InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "A joy forever!"

Jacklyn Baker (called_jack) wrote in violethour_rpg,
@ 2012-02-15 17:31:00

Entry tags:

eagle nest, jack, saga, week five

Week Five - Sunday morning - Hotel El Capitan
WHO: Jack and Saga
WHERE: Lost Girls homebase
WHY: After the greenhouses, Jack needs to talk to the boss
RATING: PG-13

Jack covered the distance between the greenhouses and home at run and by the time she arrived, her lungs were burning. She coughed and while she could taste the acid of bile in her throat, she did not get sick. Jack thought she might pass out and it sounded like an improvement. The initial rush of adrenaline was receding, leaving behind guilt and horror at what she'd done. She wished desperately that she could close her eyes and wake again with a second chance at the morning and none of this would be happening.

Jack told the first girl she saw that she needed to talk to Saga but could only shaker her head at the frantic inquiries about why she was covered in blood.

(Post a new comment)

lost_saga
2012-02-18 02:17 pm UTC (link)

Saga heard the commotion from her room at the top of the El Capitain, and rose, dragging on the previous nights clothes and heading downstairs. Because she'd just got up, she looked much more of a mess than she normally did, no face on, last nights clothes and bedraggled hair, a half length blade in her hand as she left the room, bare feet slapping on the tiled stairs of the pink hotel.

When she came down her eyes landed on Jack, blood spattered and scared. Saga put the blade down carefully so as not to startle her more, gesturing one of the girls forward to pick the blade up so it wasn't lying in the middle of the floor. "Jack? Come on?"

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	called_jack 2012-02-18 03:31 pm UTC (link)
	Jack came when she was called silently. She didn't know what to say or even have any idea of how to say it. The horror and guilt were overwhelming but somewhere down below that was selfish fear: what's going to happen to me now? She wanted to curl up in bed with the covers over head and wait for this all to go away. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lost_saga
2012-02-18 03:43 pm UTC (link)

Saga looked at the girl, seeing the look on her face. Saga had worn that look once, many years ago, many kills ago. There had been no one to protect her then, to help her hide the body, or talk her through how to cope, so Saga had become that person to her girls.

"We'll go up to my room, get you cleaned up, and we can talk about what happened without all the others around, OK?" Saga said softly.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	called_jack 2012-02-18 03:50 pm UTC (link)
	"O-okay." Her voice broke and she felt dangerously close to tears but none fell. The girl followed along at her leader's side silently, hands clenched into fists and arms close to her sides as if she was afraid to touch anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lost_saga
2012-02-18 04:11 pm UTC (link)

Saga led the way upstairs to her room. It was close to luxury versus what a lot of the others lived in and Saga always made sure she had a bowl of clean water up there every night so she could wash in privacy in the mornings. It was going to come in useful tonight.

Saga closed the door gently and turned to Jack, pointing her in the direction of the soap and water. "Tell me?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

called_jack
2012-02-18 04:26 pm UTC (link)

She couldn't explain, not until she was finished washing. It took longer than Jack expected; not only were her hands and arms speckled red with blood but she'd also somehow managed to smear some on her face. The water was pink when she was done.

"I - I didn't mean to," Jack began, feeling like this was important to establish. She didn't know how she was able to talk about this but Jack had always prided herself on being tough and strong and she had to find that now.

"I was gonna go skate out by the greenhouses. There was some drifter there, stealing. I told him off but he wouldn't leave so I got my knife out - I was just trying to scare him off, I swear. And - and he tried to get by me and I grabbed his arm and he moved and I don't even know how it happened but..but I killed him."

She felt clammy all over. "It was an accident."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ooc: sorry its taken ages I didn't get a notif

lost_saga
2012-02-25 02:03 pm UTC (link)

Saga shifted the water, moving it so Jack didn't have to look at the diluted blood, and not saying a word until the other woman was finished. Interuption could easily stop the flow of her words and make her clam up, never getting it out.

Saga remembered her first kill, the terror of it, the fear that her soul was broken. She'd moved on from it, and taken many more lives for many reasons, but the first one would never fade.

"You did your job as a lost girl Jack, I'm not gonna yell at you for that, we've all made mistakes and it was an accident, it never would have happened if the guy had listened to you." Saga pulled Jack into a hug. "It's OK."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

called_jack
2012-02-25 05:17 pm UTC (link)

Jack wanted to be comforted and soothed, to be told that everything was going to be all right and believe it. She was afraid if she let herself relax whatever self-control she had holding herself together would crumble and she would completely fall apart.

She only let herself be hugged for a few moments and then she pulled away, body tense. "I don't know what I'm s'posed to do."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lost_saga 2012-02-25 06:40 pm UTC (link)
	"I'll have the body moved, don't worry...It won't be my first body dump, it won't even be my tenth." Saga murmured, approving of Jack's refusal to fall apart. This was a proper lost girl, a real fighter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	called_jack 2012-02-25 08:38 pm UTC (link)
	Jack wondered briefly how you could get used to this, when killing became normal. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. "I forgot my - my skateboard's still there. But what do I do now just go back to normal?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lost_saga
2012-02-25 08:46 pm UTC (link)

"No Jack, you're never normal again...because...you've taken a life, and it doesn't matter why, but it becomes...like a shrapnel wound, you become normal around it as you heal, never the same normal, but a new kind...we live in a different world now, no one's gonna CSI your ass for defending what's yours. You did what you had to...and now you have to deal with that in your own mind, but I'm not gonna yell at you, judge...I'm just gonna be around if you need me, and I'll get your board back." Saga's tone was soft and non-judgemental.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	called_jack 2012-02-25 10:07 pm UTC (link)
	"Okay." Jack felt out of place, not sure what to do with herself, and she fidgeted, tucking her hair behind her ears. If only she was sure that she had to do what she did. "I can go. I mean, to my roon. I don't want to go with to the, you know..the body." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lost_saga 2012-02-26 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	"Of course you can...I wouldn't expect you to be there, that's the point of having a tribe." Saga replied. "If you need me I'm not hard to find Jack." (Reply to this) (Parent)