I Resist the Muses

Jade Dragon Prompt #5: Fear

What do I fear most of all? I fear never seeing my home world again. I fear never seeing my family again. This world is interesting and I have really enjoyed exploring it but I don’t think that I would like to stay here forever. And even if I somehow came to the decision to stay here, I’d want to have the option to visit back home.

I also fear never experiencing my dragon form again, never flying again. That is wrapped up with the fear of never being able to return home of course. I believe the two are intertwined. That I can not be a dragon here in this world for some reason or other. This world seems devoid of magic, at least the kind of magic I grew up around.

And yet there is another fear. There is a little part of me that fears that maybe I really am crazy. That there is no otherworld, that there is only this mundane world with no dragons and no magic and I only dreamed the world that I remember as home. That I am only an ordinary yet troubled girl. That may be my biggest fear.

(198 words)

Love is funny, you know?

I'm not one known for really keeping her feelings secret. Definitely one of those types who loves too much for their own good, really. The love of my... well, I'd used to say life, but your vocabulary gets a little funny after you've been deceased, but I'm getting a little off topic here. Cassie, Cassie Hughes. Best mates but so much more. She knew it, too, but she couldn't... she wouldn't let herself admit it. At least, not until it was too late.

And how much does it cosmically suck that after she dies as well, we don't get to be together forever in some beautiful sapphic afterlife bliss? I mean really, it was... the worst. One kiss, one amazing, beautiful, mind blowing, life altering kiss, and then... she tells me she's going away and that I won't see her.

I didn't think I'd be able to move on from that, but then Maya came along, and... well, she was taken from me as well.

It really sucks, being a lesbian ghost. Love gets too complicated and... well, it gets hard to know what to hang on to, now.

Muse: Thelma Bates
Fandom: Hex
Words: 190

Love is such an easy word to throw around, and a lot of people confuse duty or lust for love.

Real love takes years to grow. Take me and Rodolphus. When I first met him, I thought he was the most annoying prig in the universe. But my duty to treat him politely kept me from boxing his ears, and soundly offending his family. Even though the Lestrange family name doesn't carry as much weight as the Black family name, you still don't offend another family if you can avoid it.

Our parents kept pushing us together, and it was obvious to me that they wanted us to marry. Of course, I would've had the choice not to marry him, but by the time I was of marrying age, I had spent enough time with him that I learned of his.. better qualities. But even then, I can't say that I loved him. Lust, yes. But not love. Not yet.

I can't really say when I fell in love with him. I know it was quite early on in our marriage. But I found that I had grown to adore this annoying, silly man that I had chosen to marry. The hardest thing about Azkahban was the fact that I couldn't see him, because I found he had become that important to me. I needed to know he was alive, so I could have a reason to keep on fighting. As much as I hate to admit it, I wasn't sure if my Lord was alive. So all I had left was my Rodolphus.

But, anyway.. I do think that love exists. A lot of people would say I'm too insane to love, but they'd be wrong. Of course, my love for Rodolphus is a weakness. But I find it's a weakness I don't mind having.

I don't particularly like talking about things such as this. Fears and all.

( References to WWII )

I occasionally find something worthwhile in the muggle (non-magical) world and often that is music. It's an amusing thing that muggles are capable of creating nuclear bombs, which can cause far more massive destruction than any wizard could achieve, but also create beautiful things as well. Of course, magic is more beautiful than anything they could produce, but I do have to occasionally give them credit.

Here in this strange...hotel, I guess you would call it, I have discovered a song by a group called Depeche Mode. I found that the lyrics really did suit me as you could say and the feel of the song just fit.

Morality would frown upon
Decency look down upon
The scapegoat fate's made of me
But I promise now, my judge and jurors
My intentions couldn't have been purer
My case is easy to see

I don't intend on ever saying sorry for what I do because I believe I am justified.

I fear death.

( Okay, it's not as simple as that. )

My greatest fear?

Well, how about you tell me yours first and then perhaps I'll tell you. You see, my specialty is in finding out the fears of others and one rule that I have is that I never tell others mine because they might use it against me much like I might use it against them. Call me paranoid, but that's how I am.

Why do I like knowing the fears of others? Well, when I was in high school, there were bullies who preyed upon my own fears and I learned the power of fear from that and other incidents. And I quite like having that power over other people. The feeling you get when you have someone screaming their head off when they hallucinate their greatest fear is exhilarating and I don't ever want someone getting that from me.

So, I'm not going to share my greatest fear out in the open.

( [Private] )