WHO Loki & Frigga's Ghost •
WHERE Outside of New Asgard •
WHEN Nov 12th
Reconciliation, sort of. I'm open to replies, but this could also just be a stand-alone narrative!
WARNINGS Child abuse, kind of? Things Loki did in the Avengers (killing a lot of people). Loki sad.
The figure on the cliff was possibly one of the most frightening that Loki had seen in a long time.
He spent a long time staring at her in vague disbelief - yes, people seemed to be coming here from their world, according to Valkyrie, but he knew that he would have been able to sense her if she was here. He knew - or so he thought, anyway. Even half-transparent, Frigga cut an imposing figure against the sunrise over New Asgard and she seemed to be surveying the village with something akin to fondness, either ignorant or purposely oblivious to Loki standing a hundred feet from her, stock-still as he stared like an idiot. If anybody were to see him they might think him mad, but- perhaps he was. Perhaps in coming here, the last threads of his sanity had finally been cut and he had started seeing people - if he were to have a conscience in a physical form, he was sure that it would take the appearance of his mother.
"Loki," her voice cut through his thoughts like the sword she wielded and he looked up, swallowing hard as he arose to the summons, his legs taking him over to her before his mind could decide otherwise. "This place," she looked over at him and then back to New Asgard. "It is amazing, is it not? Our people persist, even in the worst of situations. Their leaders dead - or unable to lead, with their realm gone, and they persist. I'm proud of them," she smiled, and Loki's heart dropped.
"I suppose, yes," he responded quietly, coming to stand beside her. He was trying not to dwell too greatly on the losses that he knew he'd contributed to - for all he postured and dug his knife into the places that it hurt, there were no actions he regretted more than his own. He knew he'd made mistakes. She had once told him that a true king would own up to his mistakes and he was starting to think bitterly - perhaps he was finally a true king. A king of nothing but the ruins he had left at his own feet, cutting off his nose to spite his face. His brother wasn't here and he was the one who had put the final nail in the coffin of Asgard to save it from their sister, somebody he saw himself in a lot more than he cared to admit despite their total lack of shared blood. He had Valkyrie here and Banner but in truth, Loki had never felt more alone. "...And what of me, mother?"
"Am I your mother again?" she raised an eyebrow at him, gathering her skirts as she rounded on him with the viper-like tongue that he had inherited. "Our last meeting, you said that wasn't so," but her expression softened, reaching out to touch Loki's cheek. He couldn't feel the touch but he closed his eyes and leant into it regardless, swallowing hard. He could hear the pause in her breath, the smile in her voice as she spoke. "Loki. You have been through a great deal of hardship, of course I am aware of this. Your father and I- may not have approached your situation as we should have. I am not proud of your mistakes, but I am your mother. I own them as much as you should and while it is not my place to atone you of the atrocities you committed on Midgard, you have changed. I can sense it in you perhaps more than you sense it in yourself," her hand dropped and Loki eventually opened his eyes again to look at her, quickly wiping away the tears in them. Weakness. "It will take a lot to regain their trust. It may be impossible, an uphill battle you will always be fighting. I'm afraid to inform you that this is the lot of a sorcerer, let alone the God of Mischief," she started to walk along the cliff's edge and Loki followed automatically, drinking in the sound of his mother's voice with rapt attention.
"I don't think it's possible," he snorted softly, even as his voice cracked over the words. "But that's not important. Mother- I'm sorry," it took a great effort to think it and an even greater one to say it but if anybody deserved to hear those words, it was him. "I didn't- you died,"
"Yes. I don't regret it," she replied, but allowed Loki to continue.
"You died and my last words to you were that you weren't my mother. I was wrong. That was wrong. Odin- was not a good father. He never said that he cared for me at all until he died, but you have always been my mother. You always will be my mother," he rubbed a hand down his face, feeling veritably insane - but on the off chance that this was her, he was going to say it. "I love you. Asgard will never be the same without you, whether it's here or on Midgard or where it should be on the branches of Yggdrasil," he turned to look at her and she was smiling at him.
"Loki. How I've missed you, my son," she murmured and he leant forward to accept the not-there kiss to his forehead with a weak smile, his knees buckling from under him at the sudden weight he felt added to and lifted off of his shoulders, simultaneously. "I am proud of you. I have been proud of you since you were a child, and your efforts are being noticed. When it is your time, Fólkvangr may yet welcome you with open arms and I will be there to care for you once more," she started fading as if with the wind and Loki choked back a sob, reaching out for her once more - no. No, not again. He couldn't lose her again. Fólkvangr
"Mother- please," he dug his fingers into the ground at his knees, trying to think of something that could keep her here. "Please. Please stay, I can't- I can't do this," he couldn't try when he was hated, when he would be faced with adversity no matter where he went. What was the point in being good when nobody believed it anyway? He would never truly be good, not like Thor or the others because the thought made him nauseous. Kindness and acceptance was not his to take nor was it in his heart, but Frigga just continued to fade. "Don't leave me again!"
His angry, hurt snarl fell on empty air, however and all Loki could do was pull at his own hair, teeth gritted as he curled into himself and tried not to break apart again.