Dean Winchester (agentplant) wrote in valloic, @ 2020-10-07 14:09:00 |
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His entire body tensed at the sudden fear in his mother's voice. It was subtle and easy to miss, but it was there. "Mom? I'll be right there, I promise." Dean assured her and rushed out towards the garage to get to the car. Given they were in the forest already, he had briefly contemplated walking, but everything he could possibly need to protect them was already in the trunk of the car, and it would be much easier. "I'm coming for you, stay put." He grabbed the keys off the rack and was out of the garage in about three minutes. Dean raced through the forest, the phone on speaker, and resting in the cupholder. He could see the large building in the near distance, the structure covered and surrounded by snow. "No, son of a bitch," he grumbled to himself, and when he was close enough, he put the car in park and made his way towards the entrance. He looked down with a sigh as he came upon the spilled groceries and figured he had no choice but to go inside. "Mom? Where are you?" he called out from the lobby of the hotel, trying not to go too far inside. It was a place that would have been cool to explore, in theory. Dean had initially been curious about the hotel, but after hearing others talk about how awful it was and then seeing Alec in the condition he had been in, he knew it was a place he didn't dare get close to. He presented himself as brave and fearless, but there were fears buried deep inside him that didn't surface very often. No, he kept them repressed and fought with himself repeatedly to keep them where they belonged. He already knew that his fears wouldn't leave him bloodied and bruised as Alec's had, and that was what scared him most. He ventured further in, and suddenly, he began to hear voices coming from all over the place. "Dean, why didn't you save me? Dean, I trusted you. Dean, you promised I would be okay. Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean." The voices echoed in his head, voices of those who had died because of him because he had failed to do his job right. He tried to drown them out, but they only grew louder, and suddenly, there was a slight sting against his arm, and he looked down to find the mark, burning a bright red, the first blade in his hand. "No, no, no, NO!" he shouted loudly, and the voices carried on, coming from all angles now, surrounding him like a cage. Apparitions of those he had unjustly killed began to appear and disappear, flickering in his line of sight. He bolted from the lobby and straight into a crossway, the elevators to his left and a hallway to his right. Nope, fuck the elevators, he was not about to get trapped in a confined space; there was no way in hell. He turned to the right, and there was his father, bloodied, bruised, in agony, strung up in hell, much like he had been. "Dad?" His eyes began to water, and he backed up slowly, his heart pounding against his chest. "You did this to me, Dean. This is all your fault. If you boys had done like I asked, none of this would have happened. I would still be alive, and we would be a family." He remained silent and suddenly turned to run in the other direction, now faced with an image of Lisa and Ben. "Lis? Ben?" his voice was barely a whisper, and as they stared him down, a red stain began to form against her abdomen, slowly growing larger. "Dean, getting rid of you was the best thing to ever happen to us. I never loved you. I only pitied you. How could anyone love you? You don't deserve to be loved; you're not good enough for that. You hurt everyone you touch, and they would all be better off without you." Her voice was cruel and she spoke with such conviction that it was hard to not believe it. He closed his eyes tight and inhaled deeply before slowly opening them, finding the pair gone. Dean turned to run in another direction and tripped over his own two feet in his panic. He skidded across the tiled floor, and when he turned himself around to stand up, there was Sam, looming over him. It was perhaps the most terrifying vision of all, the look on Sam's face ominous, and he couldn't decipher if it was real or not. "Sammy, please..." "No, Dean, I'm sick and tired of your begging, of always telling me what to do. Lisa is right, you know, you're the worst thing to ever happen to me. I was happy, for once, and you couldn't stand that, you wanted me to be miserable just like you. You broke the first seal, Dean. I ended up in Hell because of you." Dean scooted back on the floor, and Sam continued to advance, looking down at him with disgust and contempt. "Sammy, you know I tr-" "You were always so terrified of being left alone, so you continuously threw yourself onto the sword, trying to be the hero, trying to pretend that you were brave when all along you just didn't want to be alone." Dean looked up at Sam and stared back at him with frustration and regret, his eyes red and glassy. "You're right," he admitted finally, too exhausted to continue the fight. "I did the best I could do, and it still wasn't good enough, and I'm sorry about that." His eyes screwed shut, and he kept them that way for thirty seconds, focused on his breath, and when he opened his eyes again, Sam was gone. Dean rose from the floor, the first blade no longer in his grasp. He turned to face the entrance of the hotel, and the doors opened slowly to let him out, and there was his mother. His hands came up to rub briskly over his face and he moved towards her as if nothing had happened. "We should go. I guess Winchester Surprise is a bust, whatever." |