ɴᴇʀɪᴀ ꜱᴜʀᴀɴᴀ (halamshivanas) wrote in valloic, @ 2020-10-17 16:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, ~player: kate, ₴ inactive: cullen rutherford, ₴ inactive: neria surana |
It was a name Neria hadn't heard in years. A man she hadn't thought about in as long. She kept up some correspondence with Leliana, but he'd never been a topic of their discussions. Mostly they reminisced. For all that the Blight had been a mess, it had been a relatively simple time in both their lives, compared to what had come in the years that followed. Talking Darkspawn. The shape of the Wardens changing to a point that she felt little connection to the order. Leliana's own duties to the Divine.
A hole in the sky.
She'd felt a familiar itch when word came of the breach. That desire to step in. To take up arms against yet another threat. To be what Thedas needed, yet again.
But honestly, she was tired. And she had her own problems to fight. If there hadn't been people willing, perhaps she would have. But there were. And she could focus on her own quests. Her work. Her search. Let others take up the roles and titles and responsibilities for once. She had served her own role. And it was still killing her even now.
And now she was here. And so was he.
Just because she hadn't thought of Cullen in years didn't mean his presence wasn't a complicated thing. She had cared for him once, when they were both much younger and more naive about the world. A part of her still cared. But it was tempered by hard-won experience. They both had their own lives and those lives didn't really intersect.
Still, there were things they should talk about. Old hurts that could perhaps still be mended. He wanted to offer her an apology, and she was willing to hear it. She could promise no more than that, but maybe it would be enough.
Besides, she wanted to see for herself that he was well. She knew the toll leaving the templars could take. She would forever be grateful that Alistair had left the Order for the Wardens before they could make him dependent on Lyrium. He would not have been the man she knew if they'd gotten him that deeply tied to them.
She made her way to the tower Cullen had mentioned, stopping a short distance from the open door for a moment to collect herself. Emotions were always a complicated and messy business, even old ones. Then she moved forward. She could see him at his desk and she could see bits of the boy she had knew, but he was largely changed. Perhaps that was for the best. She was changed too.
"It's been a long time."