InsaneJournal

Current mood:	amused
Current music:	Bottom-Tool-Undertow
Entry tags:	anthony martin, prompt #05

Prompt #5 - My Greatest Fear
Oh, I have all the usual fears. Invalidation of my reality, that I'll wake up tomorrow and be a teenager heading off to high school again, that no one will hear what I want to say or sing, and that I'll slip in the shower and be paralyzed for the rest of my life. I don't suppose anything is my greatest fear above all of them. Every now and then, something grips me and I am terrified, until I really think about the probability of it happening.

Really though, the big fears that gripped me in my teens are all over now. Death, disease, accident, embarrassment, public humiliation, and loss... well, I've seen most of that. Obviously I'm not dead. However, I don't struggle with any major fear or denial of it. I've seen it. Up close and personal.

I've lost my first and most intense love. I've lost cars, homes, music, manuscripts... Computers have crashed. My world has fallen apart. I've been consumed by drugs and alcohol and come out of that with only a few scars you'll ever see. What's to be afraid of, now?

I've been through that phase that sends other creative types into a massive downward spiral. That mid to late twenties thing. The "THIS is all there is" realization that serves to send such fantastic people into the abyss so young. Yeah, once you've grappled those big things, what is there to really hold onto so tightly to spend your every waking moment quaking in fear?