herotrials I welcome all genders and sexualities, infact Im playing an OC called Lugatta that's trans and gay. Believe it or not. I may make Squall Bisexual. I'm considering. I want someone to play RInoa, male or female, make her whatever. I'm making Noctis trans and heterosexual with a side of 'I get feelings for guys sometimes, but I don't like labels.' I understand, more than you know.
Please listen. I told you all a long time ago, to join my game, I'm not who you think I am. If you want to know my personality and why I do the things I do. Read this; please, I'm not here to hurt or hinder. I'm here to help and love everyone on this planet. Okay? I'm a good guy and I want you to come play with me. I miss insanejournal and I was trying to clean it up because we had gay head hunters on here. They killed gays for shits and giggles. A lot of us are uber smart with high IQs. Okay? I love you all. Stop exiling me. Okay? I love you. I love everyone. Please. I'll out to you another side too. IF you want to know me, then know me. Okay? Please. Stop being mean now.
[div align="center"][div style="width:400px;text-align:justify;background-color:#fff;color:#848482;border:12px solid #ccc;padding:30px;"][div align="center"][img style="max-width:100%;" src="https://i.ibb.co/545tzPQ/Orihara-Izaya-600-2073301.jpg"][/div][div style="text-align:center;font-variant:small-caps;"][font size="4" face="georgia"]Lugatta Espial Sampson[/font][/div][div align="center"][div align="center"][div style="text-align:center;height:30px;width:280px;overflow:auto;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);"][font face="trebuchet ms" size="1"]"Light it up like a baby grand piano, my fingers play a texture so enraged. My passions full of words I can't say. [/font][/div][/div][div style="text-align:center;border-top-color:rgb(204, 204, 204);border-top-style:solid;border-top-width:3px;font-variant:small-caps;"][font face="georgia" size="5"]I. BASICS[/font][/div][font size="1"] [/font][div style="text-align:left;"][span style="text-align:justify;"][font size="1"][/font][/span][/div][div style="text-align:left;"][span style="text-align:justify;"][font size="1" face="trebuchet ms"]FULL NAME:: Lugatta Espial Sampson NICKNAMES:: L.E, Glowworm(Manesa), Brightstar (Reno and his mother), and Passionfruit. (Reno and Manesa) GENDER:: Male AGE:: 25 ORIENTATION:: he'd rather not say, but he's somewhere on the promise spectrum. ALIGNMENT:: harminous/neutral/chaotic. (He plays the field a he needs to in order to achieve good things in whatever world he is in) [/font][font face="trebuchet ms" size="1"]HOMEWORLD:: Final Fantasy 8[/font]
[/span][/div][div style="text-align:left;"][hr][span style="text-align:justify;"] [font size="1"]HEIGHT:: 6'0 HAIR/EYES/SKIN:: black hair, yellowish brown when normal and transitions to blue-violet glow when using powers. Tanned/Olive toned. DISTINGUISHING MARKS::[/font] Hmmm.... He feels unremarkable but he isn't. But Manesa has said he has Honest eyes and Reno has said you have pornstar lips. He told Reno: Fuck off, you have special penor and it's not a good thing.
[/span][/div][/div] [div style="text-align:center;border-top-color:rgb(204, 204, 204);border-top-style:solid;border-top-width:3px;font-variant:small-caps;"][font size="5" face="georgia"]II. PERSONA[/font][/div][div style="height:130px;overflow:auto;text-align:justify;"][font size="1" face="trebuchet ms"]There's a deep way about Lugatta, he may have a darkness in his heart that comes with the territory of being a former dark mage user, but now as a sorcerer, his depth has gotten more hidden and more seeable as he uses his powers. He's considered a father figure among his friends, a protector among his peers, he's Buffy the vampire slayer circa third season, voted class protector and Angel is a girl who may just be his chosen girl match. Not that he knows what Buffy is, but since Dollet's radio signals went back up, there's something similar to watch.
He's more than his blade, more than his energetic magics, he's not the evil witch from Wizard of oz, he's more Gregory the good sorcerer. He's Mr. compassionate, with a side of sunny side eggs on the up and happy. He's got a darkness though, you mess with those he cares deeply about or loves? He's willing to go the don on your ass. It's not a side he likes about himself and he never goes so far that he should be put in prison for life, he goes far enough that people don't ever mess with what or who he loves again in their life.
His intelligence doesn't surprise people anymore like it used, he got top marks in his class and surpassed Seifer Almasy, who apparently was smarter than Squall Leonhart. His IQ is that on the edge of an Anime character and his planet would probably would be mercury with some hot hot bubble action that melts back Venuse' stubborn and scared of love chains heart. Everyone thinks he should look like a nerd, but be belongs in a magazine about nerds that like looking fresh if he doesn't sleep in until noon on a Saturday, and his heart is on his sleeve at an animal shelter he was volunteering at in Balamb until the war broke out and he couldn't dedicate anymore time to the beautiful creatures of his home country.
He's a kitchen scientist, he blames kitchen shows that cropped up on Balamb's local channel, he loves finding out what makes a dish tick and making it look pretty too. He especially loves making people realize there's more than one way to fry a fish, or eat fish balls or sticky rice. He hated the menu at Balamb Garden. Who the heck wants to eat hotdogs everyday? He doesn't, that's why Reno, Manesa and him were some of the few to bounce between a vegetarian and pescatarian diet to keep themselves healthy and in shape.
They learned from Seifer Almasy when they were in their teens, that he didn't trust hotdogs and he didn't know why students were being forcefed bullshit. Lugatta grew suspicious, and wanted to change the menu, which is why he advocated to get a fish town like Balamb to do a healthier menu. There were plenty of farms around, plenty of local produce. It worked out in the end. Zell Dincht punched a 18 year old Lugatta in the face and cried that Balamb completely got rid of hotdogs. Lugatta and him brawled, afterward Lugatta bought him ice cream as an apology. Zell just cried on his shoulder, and Instructor Leonhart even gave him a hug.
Last but not least, he's a romantic at heart. He loves checking out constellations and stars, and talking about planets and the moon, even if the stars are hot balls of gas, they're still interesting to look at. He always wondered if 'Hyne' felt the same way, or if Hyne even was the big guy upstairs. Where did his energies come from? He loves places like the beach, nature itself and his health nut tendencies tend to lead to hiking. He's passionate too, the color purple when it comes to his trademark power usage, is an indication of his heart and his need to get intense when it comes to battle or life itself. There's more to Lugatta, but he's kind of a big time heart on his sleeve kind of guy while remaining private and hidden from the public eye. He was kinda pissed at Squall Leonhart for going private and putting Lugatta on the world stage as Balamb's spokesman instead of himself.
He once got into an argument with him about rather Wolves or Lions were better. They decided both helped the environment. He now considers himself a big lazy cat too, especially during afternoon naps. He actually referred to Rinoa as a Wolf in the sheets, a lion in the streets. Right? Squall glared and said None of your business. That's private. Lugatta grinned, he liked lighting a fire underneath that guy's ass to hopefully get him to spend more time with their Balamb Den mother, Mrs. Leonhart. Basically he liked his instructor enough to help him out and become a damn scapegoat for the public eye. That's the kind of guy Lugatta is. He's easily jealous and creative, but he's mellowed out from his teens and doesn't hate the world quite as much for making him envious of others. There's also the fact that he's a bit snoopy, he likes finding out about people through things considered nefarious but he likes keeping things in order behind the scenes and beyond. He's easily angered sometimes, it takes a lot to get his gull, but it does happen.
[/font][/div] [div style="text-align:center;border-top-color:rgb(204, 204, 204);border-top-style:solid;border-top-width:3px;font-variant:small-caps;"][font face="georgia" size="5"]III. BACKGROUND[/font][/div][div style="height:130px;overflow:auto;text-align:justify;"][font face="trebuchet ms" size="1"] He is the first male sorcerer in existence in the world of Gaia. His power is more manifestation, than hexes and spells. He's been experimented on by Odin and studied to understand why he handles it better than a woman does. He can do soundless incantations from the mind, without moving his lips.
He's more accurate than former sorceresses were. He always knows what a situation needs. His style consists of bringing up burning auras of purple, as purple flames surround him with hite hues. It's part of his 'show' his battle movements, he can move while he fights, he's always delicate yet strongheaded while he does it. He has a secondary weapon besides his hands, which is a gunblade. It has a wolf hanging from its handle, a standard weapon called The Happy Trigger. A new series after ten years after the revolver came out.
The blade is hued in purple, there's a wolf's pawprint near his blade handle and the handle itself is navy. The blade itself may be hued purple but it looks like blackened burnt steel too. He does a series of swipes, jabs and he appears to be a wild card of sorts. He does nothing as you expect, but he may do something you expect if it's expected. If he's ordered. Otherwise, on his own? He questions the motives for fighting and can be either soft ruthless or cutthroat bluntly in battle. He always when necessary, his rivals Kross and Kat. They're bad eggs all through, but he never leaves them to die. He let's them live over and over again until they get the point. He's not above big speeches and letting them know they need to stop supporting an evil sorceress. The worst thing he's done to Kat for example, is force her to face that idea that she was fighting a worthless cause, one that needed destroyed. That cause? The religion known as Hyphonian. He also cut off Kross' finger, when he tried slicing Manesa's throat. His bestfriend.
Garden's polices had changed, they had become more peaceful and that meant they were less inclined to hurt others. But sometimes, he his anger got the best of him and he had to teach Kross a lesson. He allowed the man to reattach it as he wasn't heartless, just angry and pissed. Manesa was scared of him afterward, but he received a hug later and a kiss on the cheek. He won't out what happened, but he felt relieved he wasn't as condemned as he felt.
[/font][/div] [div style="text-align:center;border-top-color:rgb(204, 204, 204);border-top-style:solid;border-top-width:3px;font-variant:small-caps;"][font size="5" face="georgia"]IV. HISTORY[/font][/div][div style="height:130px;overflow:auto;text-align:justify;"][font face="trebuchet ms" size="1"]FF8 Alternate Reality - After time compression, this young man graduated from his field exam in Galbadia. Where Timber was finally released from Galbadia's tryanny. He graduated with his bestfriends, Manesa Liusuma and Reno Heart. What happened during the exam was simple, the three found themselves in an underground lagoon that was rising. They found themselves in centra ruins after escaping and there was a young woman dying on the abandoned premises. She clung to Lugatta as they found their way inside, and Manesa was ready to take the woman's powers. Lugatta heard a voice in his head. 'Take me into you. You need my strength or they die.'
Lugatta felt energy, power swiftly go into him and his eyes started to glow a deep bluish purple. A violet aura surrounded him and he stared into the dead woman's face, angry. Sorceresses didn't last long. What was he? A sorcerer? Was his will toward Hyne now? He knew he was the first of his kind. Reno eyed him suspiciously and called him The Source. Back in Balamb, Edea and Rinoa taught him everything they could. He oddly got a crush on Rinoa much to Squall Leonhart's chagrin, and he proved he wasn't afraid of the man but it always amused him as his eyebrow twitched. It wasn't like he was serious about instructor lady!Leonhart.
Hyphonian was a religion quickly sweeping across Gaia. He kept his powers under wraps, only a select few knew. Manesa and Reno outed their allegience as Knights to Lugatta. He was embarrassed, he didn't need protection. He was taking down T-rexuars with flare, holy and ultimas left and right without junctioning or drawing. He hardly needed them, but they loved him enough to help him. Rinoa quickly became his least favorite person as she preached sorceress supremancy, and Squall and him became closer as friends. Squall outed the truth; Rinoa would have to die and Sorceress Nolie, would have to die too. The Sorceress Ambassador for Gaia. There were wars and constant droughts, food shortages, rain shortages, it seemed like the sorceresses were doing this. At least that's what Manesa said. Alcohol was in short supply, Reno came up with the solution to use something besides potatoes. Alcoholics were dying everywhere. What were the sorceresses up to? Didn't she know there were functioning alcoholics? Why the harsh treatment?
Churches started popping up everyhere as the sorceresses saved the world. Lugatta didn't participate in the rain restore ceremony, instead he judged Rinoa for even participating. What were they up to? Lugatta, Manesa, and Reno decided to take a break in Winhill. They found themselves in the hotel, discussing what to do. Manesa revealed she was a prophet of sorts, she knew something; this would lead to the fifth sorceress war. Lugatta was their only hope, as was Selphie Tilmitt, Manesa and Reno. The Faeries revealed themselves and they found themselves intrigued. As Manesa and Lugatta helped the lionfaerie Noa across the faerie river of the dead, their hands touched and she swiped her hand away. Ever so Lugatta, he hugged her from the side and kissed her cheek. She looked down, crestfallen. "Don't do that again." He pouted. "why?" She sighed. "I don't make it through the war." Lugatta stared, tearing up. "Shut the fuck up. Live some life." Manesa shook her head. "They need you more than me here." Manesa poked him in the head, and fell over on her side in the boa. He felt reenergized. He guessed that was the cool part of having a friend with endless energy.
He left her behind on the boat, protected by a male Faerie. It was there, he had help from the Garden Master Faerie, Noa, Reno and a few others from his former class. They took down the dragonfaerie from hell. At least that's what Reno called it. He inherited powers from the dragon, he learned Doublespells. It was not drawn but as a sorcerer he 'ate' the dragon's mind and downloaded the manifestation. He needed this during the oncoming war. Manesa explained something important when they returned. "There's at least 10,000 sorceresses and only 5 of us that aren't evil like this." Lugatta looked thoughtful. He screwed his head shut. It seemed impossible. He hated this religion, but he trusted in Manesa's prophecies. "We have to prepare Balamb. I'm sure Squall will know what to do." Squall chimed in. "Frankly? I don't know more than you to know. The prophecy I read states it's time for you three to lead Balamb. I was Commander for twenty years. I need a damn break." Manesa huffs softly. "You're our commander." Squall looked annoyed. "And I'm saying, you three are smarter than me at this point. I'm getting old, I'm 35 now. It's time for new blood."
"Rinoa. What do we do about Rinoa?," It was Lugatta who asked. Squall looked distant. "You know my duties there." Lugatta frowned. That night he found himself sleeping in his private dorm, tomorrow would be the day they start vigorious training for the students and seeds. The sky looked red today, for longer than dusk. It unsettled him. He wakes up in the middle of the night, to his sheets rustling and someone crawling into bed with him. He cracks open an eye and smiles. "Change your mind?" She shakes her head. Manesa. "Then what do you want?" He wants to connect the dots. Manesa just curled in tight and went to sleep. "Go for Reno instead. He's been in love with you since he was ten." Manesa made a cold sound, a burr sound. "Stop ignoring me." Manesa looked up. "I want no regrets and I don't care anymore." Lugatta slept with her into the night and found her gone in the morning. He was angry they didn't talk about it. Later she left him her broach, and he realized something. She was telling him conceal his powers.
He was suspicious, he confronted her after three weeks of training and she was throwing up every meal in the evening. "We didn't even have sex. We just cuddled. What happened?" Manesa looked grief stricken. ".... I guess male sorcerers can immaculate." Lugatta's eyes widened and his stomach soured. "I didn't mean to..." Manesa laughed, a coughing fit came. Lugatta admitted it softly. "I probably ... anyway." He plead the fifth. "We shared a dream. Enough said." Manesa looked sad. He knows what she said, but he's a brat who gets his way. She lives.
Before the first battle came, Esthar and Galbadia gardens were on Balamb's continent. They would face down at dawn. That night they broke bread and talked until three in the morning. Before the first battle, they stood outside the gates at dawn. His nerves were resolute, he threw the broch in the trash. Turned to Reno and Manesa. "I'm not wearing that thing anymore. I figured out how to stop out of control powers I have." Manesa pursed her lips. "You can handle it." She drew her gunblade, and he eyed her, looking annoyed. "Dude. No. You're ...." he looked at Reno, who looked pissed. Manesa sighed, leaned up on her tippy toes and kissed him. He bust out in nervous laughter. Why was a one night stand so easy? And this was harder than most words to speak. Hard to communicate even in mouth against mouth. Reno stormed off. Manesa sighed and frowned. Lugatta glared at Reno's backside. "I'm done. You won't date me because of that asshole. I knew it."
Manesa started walking off. "Guess what? We have a battle now or neogations with these two gardens." Lugatta rolled his eyes. "You're not going." Manesa snorted, running off. "My kid. You're not going." Manesa crossed her arms and glared at him in return. "I'm fine." Lugatta teared up. "No. Go back to your damn dorm. I'll see you later." He knew Manesa's thoughts, he was disgusted. "I won't do that. I won't." Manesa walked by and punched him in the arm, gently. "You're such an emotional pumpkin." Lugatta smiled, his disgust not forgotten but his brief anger subsided as quickly as it came. "At least I won." Manesa disappeared. There was a battle and the two gardens retreated, Balamb was stronger, at least for now. He came back covered in wounds, but they weren't severe.
Rinoa patched him up and she hiccuped. "You remind me of my husband, if he would just open up." Lugatta frowned. "I'm nothing like your husband. He's an emotionless tool sometimes." Rinoa glared. "He's a good man. Don't assume." Lugatta laughed bitterly. "You assumed I'm like your husband. Is it the hair? The eyes?" Rinoa blushed. "Or is it that I'm younger than him? Squall's my bestfriend, one of them anyway and I love another. Don't try getting in my pants just because I'm a friendly flirt." Rinoa looked livid. "You are such an asshole. Have that Maney girl patch you up the rest of the way. I wasn't going to do anything." Lugatta knew more was going on than that. "We don't need all these sorceresses. I think you're trying to eat his brain mentally or making us an all sorceress planet." Rinoa crossed her arms, and looked a bit crazy, laughing. "Time compression isn't fully gone. We need us. Do you understand?" Lugatta stood. "It's not gone because of you. You're making us young forever, at least yourself. I think you were..."
Squall walked in. "Leave. My wife and I have things to discuss." Lugatta nodded, irritated and found Reno and Manesa talking. He watched as Reno tried to shove her against a wall, she pulled out her gunblade, blade to her throat. "I severely dislike you right no.." Roland chuckled, turning around and walking away. "I'll out it now. I'm a powerful sorcerer, I have been since childhood. Guess what happens now? I make you lose that baby one way or the other." Manesa sniffled, roundhouse kicking him in the back, sending him flying. Lugatta decided to intervene. Manesa looked down. Lugatta put a hand to her shoulder to comfort her, and turned to Reno. "Go to your dorm. We'll talk later and find out why you keep hurting her everytime she reveals she loves me."
Manesa walked off but Lugatta grabbed her by the hand, holding on tight. She looked embarrassed, looking around and took her back to his dorm. It was there the communications radio went off and he was defiantly pissed. Someone told them both keep a eye on Rinoa, and Reno. Manesa sat on the edge of the bed, their knees touched and he kissed her. The second tingle. "Fuck Reno Heart. I'm taking this decision into my own hands. I don't believe in destiny, maybe fate but not destiny." Manesa looked green around the ears. "... Okay." She started having a panic attack, then suddenly the dorm lights went out, he let out an unmanly scream and Manesa let out a loud laugh between hiccups. "I hate doing this in the dark, but you and I? We're golden." Manesa's breathing was heavily without interaction and for some reason when the lights kicked on two minutes later. Manesa's clothes were in a pile, messy like she just disappeared. He stared, and the dorm was decrepit and strange looking. "Maney? Maney?," he questioned, getting up and looking around. He smelled the faint smell of lavender, sandalwood and citrus.
He started running through empty, lightless garden. Nothing was here. Balamb was cold. He stared at the forestless fields, feeling endangered. His sorcerer powers were intact. "Manesa?," he questioned quietly. Did she...abandon him? No, she was in danger. He had to find out where she went. He looked at the watch on his wrist and looked around, the sky was briefly red and as he left out the gate, the garden disappeared and the sky slowly turned blue. "There was a time jump...Manesa. Reno. Where are you?" he rubbed at his eyes. Rinoa had to behind this. He wanted to hurt her. Three hours jump? The world should be .. he took a deep breath and went sleep at an empty hotel in a nearby ghost=town.
He woke up to the sounds of crying and the waves crashing on the beach. He doesn't know where to figure out where he is. He wakes up and there's a guide of sorts, a moogle, he explains his name is Mars and he has the answer to life's problems. After the careful of explanation of gods, holiness, and rather his powers work or not, he hears a voice in the background. [i]Lugatta. What happened to you? Where are you?[/i] That's when he realizes something, Manesa must have came through too, but she's stuck in a dimensional rift of sorts. He's studied string theory enough to know that this is a difficult task to accomplish and he'll need to study this world's lines to get her out.
Besides Manesa being in trouble, and Reno being an ass. What's Gaia's fate back home? Who will help Garden Grow? Leonhart wasn't too adamant about helping the world grow without some help and Lugatta doesn't think Manesa can handle being second in command alone.
[/font][/div] [div style="text-align:center;border-top-color:rgb(204, 204, 204);border-top-style:solid;border-top-width:3px;font-variant:small-caps;"][font face="georgia" size="5"]V. AUTHOR[/font][/div][div style="height:130px;overflow:auto;text-align:justify;"][font face="trebuchet ms" size="1"]PLAYER ALIAS:: Tristan OTHER CHARACTERS:: Selphie ROLE-PLAYING EXPERIENCE:: Many Many Years. HOW YOU FOUND US:: I was already here. NOTES FOR CONSIDERATION:: Hm... I feel like he needs more flaws, but he's good. I guess? NEW CHARACTER QUOTE :: "Light it up like a baby grand piano, my fingers play a texture so enraged. My passions full of words I can't say, my actions speak louder than a modern day tirade. I'm not who you think, I'm not who I am, but I am man who always has a plan." - Lugatta Sampson. ROLE-PLAY SAMPLE:: AH HUH. I DON"T NEED IT! You told me![/font][/div][div style="text-align:right;font-size:8px;border-top:#fff solid 0px;"][a href="http://adoxographyv2.boards.net/user/1299"]
Good afternoon! How are you doing today, Twist?
Ah, you called me Twist. Someone called me Twistan, I hate it, but I rather like to be called Trist. Today I'm feeling pretty good, I have a splitting headache but everything is more than swell. Everything is interesting right now. How are you? Doing well? I hope you ate breakfast.
So, whereabouts are you from? How long have you been on the island?
I'm from Denver Colorado, home of the zombie outbreak. I'm a resident Evil Degeneration fan, the cgi film like the games. I don't trust this island though, I remember Code Veronica and how getting stuck here during a zombie apocalypse would be absolute bullshit.
So, you're a zombie survivalist?
Not really, it would be conventionally terrible. I want a community surviving against an alien invasion. Much more interesting then gaping maws. Ever watched the Host?
What's your favourite thing about Put-in-Bay so far? What about your least favourite?
Oh, it's beautiful. Who doesn't love the beach? I haven't had a heck of a thunderstorm here so far, that livened up my spirit and revived my heart. I haven't been feeling too good since coming here. I miss home. I miss life. I miss everything.
How much of your family is around these parts? What about back where you're from?
I don't know, I haven't seen them in a long time. I think they forgot about me, I think I'm ... forgotten. ha, who cares right? I'm not throwing a pity party, subject change!
pity party? Seems like it. Tell me something, do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Are you hard to get close to?
No, and yes. I ask you questions, I want some answers and why do they burn. I don't judge, but I never reveal my own secrets. It scares me to. I only reveal how much I care about you and why I want you to get better in life. Sorry, very intimate question. Are you my personal savior? I already have one, he's in heaven.
Tell me about what you do for a living! Where do you work? Do you like it?
I write, a lot. I'm trying to write novels, I struggle plenty but I have plenty from my last two novels. It'll be okay. I write action adventure and fantasy novels, sometimes with erotica but sparingly. I am not a porn artist, but a romantic.
Where do you want to be in life? If you could have anything your way, what would you change?
Pizza and Pasta! Saffron and Rice! Baguettes and Croissants! Yogurt and Gyros! Sashami and Sticky Rice! Bagels and Eggs! My ass wants to travel.
What's your favorite name? Male and Female?
Agatha, it means Good. And Joshua, it means God Hears.
What's your favorite character's name?
Yuna is one of my favorite characters. She used to be a lot like me when I was young, she gave up her life almost to become a summoner and save the world. She wanted to get rid of sin, because it was hurting the world. Tidus is my second favorite character, because he tells her calm down, take a breather, think about yourself and in the end, he disappears and she's alone but she still has her friends.
What's wrong? One minute you're hot, one minute your cold? What's up, Trist?
I have Amnesia. i was hit in the head with a 8-ball years ago on the way home from the pool hall and I forgot everything and everyone I loved. I'm like Axel, who forgot Roxas and Sora and Hayner and Riku and Namine, everyone he tried to help. I went to oblivion and I was a starfish and starfish may not look like they have personalities, but they have a whole world inside of their minds. Their colorfulness is their power. Every grain of sand is a friend. Every seashell a star. Every buoy, a lifesaver.
You're a starfish? You're poetic, you're more of the ocean, a strong wave in the deep blue!
Thanks! I identify with your poetry. You're good at it, but I'm not the ocean, I'm a wave. I'm part of the alantic, I'm deep sea researcher, and every fish I see, heavenly transcends. I always wanted to be a mermaid, that's who I was before I became a starfish. i always identified with them, even though people saw them as cold, and calculating, I saw them as brave to swim in something that dangerous. Everyday an adventure? Of course. Part of sea, part of that world.
Have you ever been in love with a human?
How about an android? That I loved until they became human. Then I continued to love them for them even after my task was complete. They were never dispensible, like everyoen else wasn't either but they were the Cats I decided to keep. Cats? Well, Casper and Cat from the Casper movie. I guess you could call me a ghost, I don't stick around and I tend to flounder out until I'm gone away for good. I'm a ghost in the machine, I'm a ghost in the world. No one knows who I am, I just cease to exist.
this reminds me of City of Angels? I think you hate that one song, Iris?
Who are you? You must know me. I hate that song, I guess...it's true that I want some people know me but I'm scared they'll get hurt. I have tasks besides writing books. I ... do something no one would believe. I'm a mind samurai. I have a katana in my heart and a I will never commit sppekku because I don't agree with suicide, or leaving people behind that need help. I guess you can call me The Samurai Angel.
But the song, you didn't answer? Do you like it?
I played it out as a child. That's all. I hate it now. The song I like most is such Great Heights by the Postal Service. Also, the district sleeps tonight by them as well and Clark Gable. They're about being with people you love, not really romantically.
Why are you so scared of love?
I'm afraid but I'll be okay. I love the way I should, the way I'm supposed to. Like a child, who is an adult wrapped in a teenager. My mom twisted my head up, I guess. My whole family did. It scares me to think of losing forever and being heartbroken, so I keep my heart empty and full at the same time. My heart is a home for everyone...I think I'm mostly afraid, of being self-absorbed and loving someone so much that I forget how to protect others. romantic love is a distraction. i'm scared I'll fall behind and someone will get hurt. I'm not saying I'm not in love, I'm saying it's nearly impossible for anything to work. There's also distance.
Tell me some things about yourself. What are you like? What do you like?
I'm compassionate, caring, hardheaded, loving, brave, funny, witty, helpful, creative, artistic in a way, colorful, humble, multifaceted, not to toot my own horn. I like food, fruit, veggies, well seasoned, protein packed foods that aren't all meats. I want to be a pescatarian but I'm voting for vegatarian more. I like everyone and everything, I want to do something that matters. I hate being the center of attention and I'm disgusted by high praises towards myself. I'm a ghost, a ghost in the machine.
What is one thing you are most proud of? How about something you regret the most?
I'm proud of the fact that I love so much. I love people all the time. I love the world as my Father prescribed, to make it better, to help it grow, to help people live and strive to be the tomorrow people.
What's one thing you want to accomplish before you die?
Being held. That's all.
That's a simple request. Why just that?
I've been held about three times in my life, my childhood I don't remember. My Grandmother, my mother and a teen boy I grew to love as a deep friend. Just held, that's all. Falling asleep with someone. I don't have a healthy libido. I have a hard time getting turned on, but I'm not asexual either. I want sex when in love, which is rarer than you think.
You seem ....a little off. Are you male or female?
I'm trans to a point. I haven't transitioned yet. I'm a man in a woman's body, but I feel more like a person at the end of the day. I want to take T, but I don't at the same time.
How long have you felt this way?
Since I was about 3. I can't figure out why, I never liked dolls or make up absolutely growing up. I'm a tom boy. I wanted to play Basketball and Football with the boys.
What would your best friend in the world have to say about you? What about your worst enemy?
I don't have a bestfriend outside of the imaginary people in my head. I haven't had in one in awhile. I have enemies, but they don't know who I am sometimes. i don't know, my favorite Aunt described me as I don't know. She always said I was really intelligent and compassionate and giving. Maternal/Paternal. I'm a mother bear.
If you could have one weapon in the apocalypse? What would it be?
My mind, and a funny tune stuck in my head that entertains me or an MP3 player.
Enough fooling around... let's talk about that someone special.
if I don't have a bestfriend, why would I have someone I love romantically? This is why I live vicariously through writing, because I'm scared of getting close to anyone but also, I'm terrified of being alone. I'm isolated a lot, I decided move to the island and survive on coconut, because I'm coconuts.
You have one last chance to say anything you want. Go for it.
Love is an adventure, but better to write it, than to live it. I've got my head in the clouds, but I'm grounded in reality more than people like to believe. i don't like living with a broken heart.
Looks like we're out of time! Thanks for chatting with us!
33 ◦ est ◦ I got blue shoes, I'm so blue, I got blue shoooooes and I'm seven months due for some blue tunes
Love is a distraction but I'm ready for it from friends and others. That's all.