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Dick Grayson ([info]i_wingit) wrote in [info]we_coexist,
@ 2009-01-10 15:39:00

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Entry tags:dick grayson, rincewind, schmendrick

[Open to the Magic Types discussed in earlier thread.]
Being a cat had to be an all-time low for Dick. (Alright, that wasn't true, there was the time when he was lying in a largish pool of his own blood and everybody thought he would be dead in minutes.) Being a cat that changed back to a man on the hour had to be even worse. For one thing, he couldn't go outside for very long. The snow was coming down in waves, and being a rather small, warm fuzzy animal one minute and then a rather large naked man the next meant snow was not the ideal environment for Dick.

Then there was the overwhelming urge to claw things. Literally, almost anything. Buffy walked across the room once and suddenly her ankles just had this... incredible appeal. He had to get them. So he sprang, sank his claws in... and she was rather upset with him for a while afterward. It was all very embarrassing.

Most of their research on the topic went nowhere. The watch couldn't have been older than a couple hundred years (considering when pocket watches were in vogue, likely later), but other than that, they had nothing. No idea where it was made, or why, or whether the spell on it had anything to do with the watch at all. Maybe some nut just picked it up and decided to practice making the owner a cat. Thought it was funny, or something.

Dick wished he could throw things. He put it on his list of things to do when he changed. He had a whole minute as a human, and he made a list of things to do once he got there. Throw something. Scratch the exact top of his head. Eat a piece of fruit.

One night, when Dick was at the point of suggesting they just smash the damn watch, the City must have decided this whole thing had run its course. The doorbell started ringing, and the City started dumping the magically inclined at Buffy's doorstep--probably so it wouldn't have to deal with Dick the Cat's irritated yowling.

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-10 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Schmendrick was, unfortunately, probably not the best choice that the City could've made. Sure, he'd recently done some rather magnificent shape-changing back home, but that didn't mean he'd be able to replicate the feat in the City. Three-quarters of the time, when he tried a spell the City seemed to have other ideas.

"Ahem," Schmendrick cleared his throat, after he'd rung the bell. He didn't quite know what it did, but he'd seen no knocker, so it must've been meant to be used in its stead.

No one came. Normally, Schmendrick was a patient man, but he'd been pulled from a rather nice cup of hot tea, and he didn't fancy standing on the sidewalk all day. So? He tried the knob. To his surprise, the door swung open.

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-10 08:16 pm UTC (link)
A black and white cat backed up from the threshold of the door, craning his head up at the thin man framed in it. "I was trying to figure out how to get it open," he said, sounding a little bitter. (Dick usually sounded bitter when he was wearing fur.) "So what do you want?" He looked the man up and down. He wasn't dressed like anybody he'd ever seen Buffy talk to. Maybe I don't know enough about Buffy's friends, he thought, eying the magician's long nose.

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-10 09:04 pm UTC (link)
Schmendrick looked around at eye level for the source of the voice, but glanced downward after a few seconds. "Aha!" He exclaimed, finally spotting the cat, "you know, you're the second talking feline I've met this week. It's becoming quite the trend."

A polite man would wait to be asked in, and for the moment, Schmendrick was willing to be a polite man in spite of the cold. "I'm not sure. I was having tea, when I thought 'you know, Schmendrick, what would go nicely with this? A sandwich, one of those egg salad numbers that they sell around the corner,' so I got up to get one. Apparently your apartment is now in it's place, and I can take a hint."

The man waited expectantly, as if the cat was supposed to have an answer for some unasked question.

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-10 09:59 pm UTC (link)
Dick's ears pricked upward. (Fairly obvious, as the tips of Dick's ears had just enough white fuzz to make it obvious when they moved.) "Am I? Did they touch a cursed watch?"

He backed up a little more, an awkward process thanks to his back leg, which wasn't working the way it should. "This is Buffy's house. Apparently vampires need to be invited in. Can you get in without me inviting you, or are you a vampire?" The blue eyes gave him a frank, doubtful look. Cats could do the haughty, the doubtful, and the bored. Dick could also do the annoyed. What kind of name is 'Schmendrick'? he thought, tail twitching.

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-10 10:09 pm UTC (link)
"A cursed watch? No, that's new." Schmendrick paused for a moment, and his forehead wrinkled in thought. "...well, possibly. I didn't ask him. He didn't say anything about it, though."

Further musing was cut off by the mention of fanged visitors who required invitations. "Vampires? Are you serious?" He couldn't help it; his jaw dropped. "I've seen many beasts in my time, most of which were supposed to be mythical, but vampires?" That was a new one. Schmendrick let out a disbelieving laugh, then stepped inside, just to demonstrate that he could.

"Forgive me. I am Schmendrick, formerly court magician to King Haggard." The obligatory bow was shallow, almost more of a nod, because the tall man was too busy trying to watch the talking cat. Curious. Very curious. "A cursed watch, you say?"

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-10 10:17 pm UTC (link)
Satisfied the guest wasn't one of Buffy's "vamps," Dick twitched his pink nose, then sat down on his flank. "Glad you think it's funny." He had a young man's voice, a little lower than you might expect from a cat. It was obviously magic, since cats didn't have the tongues or teeth to make the sounds this one was making. His mouth moved some, though. Maybe by habit.

"You're a magician?" Now there was a trace of interest, maybe a gleam of hope. "Yeah, a watch. It's there on the table if you want to take a look, just don't touch it, or you'll end up like me." He led the magician into the living room, a tan, upholstered kind of environment that bore plenty of lived-in comfort. Dick hopped onto the couch, where a blanket lay waiting. "I turn back for a minute on the hour." He looked at the clock. "In another few minutes here."

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-10 10:45 pm UTC (link)
Aha! Perhaps this was why the City dumped him on this 'Buffy' person's doorstep: he was on some sort of quest. "I'll look," he said, before starting into the living room after the cat. Schmendrick leaned forward over the object, but was careful not to touch. "Hmm," the magician made a noncommittal noise, because he found that people seemed to be reassured when he did that.

Honestly? He had no idea what sort of spell had been used, but turning the cat back should be easy enough. Just like turning Amalthea back into the Unicorn, right?

Schmendrick cleared his throat and stepped back, pivoting to face the cat. "I think I can help. You want the shape-changing to stop? Or you have a preferred shape? Human, I'm guessing - as interesting as it would be to live as a cat, I think I'd get tired of it."

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-10 10:49 pm UTC (link)
The cat stared back at him. The guy had said he was a magician. He looked like a magician. He hm'd like a magician. "Hell yeah, I want the changing to stop. I want to stay like I was." He stood up on four legs again, tail twitching again. "You can fix it?"

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-10 11:04 pm UTC (link)
"I can fix it," Schmendrick said, with ultimate confidence and a flourish of his sleeve. He could do this. If he could turn a unicorn into a woman, he could surely turn a cat back into a man.

With sleeves pushed back, Schmendrick cleared his throat and started a sing-songy little chant. At first the words were rhyming nonsense, but eventually he ended with a single English phrase. "Magic, do as you will."

Apparently, the magic felt like turning Dick into a walrus, because after a quick flash of light, that was what was sitting in the spot where the feline had been.

"Oh. Hmm." Schmendrick said, as if the mistake had been nothing at all. "Too much inflection on that last bit. I'll have another try. It'll just be a second!"

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-11 01:41 am UTC (link)
Being a walrus, Dick was now about four thousand pounds, and Buffy's couch went snap and collapsed underneath him. Dick said a particularly nasty word that technically he shouldn't be able to say because of the big tusks in his way. "What the #$^% did you just do? You said you could do it!" Male walrus sort of had a temper.

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[info]i_wizzard
2009-01-11 04:58 am UTC (link)
Rincewind had been out looking for some sort of food store to help Kaylee with the shopping for the crew. He was thrilled to be part of a crew! It was like being back at the University, just without the fat old men and secret rooms that took you to other dimensions. Like this one. Which was confusing.

No more confusing than finding himself at the doorway to a certain house, every time he turned a corner.

"As former professor of Experimental Serendipity, I'm sure I must be meant to be here. I just hope it's not one of those life or death for future generations kind of things. It's getting a bit old hat."

He turned the doorknob in time to see another robed man turn a cat into a walrus.

"Wonderful piece of transformative magic there, but why a walrus? Why not, say, a larger cat? By the way, did you come from the Unseen University? I haven't run into any other wizards yet, so this is very exciting. In a, thank God I'm not in immediate danger kind of way. Um, anything I can do to help?"

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-11 02:44 pm UTC (link)
"My apologies." Schmendrick said, lifting his hands to fend off the angry walrus's accusations. "Like I said, it was a mistake in inflection. Easily corrected."

Schmendrick pushed his sleeves (which had begun to slip down his arms) back up over his elbows. It bought him some time to mentally run through the spell, and to turn and greet the other wizard. "Unseen University? Why no, I was the pupil of great Nikos. I -- I'm afraid I haven't heard of the Unseen University, but it sounds like a place of great learning."

As for the question? Schmendrick considered it, which might not have been too reassuring for Dick-the-walrus. "I'll give it one more try. I think it was a cadence issue. I went too fast." Think? Greeeeat.

The singsongy chant started up again, and ended the same way. "Magic, do as you will!" More light, and the walrus had been replaced by a strange-looking primate. "Good heavens!" Schmendrick exclaimed, then quickly cleared his throat. No, he probably wasn't inspiring confidence at all.

"...maybe you'd better have a go," he told Rincewind.

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-11 05:58 pm UTC (link)
"Who the hell are you? How can a university been Unseen?!" Dick shook his fat walrus head. "You know what, forget it, I don't want to know."

He started to struggle when he heard the first magician start up again, sliding his great bulk off the couch. "No, wait--"

"Oh, you're #$^%ing kidding me." The little monkey-ish thing turned very wide, wide eyes up at the two men. "I'm going to strangle you while I still have hands," he threatened Schmendrick, shaking a little fist at him.

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[info]i_wizzard
2009-01-12 09:22 am UTC (link)
Rincewind titled his head as the other wizard turned the screaming young man from a walrus to an ape of some kind.

"You know, this happened to the Librarian. He decided he liked life better as an orangutan. Just saying, it's a thought."

He winced a little as a stream of invective came out of the primate's mouth as a response.

"Oh, ok I'll try something."

Rincewind started to wish he had a staff with some magic stored up, and the Luggage burped one up onto his feet.

"Oh, I was wondering where you were. Don't touch anything in this house, ok? It all need to be where it is right now."

He concentrated on trying to return the monkey man to his original form, but only managed to turn him back into a cat.

"Well........that's something, at least."

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-12 07:59 pm UTC (link)
It was a horrible, selfish thought, but Schmendrick just couldn't help himself: after the threat of strangling, he was rather glad that Dick's new shape didn't have hands.

"Not bad," Schmendrick said, though whether he was referring to the staff or the spell itself was up in the air. He didn't clarify - instead, he turned a clinical look down on Dick the Cat. "I suppose we could wait for him to turn human on the hour, and then try to keep him that way?"

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-12 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Hopping up onto the table (which was, thankfully, still intact), Dick tried to say something else nasty, but it came out as a screeching yowl. Surprised, the cat reeled back a couple feet and tried again. Another sound, this time a growling half-yelp. It was pretty easy to read the surprise on the cat's face, and then the desperation.

It took him a full minute to realize that not only was he a cat again, he now couldn't talk. This was so much worse than his situation had been before. A few seconds into the last minute of the hour, half of his fur on end, Dick bounded off the table toward the first magician, choosing him as his target because he was closer and there was more leg to claw.

Halfway there, the clock struck, and abruptly (with a pulse of golden glow, rather than a flash of white light), a naked young man was standing where the cat had been. He paused in his step, startled. In human form, it was quite obvious that this young man could probably pound either of the magicians into magic pulp and still have time to change back. The only peculiarity to a rather unbelievable, practically Apollonian form was a small half-healed wound mid-thigh.

He pointed a finger at Schmendrick. "Do not do that again."

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[info]i_wizzard
2009-01-14 12:36 am UTC (link)
Rincewind ducked and covered his head as the cat launched itself at them. He prepared for impact, then slowly uncrouched as the transformative magic worked on the young cat-man.

He hid the staff behind his back as the muscular young hero (and he was obviously a Hero) threatened them.

"No, of course not. We're going to try fixing you in your current state, sir. Magic is really like trying to force the universe to shape reality as you wish, takes a couple of efforts, really. I once helped remake the world, you know. Never mind, not important."

He shot a desperate look over at his erstwhile colleague. They needed to figure out the best way to keep this young man human before they accidentally turned him into something that would gladly eat them.

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-15 12:56 am UTC (link)
Schmendrick had dealt with upset men before. However, none of them - with the possible exception of Lir - had been built quite like Dick Grayson. He tried not to look startled by the sudden menacing mass of muscle, and mostly failed. He even took a few steps back, before he realized what he was doing and regained his self-control.

"You're not happy," Schmendrick started to babble, hands held at a placating chest-level, with palms out, "and I can understand, but you said you wanted--"

Oh, screw it. They were losing their window.

"A la peanut butter sandwiches." Schmendrick mumbled facetiously, and waved a hand. He wasn't expecting anything to happen, but surprisingly, there was a flash of light. "Oh, you have got to be kidding," he exclaimed, disbelief coloring his face. "The words from those moving pictures actually work?"

When the glow faded, Dick was still standing there. But that was the point, wasn't it? To keep Dick human. Now. The only thing to do was wait and see if it lasted.

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[info]i_wingit
2009-01-16 01:42 am UTC (link)
Nervously, Dick looked down, and around, and then down again. He looked over his shoulder for any signs of a tail, wings, or God knows what else. Looked human. He looked back at the two men, glowering a little bit at Schmendrick just because he'd come first. "Good so far." Now why did it sound like a threat as he said it?

The cold from outside was starting to leak under the door in the hallway, and Dick strode efficiently over to the remains of the couch and plucked up a blanket to wrap around himself while they waited to see if a minute's time gave him claws or whether he'd just be able to punch them one.

The seconds ticked by. "They should make you guys take exams and get licenses before they let you out into the wild," he grumbled, eyes on the clock. Five seconds. Four. Dick had his eyes tightly shut, as if braced for impact. Three. Two. One. Pause. Dick opened one blue eye. "Do I want to know what I look like right now?"

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[info]i_wizzard
2009-01-18 02:59 am UTC (link)
Rincewind held on to his staff for dear life and squeezed his eyes closed, willing the magic to keep the young man, well.......young and a man.

He didn't dare open his eyes to see if it had worked.

He reached out a hand and managed to smack the other wizard (sorry, magician) on the arm.

"Did we work? I mean, what is he now?"

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[info]i_juggle
2009-01-18 10:38 am UTC (link)
Schmendrick was not expecting to be smacked on the arm, so his eyes widened as the hand connected. It didn't really hurt, but he was surprised. He stopped looking at Dick for a moment - possibly a mistake, depending upon how murderous the young man was feeling - to glance over at Rincewind.

"A man. He looks like --" Schmendrick stopped and turned back to look at Dick. "You look like you. Well. I presume you look like you, though not knowing what 'you' really look like, I could be wrong. You're not a cat. Or... err, whatever that creepy little monkey was."

Perhaps they should get a mirror. Schmendrick opened his mouth to try and conjure one, thought about it for a moment, and then decided to pull one off the wall instead. Better not press his luck.

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