hide in something smaller than it. That should be a pretty obvious route.'
A pretty obvious route to take, indeed. Remember in your scramble to escape, find a small space to fit yourself into, and if you can't remember to do that? As far as we know, the wolf cannot climb. Up seems like a reasonable route to take to save yourselves from being snackfood.
'Besides,' says one zoo management official 'he hasn't hurt anybody before. He's been in that zoo a really long time, and we've never had a problem with him before. It wasn't his fault he got out. Somebody left the cage door open.'
And where did this creature get such a long name? According to scientists, it has features resembling many breeds of wolf, yet none of them in entirety. It stopped at six classifications because the paperwork was getting a bit tedious.