InsaneJournal

Current mood:	morose
Current music:	Vessel-Nine Inch Nails-Year Zero

Prompt #3 - Thoughts on Love
Love, the great, everlasting torture of hope. Those soft creatures of the opposite sex. Or perhaps the dabbling I have done in the realm of my own sex should have offered up some kind of thesis here on which I could expound, here. However, no. There is no solution to love.

Except perhaps a personal, final solution. *smirks*

I ache to know someone in such an intimate and complete way that she would be me and I would be her. I am skeptical that this sort of thing is more than utter nonsense, though. The odds are not stacked in my favor for experiencing the sort of bleeding into someone else and then having her (or him?) bleed back into me. Only this odd distraction that fills me with sexual needs over which I don't have much control. Only the breaking of my heart when Ariel leaves for San Jose for months.

We've slept with others outside the relationship. We made this decision long before it was a nice, little internet subculture. We both just knew this wasn't the way human beings really operated.

But to pretend that the stories I've written don't come from that wish that lives deep down under the materialistic philosophy... well, I'd be a moron to think anyone is fooled by my cynicism.

And do I tell you who taught me that there might be more than the selfish seeking comfort and a warm body? Do I tell you how I lost her when I was young? Do I tell you that I wish for her so much that perhaps it is this wish that makes me think she's back in the flesh, and seeking me out?

No, probably not yet. I shouldn't admit to these things. Oh, but they are there.

Hell, if I could dig her from the ground, mostly rotted away and have her with me like that, I'd do it. *whispers "Sienna"*