thea queen (willbestrong) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2015-08-02 16:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | ben skywalker, john watson, thea queen |
Who: Ben Skywalker & Thea Queen
When: Saturday, June 13 (yeah, it's backdated a lot)
Where: Some park in Lawrence
What: Having a picnic. This time with actual sandwiches. And junk food, too.
Rating: Low. Rated A for Adorable?
Status: Complete. </font>
Cheetos were up there with Peeps as some of the more ridiculously over-processed foods that Ben Skywalker had found in Lawrence, Kansas, but in the scheme of over-processed he had to admit that they beat out protein bars in terms of taste, if not in terms of nutrition. And since the Peeps seemed to have disappeared with the spring, he had pulled out cheetos instead, along with sub sandwiches he'd picked up for him and Thea, and flavored waters, and a selection of various candies and other snacks that had just looked interesting, and he was currently pulling all of those things out on a picnic table he'd pushed over underneath a giant tree in the park on a warm summer's afternoon. The day was so much more ideal than the past few weeks had been. Ben was beginning to believe that Lawrence, Kansas was vying home in terms of bizarre and unusual. Not that so far anything quite like Abeloth had managed to make it's way visible, but that didn't mean it wasn't there and he felt disconcertingly still lacking knowledge despite the time he'd spent trying to learn things. Today though was a time to ignore most of that, at least the part that didn't directly relate to him and the pretty young woman that seemed to keep saying yes to spending time with him. "If I've done a horrible selection of food," he gave Thea a quick grin as he placed the last of the snacks, a selection of oblong red candies labeled 'hot tamales'. "Then don't tell me, and we'll just eat Cheetos." Thea was kind of glad to see the Ben had brought some legit real food, but she wasn't sorry to see the large assortment of junk. Comfort food. She hadn't forgotten her promise to tell him her whole sordid history once things got back to normal around Lawrence and she had a feeling that if she really had to get into everything with her family, she was going to need that food. "You've got a great selection of food," she assured him, grinning as she surveyed the assortment he'd laid out on the table for them. The sandwiches looked really good and there was so much junk and candy. She didn't even have to lie to tell him it was great. Even the flavored waters were awesome. She preferred those to any kind of soda - or pop as they seemed to call it around here. "Seriously, Ben, this is amazing," she said as she made herself comfortable on one side of the table and grabbed one of the waters he'd set out. The look she gave him was admiring and she was struck, not for the first time, by how easy it was to just be around him, to talk to him. With Ollie gone, she was more glad than ever to have that, someone she could talk to or even just hang out with like this. "Good," Ben said, more pleased than was reasonable considering that it was just a picnic and he wasn't entirely certain what was going on with him and Thea. So far she'd been one of the few people here that he'd found himself able to talk to or even wanting to talk to about anything related to home. Not that most of that was cheery subjects. His mom being here, Jacen being here - it wasn't as if he didn't have people from home, but it wasn't exactly without complications. Loads of complications that he didn't really know how to explain to anyone. With Thea he didn't feel as if he had to explain, exactly, but if he needed to, or wanted too? He was pretty certain he'd be okay with that. "I kinda figured we should have some food that might qualify as something other than junk in order to push this into the status of 'legitimate picnic'. Not that we have to eat it necessarily, but it'll be there, and thus by its very presence this has all somehow become more legitimate." He gave her a grin and took a seat across the picnic bench. He knew her brother had been returned home, and she had apparently had her mother's ghost haunting her - which considering his ghost had been someone he'd killed seemed unfortunate - and this place… Ben was still getting used to it. He opened the bag of cheetos before asking: "How have you been doing?" Thea felt the same way about Ben. She didn’t have to explain, but at the same time she kind of wanted to. And she felt like she could, like she could actually talk to him about her past and he wouldn’t judge her for it, even for her mistakes or her shortcomings. It was a good feeling. It was also a good feeling to not have to be Thea Queen for him. So many people at home thought they knew who she was. With Ben, there weren’t any such expectatious. It was a lot like being in Corto Maltese had been. She’d been able to be someone else there, too. “Legitimate picnic, huh?” Thea smiled at that as she reached up a hand and brushed back some hair that had blown across her face. “You make this sound like an actual date, Skywalker.” Her tone was light, her spirits seemingly high. When he asked her a more serious question, though, her mood grew a little more somber. “I’ve been okay,” she answered. She missed Ollie, but she knew he was okay at home. She’d watched him and Felicity ride off into the sunset on their show. It was hard not having him here in Lawrence anymore, but she thought she was dealing with it okay. The recent visions of her mother were harder to shake, but she was dealing with that, too. Sort of. Ben glanced over at her, and he kinda shrugged, feeling a little shy suddenly. He really didn't have that much experience with girls. Mostly there had been Vestara, and Thea was a long cry from the Sith girl that had been utterly and completely untrustworthy, and yet, who Ben had been undeniably attracted to. And he'd wanted to help her, but it hadn't really worked out so well. Thankfully he was pretty certain Thea might be confusing, but not in the way that was likely to end up with him dead, which on the journey of his life seemed to be moving up. The real question right now is if she'd agree to an 'actual date'. It almost seemed like she might and it brought a grin to his lips that made him feel a little ridiculous, but the grin didn't really fit with the topic so he pushed it down into a smile and nodded. He knew that her brother had been taken back and he didn't know if there were any other people here from her home. When he thought about his mom being taken away via the seal and being left here by himself it wasn't a pleasant thought. Made less pleasant by knowing what it was like to lose her at home. He picked out one of the sandwiches and sort of unwrapped it. "Have you really been okay, or are you just saying you're okay? Cause the answer will depend on how many of these Hot Tamale's I share with you," he teased gently, but his face was more serious than his words. Ben was a lot different from the guys Thea normally went out with. She definitely tended to gravitate toward the “bad boy” type and as far as she could tell, Ben didn’t really fit that mold, but she thought maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was a sign she had grown out of making bad choices, always picking the guys who would leave her who treat her poorly. Ben was a legitimate good guy. She liked that about him. He wasn’t at all hard on the eyes, either. Seeing him smile at her comment brought a smile to Thea’s lips, too. It didn’t stay as their conversation ventured into more serious topics, but the thought that he might not mind the idea that this could be a legitimate date warmed her. “I guess that depends on how you define okay,” she admitted, “but I can pretend either way if it’s going to get me more Hot Tamales.” The latter part of that statement was said more lightly, with a smile to indicate she was joking. “I miss Ollie, but I know he’s okay at home, so I guess watching our show was good for something. At least I know he’s safe and happy there.” "Mostly I'm interested in the truth," he shrugged lightly. "So pretending isn't really useful for additional Hot Tamales." But this felt like the truth and Ben could get that. He opened the box and tried one - seeing what they tasted like. They were sweet but also extremely spicy and not half-bad. He emptied a few more into his palm and held them out for Thea if she wanted them. "I guess that's one benefit isn't it?" He said thoughtfully. "I've not even really looked at any of the stuff about home, I guess it's mostly books, and I haven't had time, or inclination really to do the reading. What little I looked at - it seemed like I'd lived most of it anyway, and there's a lot of it I don't care to revisit anytime soon." The words came out a little darker than he'd intended and he purposefully straightened his shoulders. "But even if you know he's safe and happy there, it's got to be hard not having him here. Especially if you guys are pretty close." Thea nodded. “I am glad to know that he’s okay,” she admitted, taking a couple of the Hot Tamales from his offered hand, although she didn’t put them in her mouth just yet. Instead, she sort of played with them, just for something to busy her hands with as she kept talking. “I miss him. We’re - well, there were a lot of secrets and lies, we had our issues back home, but even with all of that, he’s the only family I have left. He’s my brother and I love him. I know he’s probably happier at home than he ever could have been here, but I still hate that he’s gone.” Thea knew that was selfish. She knew she should be happy for him getting to his happy ending with Felicity, but it was hard to feel that way, especially with Sara gone, too. It was just her and Barry now and Barry was a guy she barely knew. He was nice, but he was Ollie’s friend, not hers. Finally, she popped the candy in her mouth and gave herself a moment to enjoy the combination of sweet and spicy. “I feel like it’s selfish to hope he comes back, but I kind of do,” she admitted. Ben watched her. He didn't know her well enough to be able to read her moods and emotions and what they indicated for where her internal world was going. He kind of wanted to know her that well, and that was its own conversation for another time - not now. Some other time when he'd tried to figure out whether it was even a good idea to really get involved with someone from here when who knew how long he would be here or whether he might be taken back too. "I don't think it's selfish," he said finally. "Like you say - he's your brother, and you miss him. And there's nothing to say he couldn't be happy here too, right? I guess don't really know what it's like to have siblings. I'm an only child. The closest I came to that was my cousins, and they're both quite a bit older than me. Well. Jaina is. Jacen isn't -" Ben stopped and wrinkled up his nose. Jacen was here and Thea might know him, and any explanation he could offer sounded complicated and could possibly ruin the entire mood. "I mean, he and Jaina are twins, so same age." Ben put one of the candies in his mouth and considered it for a moment before he looked back at her. "I get the secrets and lies thing though, and just general issues. I think the Skywalker name probably comes with Issues with a capital I." “If they’re twins, how can one of them be older and the other not be older?” That was confusing, unless he was just talking about the whole time weirdness that happened here, which was entirely possible. Lawrence was weird that way. It made things really confusing. Thea nodded, even though she wasn’t sure it was exactly the same. Maybe it was. She didn’t really know all the details of his family and their history, but it was hard to imagine there was any family as screwed up as her own. “My family lied to me pretty much my whole life,” she explained, even if she probably didn’t need to. “I didn’t even know who my real father was until recently and he turned out to be- a really bad guy. And I thought I knew who my mom was and who Ollie was, but I don’t know if I did. Not really. They both kept so much from me.” She knew they had their reasons and she’d mostly come to terms with it all. She understood about Ollie being The Arrow and she understood why he’d had to keep it a secret. She loved him for it. Maybe it made it hard to trust him when he’d hidden so much from her, but she’d meant what she said. He was still her brother. “I guess I just feel like I shouldn’t wish Lawrence on anyone, with the Seal and all the weird crap it puts us through.” Maybe Lawrence wasn’t all bad and she was sitting with one of the reasons she felt that way, but still, it felt wrong to wish Ollie would come back to all of this. Ben glanced over and frowned slightly. He wasn't certain how much to get into his family life, but maybe it wasn't so bad. It sounded as if Thea was used to family being complicated and messy and maybe not always the best people to have around you. So, reaching into the bag of cheetos and pulling one out he turned it over in his fingers, getting orange cheese dust on them before popping it into his mouth and then licking the finger. "Jaina and Jacen are the same age. Technically I think Jaina was the older. It's just when I'm from Jacen isn't alive, so that's what I was referring to. And I get that. Jacen was like an older brother, and a mentor. He was someone I trusted," Ben wrinkled up his nose and stared off into the distance between squinting eyes. "He lied to me, about who he really was, and what he really wanted. And I believed him until it was too late for... some people I cared about." Ben looked over at Thea with an empathetic smile and he shrugged. "It sucks. Being lied to, and having family turn out to not be for you. It really does, and I'm sorry you know about that too. Guess it's a good thing I went overboard on the junk food, huh?" Thea both loved and hated that he understood. It sucked that he'd had to go through something like that, but at the same time it was nice to have someone in her life who got it. Although the situations also sounded vastly different - Ollie had lied to protect her while he was out saving lives and trying to make their city safer - she felt a certain comfort in knowing that Ben understood how it felt to be misled by a sibling, by someone you cared for so deeply. "He did it for a good reason. I know that now," she told Ben as she helped herself to another Hot Tamale. Eating a sandwich would probably be smarter, but this was more of a junk food kind of conversation. "I guess it still hurts a little, but I'm proud of him, too. He sacrificed a lot to protect me, to protect our whole city. I'm glad he'll have his happy ending at home, especially if he couldn't have that here." She laughed at the comment about the junk food, though. "I guess it is a good thing. I mean, it's good you brought some respectable food, too, but this kind of talk really goes better with Hot Tamales and Cheetos." He had cheese powder on his face, near the corner of his mouth and she couldn't help but smile as she reached over to wipe it off. "You have a little-" she laughed again as her touch really only smudged it, leaving a bigger streak of orange. "Cheetos are good, but they're a little messy," she said, using some of her water to wet the edge of a napkin and trying again. Ben's cheeks felt warm as Thea wiped the corner of his mouth with her napkin and he laughed slightly to diffuse the fact that her fingers on his lips had been all too pleasant and that he kind of liked her feeling comfortable enough to help make certain he didn't have embarrassing orange cheese powder on his mouth as they were sitting and having this conversation. It also proved to be a distraction from the fact that while Ben had tried to talk to Jacen a few times, he was still coming up short with knowing what to think of his cousin or the life he'd apparently crafted here. "Thanks," he grinned. "I'd hate to walk around with Cheetos on my face all day. Everyone would know I'd been having serious conversation with a pretty girl." He dropped his eyes from her face as he looked off at a tree that was nearby pondering the differences in what she'd said and what his family complications brought. "Jacen keeps saying he did it for a good reason, to help things be better. I feel a little guilty telling him that it's not actually been that great when I'm from. And a little guilty for maybe being angry that he found something good here apparently… His kids are cute anyway and I'm pretty certain he adores them, so maybe there's some hope for that and I need to forgive better." He looked back over at her. "So I didn't really get to know him while he was here. What's your brother like?" "Well, we have to keep up appearances. I want you to fetch a good price at the auction," she teased him. She hadn't exactly set a date for that, yet, but she wanted to go forward with it, even with Ollie gone. Also, it provided a good excuse to tease Ben a little, which was something she couldn't really resist, especially if it lightened the seriousness of their conversation for a moment. A part of her wanted to know more about what Jacen had done and what had happened. She didn't want to press for the details, though. Instead, she gave him a sympathetic look and shook her head when he said he felt a little guilty. "You can't help how you feel," she told him. "And you shouldn't feel like you have to forgive him. What he has here or what he's done here doesn't take away whatever he did to you before. It was different with Ollie, I think. He lied to me a lot, but he did it because me knowing he was The Arrow could have put me in danger. He blew off quality sibling time to go save people's lives. As mad as it made me, then, I'm actually really proud of him for everything he's done." Talking about her brother brought a smile to Thea's face. It was obvious that she really loved him. She paused to grab a handful of Cheetos before she answered Ben's question. "He used to be different. Kind of irresponsible, a definite part boy, but when he came back from Lian Yu, he was different. More serious. He really cares about people. He's always putting others before himself. He sacrificed his freedom to save my life - well, to bring me back from the dead, actually. I mean, I haven't lived through that part, yet, but I saw it on tv. I'm really sorry you didn't get to know him better." Thea's expression was both thoughtful and affectionate as she finished and she fell silent then, popping one of the Cheetos into her own mouth. Ben nodded. He'd never had siblings. His cousins had been the closest thing to them and they had both been so much older. He wondered briefly what it would have been like to have a sibling - a sister or a brother he would have had to compete with or look up to or get angry with. There was really no true comparison here. But Thea's words helped some. So frequently he felt as if he had to forgive Jacen, but Jacen had torn his life apart and even if Ben could see the places it had made him a stronger person and the good things that had come from it despite that - it didn't make it possible to go back to the relationship they'd had before. He had wanted to be just like his cousin - once. He reached over for one of the sandwiches and unwrapped it slowly. "I wish I could have too. He sounds like the sort of person that I'd like. Honestly, he pretty much sounds like he'd fit right in with my family," Ben shrugged. "We're always putting others before ourselves and running off to save people, and stuff. And that used to bug me when it was my parents. Like, I totally get what you're saying - feeling as if he was blowing off sibling time? Only for me it was like my parents were blowing me off to save hundreds of beings who didn't even want them. But I think I've come to realize that it didn't mean they loved me less. It was their way of trying to make the galaxy one that they would want for their son to live in. And… I mean, that sort of thing isn't a bad life. like you say - I'm proud of them." Ben looked over at her. "So you don't know that he's doing this stuff at home? Or you do know that now?" Thea didn’t think you should have to forgive anyone if you weren’t feeling it. She’d held grudges against the people in her life to lying to her for a while, but when she had chosen to forgive them for it, that had been wholly her choice. She didn’t think it was really forgiveness if you were forced or guilted into it. “Well, it bugged me when I didn’t know what he was doing,” she explained. “I didn’t know for a long time what he was doing. I thought he just had better things to do.” She laughed a little as she remembered some of those times. “He had the lamest excuses, so I knew he was lying to me. I just didn’t know why, so I ended up really pissed off about it. When he finally told me the truth, I understood everything. I was really proud of him, then. It made me love him more.” Talking about Ollie made her sad in a way, but it brought a smile to her face, too. In a way, it made her feel better, to be able to share this stuff with Ben. A part of it was the feeling like he sort of understood how she felt about her brother - the good stuff and the not so good - but a part of it was just the act of talking, itself, which Ben made really easy, somehow, and Thea happily continue one with more stories from her childhood, about Oliver and about the rest of her family, as she unwrapped her own sandwich. "That definitely makes sense," Ben nodded. He looked over at Thea and offered her a smile. It really sounded like her brother had been a pretty cool person all things considered. He hadn't gotten the opportunity to know him, and maybe he hadn't been perfect - but what family was perfect? Ben's was certainly a long way from perfect and maybe it was a little bit nice to know that it wasn't just his family. "So - I got these," he reached into the bag and pulled out a box of chocolates. He had resisted the urge to make it a stupid heart shaped box although he'd seen that too. But it seemed over the top, especially considering he wasn't even certain Thea liked him enough to be interested in eating chocolates from a heart-shaped box with him and he really didn't want to ruin everything by making it awkward. "So what do you say? I've been told the most fun part is the not knowing what you're going to get bit, so you should go first and then if it's good - I'll pick it's counterpart on the other side," he grinned. Thea watched the box of chocolates with a smile on her face when Ben pulled them from the bag and set them in front of them. The proportion of junk food to regular food at this picnic wasn't remotely healthy, but she didn't care. She kind of loved that he liked all theses sweets. It also felt like candy was kind of their thing since she'd introduced him to Peeps and a bunch of other junk food. "That is definitely the most fun part," she agreed, nodding her head. "Have you seen that movie Forrest Gump, yet?" She laughed, thinking of it. "'Life is like a box of chocolates," she quoted in her best Forrest voice, "'you never know what you're going to get.'" Anyway, aside from the fun of being surprised by the filling, Thea actually loved chocolate, so she was glad to see some now. "And they say chivalry is dead," she teased to him letting her pick the first piece. She pretended to give it a lot of serious consideration before she pulled one out and put it in her mouth. "Caramel," she announced once she'd chewed and swallowed it a moment later. The smile seemed encouraging and Ben grinned back as she teased him. He hadn't really expected anything to come of their conversation about Peeps but it seemed maybe they had more in common than he'd ever expected he could find with someone here. Similarly complicated families and a love of junk food might not be enough to build a relationship on, but it wasn't a bad start. He debated for a moment the merits of attempting a kiss and then decided maybe he wasn't ready and maybe she wasn't or maybe he just needed to be sure she wasn't just friendly and not remotely interested in kissing... "Caramel huh? That's a lucky first choice. Clearly the Force was with you." |