Cheers Vallo, it's your problematic fav: Gideon Nav with a heartfelt request.
I like you, Vallo. I like your zest, your "what even is this shit?? I can't even deal, but whatever" attitude. I like your selection of all black outfits and I like your other colors, I suppose, maybe. I like your live-and-let-live philosophy. I even liked getting chomped by a dinosaur on some level because the adrenaline rush was sweet and now I can say I got chomped by a dinosaur and not even be lying. I like your fight clubs, and I like your theatrical extravaganzas. But most of all I like your food - I mean, I like my friends, obviously, my new friends come first, but I'm talking now about the FOOD. I like it maybe a little too much because I've been eating enough pastries the last three weeks to make an internal parasite blossom and I really need to do something about that.
So, I request - a workout buddy! That's right. While I never needed a workout buddy back home at the Ninth, mostly on account of my being locked inside my cell 12 hours a day and being watched by megalomaniacal nuns the other 12 hours, I think I would appreciate a workout buddy now. Doing sit ups and pull ups every morning just isn't going to cut it with the amount of carbs I've been shoveling into my gaping maw, and rather than slow the carb train, I need to up my physical activity. Plus, let's be real, this is as much of a favor to you as it is to me, because I'm awesome and I have heard on good authority that they made that "Welcome to the Gun Show" muscle-tee about me. It's practically biographical. I am also supportive when I need to be and tough love when I need to be. I may even call you a 'tit' if you act like one. The sky is the limit.
I will accept a male gym buddy, but to be perfectly honest, if I'm going to have to put up with spotting you and watching you sweat I'd really rather prefer this be an aesthetic experience, so girl power is more my angle in this one. I promise I will not be creepy. If multiple work out buddies are amenable to a group thing, let's do a group thing. To apply, please make a comment here and I will either completely ignore you or swoon. It's Russian roulette of emotions. Let's go, Vallo!