October 2020

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Posts Tagged: 'schitt%27s+creek:+alexis+rose'

Oct. 23rd, 2020


[info]bulldoughzer
[info]valloic

[info]bulldoughzer
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]bulldoughzer
[info]valloic
Well! So this is the network I've been hearing about when you all drop by. So busy, so very busy! I may well get lost in my day just trying to keep up, but it'll certainly help when business is slowed down. But yes! This is Glenn, your friendly neighborhood bagel supplier. It is good to see this side of your lives, friends! And friends I haven't met yet, yes, indeed.

I'd like to thank Ms. Alexis for inviting me to join you all here, along with Mr. Ronan and Mr. Bitty for helping me prepare for a reason to even hop on here with you all. If I'm going to have a social media presence here on the Outlander Network (outside of Instagram, please feel free to follow me on ~bulldoughzer for pictures of bagels, flowers, libraries, and architecture I find interesting), I felt it would be a good idea to update my menu and get it online!

So without further ado, or more ado if that's your preference, please allow me to present the new menu layout (and please do let me know if I've left anything off or misspelled something or any oth-- sorry, that's more ado, isn't it)!

OOC Cut for Length )

Oct. 20th, 2020


[info]agentplant
[info]valloic

[info]agentplant
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]agentplant
[info]valloic
10.18.20 — 7:30 pm
Dean Winchester + Alexis Rose
Texas Roadhouse
It's a date.
PG | COMPLETE
Read more... )

Oct. 17th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
Friends, Valloers, countrypeople - lend me your beers.

I'm having kind of a crisis right now? As most of you are well aware by now, I have landed the role of Rapunzel in the upcoming musical entitled Into the Woods. However, my Prince has vanished into the ether. Ergo, I am in need of a Prince to fill the role of the Prince - you don't necessarily have to actually be a Prince, all I ask is that you can carry a tune and that your acting skills surpass those of Pauly Shore in Encino Man.

Can anyone assist?

Also, you know, good morning. That was a long notification list of people who poofed. Rose Apothecary is here for you though. Come see us if you plan to soak in a tub and sob, but also want the water to smell really good when you do.

Oct. 16th, 2020


[info]thatdlorusbrat
[info]valloic

[info]thatdlorusbrat
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]thatdlorusbrat
[info]valloic
A blanket apology is due for anyone who had to interact with me yesterday; I'm not sure what happened, but I was in a terrible mood. No excuse for it, of course, but does it make it any more acceptable if I think that the general malaise was magical in origin?

Anyhow, it has been brought to my attention many times that I have a tendency to prattle on when I write, so in a bid to keep this brief and easily digestible for those among you who prefer aperitifs to feasts, today I've got a simple question for you to answer: What, in your life back home, was the stupidest, most embarrassing, most avoidable injury you have ever given yourself or received? Please note the words "stupidest" and "embarrassing" here as they will be doing the heavy lifting - I don't want to read thirty stories of thinly-disguised boasting about how effortlessly amazing you are, because after saving the orphans from the fire while being pursued by venomous bats (for example), you managed to bruise your shin. No, I specify stupid and embarrassing. This is a bid to make us all feel better for our bad moods yesterday by laughing at ourselves.

My story: my friends and I had found ourselves in the Blight, which is a flat, inhospitable desert with a wide variety of things that desperately wanted to kill us. As you likely know, I am a wizard. Unfortunately, magic was not functioning properly in the Blight and I was not able to defend myself magically, and so it was a nonstop stretch of my warrior and assassin friends saving me left and right while I stood about being useless. I was, to put it plainly, feeling rather sore about it. Eventually I hid a very wicked knife against my side in the event that I was grabbed for the nineteenth time by someone murderous and needed to defend myself. Unfortunately, that was when we were attacked by a sand Kraken (I didn't know they existed, either) and it picked me up, gave me a squeeze, and tossed me over what felt like half the desert but was probably only thirty feet. Both the squeeze and my landing ensured that my expertly-hidden knife sliced between my ribs, punctured my lung, and very nearly killed me. It would not have been, comparatively speaking, a very sexy way to go.

Your turn. I know we've got bards here; make it entertaining.

Oct. 15th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
WHO: Thurvishar & Alexis
WHAT: Running into each other after Old-Timey Magic Guy helped save Alexis' suede boots
WHERE: A delightful Vallo City café
WHEN: Yesterday?
WARNINGS: These pubic relations are clean
STATUS: Complete

Thurvishar, to his credit, let most of the surprise he felt upon someone living in ‘Shit’s Creek’ roll right off of his face. )

Oct. 14th, 2020


[info]negativespace
[info]valloic

[info]negativespace
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]negativespace
[info]valloic
Right. A holiday centered around bones and death. Why not. And we wonder why the Overlook showed to fuck with us.

Do we suggest holidays to celebrate to some administrative Vallo person with a pen and a never-ending ream of paper? Because I'd like to suggest we celebrate Thorghenz. It's a holiday from a cheerless people in my world but do you know what it provides that isn't bones and death? Clams. A bountiful harvest from Our Lady of the Sea, whatshername, but more importantly clams any way you could ever want them. I suppose there's dancing too. Shockingly few bones, occasionally death but honestly what holiday doesn't deal in a little grave dirt from time to time, especially when families unite to celebrate it? Consider it, Vallo. Raise your standards. We might've had it all (clams).

In other news, I miss a barter economy. This actually being expected to pay for things - with money - when you buy them? Mmm. It's a choice.

Finally, subject three: is there some sort of organization (preferably a club which drinks) that deals with how not to be a morally bankrupt fucknut? Asking for a friend.

Oct. 10th, 2020


[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic

[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic
Between these classes and the jobs I find, I generally keep myself busy. But if there were to be something to keep me very occupied right now, that would be fantastic. This is also the first time I am using this device without speaking in it. It's finnicky.

[Hazel]
I think I am doing this right. Are you well? They haven't come near you, have they?

Oct. 7th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
This has probably been debated thoroughly knowing how things work here, but -

Your best tips for getting bloodstains out of clothing, GO.

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
WHO: Alexis Rose
WHAT: She just wanted a pumpkin cream foam cold brew from Starbucks
WHERE: The Overlook Hotel (zero stars on Yelp)
WHEN: Wednesday morning
WARNINGS: Sadness and grief, mentions of death (oh, and the blood elevator - ding)
STATUS: Completed narrative

i'm just a sad song )

Oct. 4th, 2020


[info]negativespace
[info]valloic

[info]negativespace
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]negativespace
[info]valloic
So, another dimension, far, far away from home? Grand.

What's the best bar around here? I know it's first light here but it's well past noon back home, and I'm obviously very distraught. Use concrete examples. "I like ABC Bar because you don't stick to the floor." "XYZ is good because they don't care to ask any questions." That sort of thing. I believe in you, Vallo.

Name's Tal. This is very okay.

Oct. 1st, 2020


[info]stressbake
[info]valloic

[info]stressbake
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]stressbake
[info]valloic
Hey y'all! Can you believe it's October? Right now, we'd be gearing up for the start of hockey season if we were home and I miss it terribly. :( But maybe I can help make it be a little better? There's a new menu at Rose Apothecary with a couple of favorites from last month, and no dinosaurs in sight! Good Lord, I can't believe that's something I have to write while here Make sure to get your pie orders in for any October and even November (!!!) events. I don't want to forget anyone!

And the amateur hockey league meets every Saturday afternoon and Monday nights at Faber if you're interested in joining. Our team is coming along, and I'm so proud of them! Maybe we can have a public match soon :)

Rose Apothecary October Menu


FILTERED TO THE HAUS.
BREAK A LEG AT YOUR AUDITION, NURSEY! ♥ ♥

Sep. 14th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
Okay, first of all, super grateful to those who came out to do some speed dating and to those who helped with the event - those who did help, you are shining stars and I appreciate you. I'm pleased to have brought people together for hookups and/or blossoming new friendships and if you didn't have at least one decent conversation, well, maybe your personality is just terrible but that's okay! It takes all types to make a world, especially a Vallo world!

Speaking of that Vallo world, I'm having a little problem in my apartment right now? And I snapped a photo with my phone because while everyone else gets Pokemon, I got this which is literally a floor-to-ceiling portrait of the fam, and yes, I realize we all look miserable but that's because we were. Whatever.

The problem is that this monstrosity barely fits in my space and if I leave it there it might just go through the ceiling. Is there like, someone who can do a little shrinky-dink with magic or shrinky-dink technology because I don't hate the creepy dead eyes of my family following my every move, I just would rather it be in wallet-sized.

ALSO - fall scents including pumpkin, cinnamon apple, black pomegranate, and berry + fig are now available at Rose Apothecary, in a variety of products! Pamper yourself for autumn and then grab a PSL from Starbucks, because sometimes it's fun to be basic and we should just let people enjoy things~ And if anyone can help with the aforementioned Rose portrait monstrosity, I will give you free hand cream, TIA.

Sep. 12th, 2020


[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic

[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic
Alexis Rose
Kassandra of Sparta
WHO Alexis Rose and Kassandra of Sparta •
WHERE The Forest •
WHEN Weekend night, late evening
WARNINGS None
So, this was like - a date. Read more... )

Sep. 4th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
under a cut because it's very long! )

Sep. 3rd, 2020


[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic

[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic

voice post


[info]eagle_bearer
[info]valloic
I think I've tired of not knowing. I participated in the agoge for a short while, enough to learn the Gortyn Code, but my education has been [...] different since then. I have tried looking at what your school offers, but one of the things I do not know well is this device. So; is there any sort of classes to get me more used to everything, and an update on all the words that really escape me? You would be surprised what just doesn't translate.

Sep. 1st, 2020


[info]stressbake
[info]valloic

[info]stressbake
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]stressbake
[info]valloic
Hey y'all! It's September already, which means there is a brand new menu at Rose Apothecary! This time I tried something a little different and all pies are available as vegan and vegetarian options. They are also fae-friendly because I know y'all were asking and I wanted to make sure everyone could enjoy the same things! ♥

You might notice that the pies have names this time around because a lot of baking comes from sharing with others and y'all have truly been a wonderful inspiration during my time here. I look forward to seeing everyone participating on Friday for speed dating where Jack and I will be checking you in and helping the gracious, amazing Alexis Rose. But also it is Beyoncé's birthday and we have to celebrate it in style!

Last, but certainly not least, for everyone starting school today, good luck! ♥ I know it can be tough, but let's make it a little sweeter and have a mini-pie on me to get through this first week!

Rose Apothecary Menu for September

Aug. 30th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
Happy Sunday, fellow Vallo heathens! Are you having a Bootylicious Day?

cut for gif )

Hope you all enjoyed your morning mimosas and brunches. Alexis Rose here, to remind you that all registered soldiers are due to report to Booty Camp this upcoming Friday, at 6:00 PM - location is Ásynja Meadery. Food and drinks available, but if you feel the urge to take a trip to pound town with whomever you've been talking to for seven minutes, take it outside.

If you haven't signed up yet, what are you waiting for? Give it a try! I promise it'll be a slap-happy good time.

Aug. 26th, 2020


[info]chainsawhand
[info]valloic

[info]chainsawhand
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]chainsawhand
[info]valloic
Guess this place decided it wanted me to have Eli back. Thought it might have been another one of those weird trips cause he was just sitting on my chest when I woke up, but turns out it was actually him. Guess I need to get a new aquarium and food.

[info]wedobones
[info]valloic

[info]wedobones
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]wedobones
[info]valloic
Taking a break from killing Gumby to review all the food I have had so far in your world (priorities, priorities). Please know that these are entirely my own opinions, and that it's not my fault if yours suck, so feel free to take everything personally. Without further ado:

GIDEON'S COMPREHENSIVE AND ACCURATE LIST OF FOODSTUFFS - VALLO EDITION
  • Apple: My first real apple I have ever had! I've tasted lab-grown apple of course, and once I had a dehydrated apple slice so old it looked like a Great-Aunt, but the real thing is great - lush, good texture, nice sweet/sour bite. 9/10

  • Ahi Tuna: I was skeptical and I still am. It's squishy and cold as a tomb. The sesame seeds imparted a delicious nutty (hahaha) taste and texture, and I could see the appeal on a hot day, but honestly texture-wise it reminded me too much of cannibalism, so nah. 5/10.

  • Avocado: Metaphor for my life. You get this big round thing that you squeeze with the soft touch of an uncertain and chaste lover, but when you split it open, it's mostly seed. I have been informed that this is the luck of the draw, and my luck sucks, so there's that to take into account. The part of the avocado fruit I ate was delicious, but there was so little of it. Avocado, you're ON NOTICE.
  • Banana: Looks like a dick 10/10

  • Coffee: Smells so good, tastes like heartbreak. Coffee is a LIE. An 'acquired taste' they say. Acquire my dismissal. 0/10.

  • Cupcake(s): I ate four in as many minutes and I thought my heart was going to come out of my nose. I threw up and then I ate a fifth. 10/10 Cupcakes are great.

  • Gelato: Someone from the land of Italy recommended this, and I got to say, good job. I ate it way too quickly and I thought I was going to die again, but then the pain went away and there was only sweetness. It reminded me a lot of every romantic crush I've ever had.

  • Gnocchi: Texture-wise, not great; it's like eating tiny little turds with tomato sauce. But then I enjoyed myself? I don't know; I think I need to look further within to figure this one out. 6/10.

  • Huevos Rancheros: Eggs + spicy things! Amazing. Apparently this is a breakfast food but I think we all know that this is a drunk food. 8/10

  • Kale: You kale people are fucked up, 0/10.

  • Meatball: Inclined to give this a 10/10 because of the 'ball' part but I found myself dreaming of its simple meaty qualities a few hours after I had one for the first time. If you'd only had lab-grown meat your whole life, the real deal is insanely good. I can 100% see the appeal of murdering cute animals. 10/10

  • Pizza: Bury my ass in a field of pizza or however you make it IDC. 11/10 I would die for pizza

  • Waffles Overrated. The syrup is gross and gets everywhere and soggy bread reminds me of grandmothers. 2/10, fight me.

Aug. 20th, 2020


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[info]celebutante
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]celebutante
[info]valloic
Greetings, fellow kidnapped denizens! Alexis Rose, here to make your day just a little bit brighter so put on your cheap Wal-Mart sunglasses because it's time for...

SPEED DATING

Or as I like to call it, Booty Camp.

In honor of Beyoncé's glorious entrance into the world, yes, that Beyoncé whom I once met in Mykonos, there will be a speed dating event on September 4th. Hosted by moi, the event will begin at 6:00 PM and will be held at Ásynja Meadery. Food and drinks available for purchase, but try not to get too sloppy or lose your top too early.

There will be a $10 registration fee, and all proceeds go to benefit the Chakrabarti Clinic, because we all have to take care of ourselves and get those pap smears if that applies to you. If you're interested in signing up or signing up someone else who is too shy to sign up but is sitting around sad and lonely, eyeliner flaking off as they listen to Creep by Radiohead, let us know!

And if there are questions or concerns, direct them to Alexis Rose (that's me), PR Leadership for the DOA, owner of Alexis Rose Communications, and current babysitter of Rose Apothecary.

OOC )