When Wei Wuxian had discovered Wen Qing, it was a range of emotions that hit him all at once. He’d harbored that guilt for what felt like a lifetime, even if he had spent sixteen of those years in the unknown. But nothing was compared to the pain he felt every single second he thought of Yanli.
It was very like Wei Wuxian to pass everything off as a joke, to wave a hand and dismiss real pain as something not quite so bad. It was easier to do that, to pretend, and he had spent a great deal of his life like that. Always pretending, always lying. Usually they were harmless, but there had been times where his dishonesty had hurt others, and he knew that.
He had stared his brother in the face and wiped away tears as all of it came to fruition. He had watched Wen Qing and Wen Ning walk away from him, to give themselves over to certain death for him. Because he had picked them and made a home with them, instead of casting innocents aside to die.
But he had also stared down the face of manipulative evil as Wei Wuxian discovered that the atrocities he had spent half of a lifetime blaming himself for had been at the hand of another.
None of that stemmed the pain in his heart from losing his sister. One of the few people that had believed in him, the best in him.
And now, there she was, sitting nervously in a chair, surrounded by strangers, but in her wedding outfit, looking as he did the last time he saw her smile. She wasn’t wearing white, she wasn’t in mourning.
She was just nervous. And now Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to do. What to say, what to apologize for. He should have brought Lan Zhan with him.
So he acted the fool, making a little noise and almost knocking over a plant directly behind her, apologizing to the worker that gave him a polite smile before disappearing into the nondescript office background. “Sorry-sorry! Haha- okay, goodbye--” It always had been easier to act the fool than it was to be an authentic Wei Wuxian.
Sitting in her chair, hands twisted in the flowing fabric of her wedding clothes, Yanli's back was straight and her expression mild. If someone didn't know her, they might have very well thought that she was calm and taking everything in stride. To those that did -- like, for example, her brother -- they would see the lack of a smile, the far away look in her eyes, and know that she was anything but.
Not very long ago, Yanli had been in Yiling, having just said goodbye to Wei Wuxian and preparing to depart for home. One moment, she had been standing next to her other brother, mentally mourning the state of their family and, in the next moment, she was in the middle of a forest, a stranger finding her to take her to safety. Safety came with a strange tale of being brought to another world and a video, or so they had called it, to explain the situation even further, but none of it did much to assure her of the situation.
At least, none of it had until Yanli was prompted for names, names of family, of loved ones, of people she knew from home that could also be here. And, though she was told she wasn't alone, she didn't let herself cling to that hope and to believe it until she heard him knock into the plant and apologize for the clumsiness, prompting Yanli to turn in her seat. Her heart immediately warmed in her chest, hope giving way to simple relief. No matter how complicated things were at home or how downright odd this situation that she hadn't yet convinced herself wasn't a dream, she would always, always be happy to see Wei Wuxian.
Immediately, she rose to her feet and stepped forward, her expression mirroring her emotions as they so often did as she looked at her brother. "You really are here," she said, the relief on her face echoing in her voice as a smile started to form at her lips. Though Yanli had so many questions, she defaulted immediately to what she felt was most important. "You are all right? Safe?"
Wei Wuxian’s hand came up to gently cup her face, just as she stepped forward. They should have kept their distance, being they were in a more public place, but to see her again, here and whole and now smiling at him.
It made his chest tight and he couldn’t help it. So Wei Wuxian pulled her into a hug, arms wrapping around her as a measure of comfort. “I’m here, shijie.” He didn’t want her to see the tears welling up in his eyes, and ask questions when he wasn’t prepared to give answers, so he just held her for a few long seconds to get it under control. His heart ached every time he thought of her, and now there was nothing standing between them. And no brother to pull them apart.
Finally, when he leaned back, he looked down at her with a smile. “It’s just been a while-- here, I’ve been here a while. Lan Zhan is here too! He will be very happy to see you and not show it.”
A new wave of relief washed over Yanli. If Lan Wangji was here, it meant that Wei Wuxian hadn't been alone -- and she hated the thought of her brother, either of her brothers, being alone. Though the person who had explained all of this to her had assured her that Jiang Cheng wasn't alone as she was both in this new place and her home at the same time, Yanli wasn't sure what to make of it and, frankly, was just happy to welcome the distraction in this very moment that was Wei Wuxian. She had so many questions, but this was also an overwhelming situation; having one thing to focus on in the moment was grounding.
"I look forward to seeing him -- and I'm glad you haven't been alone, then," Yanli said, taking a moment to straighten out the shoulders of his clothes, then utterly undo the work as she tugged him in for one more, this time shorter, hug. Though she had only just seen Wei Wuxian back home, it had been too long and she hadn't known when she would get to see him again. As strange as this was, just having him there was undeniably good.
"They said a lot of things," she continued after pulling away, glancing about the plain room curiously. "Can it be true? Another world?"
There was no complaint on his lips when Wei Wuxian got pulled in for another hug. He lingered, he couldn’t help it. His expression was soft - as it usually was where Yanli was concerned - and so full of love. Even if he didn’t want to go into the dark and depressing world of his future, he always had a great deal of love for his big sister.
It was a comfort, where his relationship with Jiang Cheng had been so strained, most of which she had missed. That would be harder to explain, but Wei Wuxian also wasn’t on the end of wanting it to be strained.
As always, he just wanted to love and be loved, with the ones closest to him.
He cleared his throat and glanced around, trying to pay it off in a funny way. “It’s true! You should see everything. I’ll show you everything. Are you hungry? There is more food here than you can imagine. AND I’m growing lotus roots - they are still very young and it is a work in progress but Soups, Soups, Soups has a noodle bowl you will like in the meantime, I think!”
There was something about Wei Wuxian that struck Yanli as off. She had grown to be very good at reading between the lines or hearing the things her brother didn't say. This, though, was a bit harder; the circumstances of home were still fresh in her mind, but it, combined with what apparently was happening right now? It was a lot, to say the very least.
It was easier, then, to just file it away for later. Yanli rarely pushed Wei Wuxian, after all. She knew he would come to her whenever he was ready.
And so, instead, she just smiled. "I do like noodles," she said, "and I'd like to see these young lotus roots." The thought that he had been here long enough to begin growing lotus roots stuck her as suddenly worrying. Her smile faltered just a bit at the thought, before she pushed forward. "I want to see everything you want to show me."
Wei Wuxian was, if anything, a tremendously good liar and fake when it came to anyone, even his sister.
It didn’t stop that pang of guilt for doing it. But there was no way Wei Wuxian had the constitution to tell Yanli everything in this strange building full of strange (but nice!) people.
Plus it had been a very weird week. Instead, he would agonize and maybe cry a little where Yanli couldn’t see him, and would gather his thoughts on Lan Zhan’s shoulder when the time was right.
In the meantime, he looped his arm into Yanli’s, smile as bright as he could push it. “I hope you are prepared for this treat, shijie, you will feast on such culinary delights as ice cream and then learn about plumbing! You’ll never want to go home.” And if Wei Wuxian had anything to say about it with his level of stubborn interference, she never would.
Yanli smiled in return, the easy one that was reserved for her brothers. It was different than the smile that donned her face when she was in polite social situations or even the one given to Jin Zixuan. A little jolt that she couldn't quite put a name to went through her at the thought of her betrothed; it was impossible to forget him, given the clothing she was still wearing.
Later, she told herself. Later, when she was alone, she would try to sort through her thoughts and let herself dwell on the absence of Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng, and home. For now, she just tried to turn up the brightness of her own smile and happily took Wei Wuxian's arm. It wasn't too hard to do, all things considered. "Lead the way, then!"