Below are the most recent 6 friends' journal entries.

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
barbayat	11:03a	Nostalgic moment I rather have nightmares than dreams like tonight. I dreamt about the time when I was on tour with my parents and I woke up in the dream being in our camping van. I soon realised they had not left a key - meaning I could not leave it. That might sound a bit nightmare like - but when I woke up for real, all I could think about was not how much I hated this time - but how much their work then meant to my parents. Them traveling through Germany with their model train show was something that lasted since I was in kindergarden and only stopped in 2003, when every asshole in the country had a cheaply slapped together stationary model train show. I might have hated traveling with them or how much time they invested in their work - but those were awesome model train landscapes. Now nearly everything is dismantled and sold off cheaply in parts. I really hope my mom is honest about it does not bother her to destroy all them but I feel it must be awful for both of them. And while I would never wish to going back being cramped up with them in a small camping trailer again, I guess in away I miss those times a bit. Or maybe I just miss being young and hopeful. Wow just listening to Cher's Believe you know "Do you believe in life after love?" and I wonder "Do I believe anymore in life with love?" Being single is great 90% of the time, I rather be alone than being tied to some stupid asshole. And yet, there is always the feeling how nice it would be to have someone around to support you emotionally, that you can do stuff with - but do not have to. That is sort of the problem. I do not think I could bear a relationship where the guy comes home every night. Diether Nuhr certainly is right being with someone who is on tour helps the relationship. I need time for myself but it would also be great to have someone to take care for and have to look after. But I mean and adult someone who enjoys being spoiled a bit from time to time and also likes spoiling me in return. Someone who is his or her own person and sexually compatible with me. Sometimes, even though I am just 30, I feel like this bitter old harpie and then again, I feel like still being 18. 18 because I am legally unrestricted otherwise I might say 16 or 17. Although I must say, I never really was a typical teenager. If my parents were not so bad a being parents - they would not have had any problems with me. I did not drink, it never occured to me to try other drugs, I always called when I was late knowing they worry, I never had parties at our house when they were gone and I liked going to school. I guess all of that still applies mor or less, I despise alcohol, the only drug I am on is caffeine (bad diet pepsi/pepsi max addiction), I still call to let them know I am okay, if I have a party it is without alcohol and they like my friends for being so quiet and I would not want to become a teacher if I hated the idea of going to school. Although I wonder how I will get along with teens today - I could not relate to teens when I was one, so I guess I have to hope for the best. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Bon Jovi - I'd Die for You (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 28th, 2009
barbayat	6:01p	Vampire Diaries: Crap Wow, my dream began with substituting Bella Swann for Elena (well tv Elena is a total dumb bitch from what I heard so I do not feel bad about that). She tried to find out about some mysterious guy who sort of re-incarnated through the centuries and always gets killed off by the bad guys. She was standing at the lake and just reveiling to Damon (who looked like the tv version) and a pathetic behaving pod!Stephan that she just found a way to find out more about his latest death were he dies in the lake. Stephan said nobody knew when exactly he died. She was sure she would find out - and in a way that would boos the ratings - because it had to do with sex. Poor girl, jumping naked in a freezing lake has nothing to do with sex. I must thank my dream!Damon for pointing that out. Being a total Mary Sue, she found the skeleton in the like right away. AFter that I can not remember much of the plot line. At one point, Bellena got mixed in with Bonnie it seems (although I do not know if Bonnie in the tv show also gets prophetic dreams) and it showed her sitting at the shore of a lake and then Klaus (bad vampire form the fourth book) childed her for trying to dream for information and dragged into the lake. Then she ended up in a medieval seeming world and suddenly she was back in highschool. That was so horrific. There she met her equally braindead bitch girl friends who were as stereotypical hollow, stupid and whatnot and naturally everyone of them was played by an adult actress. *shudders* At least some comfort was a scene at the lake with Damon and a bunny (no not a real bunny, but that is what the dream labled those exchangable girls he met with). He tried to do this sharp finger nail cuts throat thing and she backed up, with just a scratch and said something like: But now know why I am falling in love with you or something. If at all my dream made me more fond of the new Damon, as he killed her nonetheless and drank her dry. Okay, the bed part was when he came back to the school, Elena found out in th news about the body, she cried and he looked rather guild stricken. Who wants to see that? I'd rathr see what happened to the stuff he found in the lake which looked like parts of a ship. I guess what my subconcious was trying to tell me, that I might even care to watch Vampire Diaries if it was not for those awfully written empty headed bitched (like the hysteric cow who slapped him and lived, hello? Not a show I care much about ... first of all the behaviour sucks and secondly a good show with a character that dumb would have killed her off - because they knew their audience would be incapable of accepting such silly behaviour otherwise) and the danger of spikification (you know turning a cool villain like Spike into a wuss) formerly known as pussification. Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
barbayat	4:18a	Nocturnal activities Yep, my sleep rhythm is totally fucked over. All thanks to that stupid bed. In a good bed I can sleep when I am just a little bit exhausted. In this one only when I am really tired. The problem is, I can not seem to concentrate on my uni stuff. It is 4.20 am and I am just thinking about what and if I should eat. I guess I try to finish some fanstuff and see if I can find a bit of peace of mind to work on my important stuff. It is not that much for the weekend - but I would feel better if I got this assignment done. Also funny - my laptop crashed and totally threw me off. But at least it always comes back alright after shutting it off. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
mirisa_ardruna	12:59p	It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... The bad news is that it's been starting to look like it for WEEKS now. Seriously. WEEKS. As in there were still Halloween things up when Christmas stuff started popping up on people's houses and lawns and such, and being TURNED ON!! There have been lights LIT on O Street for weeks now! I've seen the Twelve Days of Christmas decorations up for ages now too--and one store had a toy soldier lit up. South Pointe's been Christmased up already too. *shakes head* And Christmas music is playing intermittently on the radio--although there was a distinct WTF moment for me when a Sirius station billed as "love songs" was playing nonstop Christmas music. Um. Yeah. They HAVE a Christmas-only station! What the hell are they taking over the love songs for?! Now, in Nebraska, since the weather is a game of Russian Roulette in November, it's reasonably understandable that people get things up early so they aren't trying to do it in snow. But having it up is one thing. Having it TURNED ON is quite another. Standard protocol states that Christmas decorations may be turned on and such after Thanksgiving, or on Thanksgiving night. That'd be TOMORROW, kids. Oy. Anyway, after tomorrow, Christmas me up. I'll take it then. But when you see turkeys AND candy canes up at the SAME HOUSE... it's a little weird. In the meantime, bright blessings on all your Thanksgivings out there. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Eve Sarajevo (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, November 20th, 2009
barbayat	9:11a	Almost forgot: Weird Joker dream tonight Even though I do not really like the movie, Ledger's Joker always manages to invade my dreams. This one was really strange, I think my approval for the Sewing Fanlisting had something to do with it. Apparantly I was either working or shopping in a store where you can buy fabrics and stuff, when the Joker showed up there. I do not really recall what happened or if there had been others - I just remember I was picking out fabrics for myself, and he was standing around and talking to me, when someone new came in and found themselves pretty much dead. Weird as dreams are, somehow this place was a house with a garden and it seemed that it was the hideout of the gang whatever. I think he tried to freak out my dream self, which just stayed calm, no matter what he did, which included close contact with sharp objects. In the dream I fell asleep again, woke up and it seemed that neither he or any of his gang were in sight so I quickly got out of there. Kind of strange, during my run, the landscape looked sometimes like a half finished modeltrain scape, so really weird. Eventually, I found a phone at some post office (ironically, a typical German one, yellow with huge letters P O S T). There, I took out my purse and wanted to open the compartment with the coins, when I realised it was heavier and better filled than before. I slowly opened it, which was not easy, as some fumes came out. I decided to ask some of the guys who eyed me strangely to open it and threw it over. He just sneered at me, said something about weak girls and then opened it and keeled over as some yellow gas hit him. Wow, was I glad I did not open that, funny thing is my dream self was not even surprised at that. The real fun part was, that the guy sitting next to the now dead on the floor guy, was the Joker. Which was indeed more worrysome, especially when the location seemed surrounded by more of his thugs. At first he just threatened my dreamself with a gun and then laughed and disappeared out of sight his goons following his example. Weird or what? Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Magic Affair - Passion and Desire (2 Comments |Comment on this)
barbayat	8:31a	20 days left Wow how fast time passes. There is so much I wanted to do besides you know studying - but somehow with the flu and catching up I ended doing almost nothing. I guess I just need to focus for the remaining days. I need to search for literature for my history term paper for my home university, I need to finish the final Essay for the Austen course, I need to work through the Foundation of Grammar terms to be able to write the test in week 10 and I also have a final exercise to hand in. Then one last assignment for Semantics in Week 10. However, I want to work a bit on fanlistings and Maratofel as well. I guess, I go by a this for that system. For every real work I do, I do a bit of fun stuff. Today, I start with cleaning up the place a bit, bringing away bottles to the recyling container, wash my laundry and also type up a few things, so I do not need to bring the papers back with me. Current Mood: cold Current Music: Taio Cruz - Break your heart (3 Comments |Comment on this)