WHO: Hazel & Marie Levesque WHEN: November 10th WHERE: Outside WHAT: GHOST MOOOOM WARNINGS: Mostly a lot of emotions
It surprised Hazel to find that there was a feeling of longing there when her mom appeared outside Shadowcrest on her way to school. It was a strangely heavy feeling and it settled down deep in her heart. She’d gotten through classes, but she’d have to listen to the recordings later because her focus hadn’t been great and her feelings on the matter made it nearly impossible to pay attention to anything. She made her way out of the school, finding her mother there, looking around her.
“This place is...so different.”
Hazel understood the feeling. “I know. Magic’s everywhere, right? And everyone can see it. Not just some.” She felt a moment of hesitance before she stepped closer. “The technology’s different, too. Just about everything. I...it’s been different since that day.” Hazel wasn’t sure if she needed to say what day. She was sure her mom remembered. The sad expression on her mom’s face was enough proof for her.
“I’m sorry I put you in that position,” her mom said after a moment, the pain of it evident enough in the way she spoke, the way she stood. “I wanted everything she said to me to be the truth, but if it meant hurting you…” She trailed off, looking up at Hazel.
“I know,” she said softly because she wasn’t sure she could manage anything louder. Things had sucked. Having to die to save the world wasn’t a decision Hazel would have made if it hadn’t been necessary, but it had been. “But I’ve done a lot since then. We’ve...had a lot of things happen.” Which she’d get to. “But I...I’m Praetor now. At Camp. Which is kind of a big deal.”
It was a minute before she looked at her mom’s face, but when she did, she was almost surprised to see a look of pride. “You’ve grown up,” she said after a moment, moving to touch her head, but her hand went through her. It wasn’t as surprising as Hazel thought it would be. There wouldn’t be a physical part of everything. She couldn’t hug her mom or touch her, but...at least she could have time with her.
“That’s what happens usually, yeah.” She smiled, a little of her general awkwardness settling in. “It would be nice if it was something you could share with me, but...you don’t remember ever being alive.” She looked down at the ground for a moment, trying not to be so obviously upset about it.
“I’m sorry.” It sounded genuine, so Hazel was determined to believe her mom’s words. “I wish I could have been there for you.”
Hazel wanted that hug more than she could have said, but there was nothing there. Maybe after this, she could find Hades or Sabrina and request a hug. Zee was an option, too. At least if she cried into the hug, it wouldn’t lead to any discomfort from Hades and she wasn’t sure Sabrina needed anyone else to comfort just now about things when she had a ghost, too.
“I’m proud of you. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, so I needed you to know that in case I never get to say it again.” There was a brief pause. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but you weren’t one of them. I only wish it didn’t take so long for me to realize it and for me to tell you.”
Her eyes misted and she wiped at them in an attempt to stop herself from crying, but it only succeeded in making her cry more. “I wish it didn’t, too. I wish we could have lived and been happier, but we couldn’t and sometimes I’m still mad about it. I’m mad that I spent so many years feeling like I wasn’t enough for you somehow and I don’t…” She wiped at her eyes again. “I’ll always love you and I’m glad you’re here. I just wish we didn’t need to die for it to happen.”
The guilt and hurt that flashed over Marie’s face made Hazel feel guilty as well, but maybe she’d needed to say it and maybe her mom needed to hear it. “I know nothing can change that now, Hazel, but I love you and I hope that you’re happy wherever you are in life. I want that for you.”
Hazel nodded at the words. There was more to get through, more to discuss, but at least for now, she could hold onto this as a new memory, a good memory of her mom. “Thanks, Mom.” She wiped at her eyes again. “If you want, I can tell you about everything you missed. The quests and Camp Jupiter and Nico and Frank and everything else.”
Marie smiled a little, something softer than her usual smiles. “I’d like to hear about anything you need to talk about, Hazel.”
Hazel would get around to mentioning Hades once she’d talked about everything else, but she didn’t want to ruin the little bit of happiness. Maybe she’d be surprised and her mom wouldn’t be upset about it in the end.