InsaneJournal

Prompt #5 - What is your greatest fear? [Private]
I don't particularly like talking about things such as this. Fears and all.

I'm not sure sure what my greatest fear is, but I suppose it's my sins being discovered by people. I deliberately avoid talking about what happened during the second world war because a lot of what I saw is shameful to me. I've seen the own evil the leaders of my country did and...I followed the orders and that's not an excuse at all. I know others have used it, but I should've refused to follow them or something of the sort.

I'm afraid people will find out.

Mostly the only things I'll talk about is fighting in the Wehrmacht, but usually not other things. Too shameful and I'm afraid of people. I'm afraid that I'm evil in some way for taking part in certain things and that I'll go to Hell. I pray to God and take part in the sacraments and confess to my priest and I still fear that I'll go to Hell. Because even if no one knows about my past, He and I will still know the truth and sometimes I wonder what God is like to let horrible things happen. Perhaps He is not the kind to forgive people if He is not so kind to His own people.

Is God a loving and forgiving God or is He a wrathful one? I fear finding this out.