“I feel like you fuckers are going to get all supernatural introspective and I’d rather get out of the car for that shit.”
WHAT: The boys find out that there is little bit more to the Cabeswater bond than they had ever planned for WHERE: An undisclosed location along the Vallo coast WHEN: Evening, September 14 WARNINGS: None! STATUS:Complete!
Proper car etiquette was something to be desired when the three of them were in the Pig. Adam, who had often sequestered himself to the back seat out of habit—never quite working himself up to shotgun when Ronan was riding and Gansey was driving—sprawled out against the worn-out leather in a worn-in position. Feet propped up where they shouldn't be, taking up space when he shouldn't be, not wearing a seatbelt like he should be. He was examining one of his hands, while the other one had slid between the door and the passenger seat to hold Ronan's, loosely.
The past few days had been strange. Persephone was right—he had been distracted. Not just by the usual things; work and school were a constant white noise in the background of his brain. Ronan remained endlessly in his attention, catching his eye with his or his lips with his. Their causal affection keeping Adam from completely letting his mind wander. He wasn't ready to do that yet.
And then he'd look at Gansey and something else would happen. A current, a slack line pulling taut. Like walking into a room when a television screen was dark but knowing it was on. Adam was aware that it was Cabeswater, in some way, but this was not the same thing as when the forest had claimed his hands and eyes. This was new. Another feeling on top of the one he was already used to, slotting into place with his bond.
That was distracting.
Adam couldn't remember why he needed them to leave the Barns, only that he had walked inside from the back porch, and asked Gansey and Ronan, "Can we go somewhere?"
Now he was in the Pig, watching Vallo race past through the Camaro's windows and noticing his life-line on his palm was longer than before. Adam sat up. "Turn left here."
It was rare enough for them to be out driving around together, just the three of them, these days. There had been no hesitation when Gansey grabbed his keys or when he turned at Adam’s words, both held the same amount of trust and complete acceptance of the situation. He didn’t know exactly where they were going, or what they were doing, but if there was one thing Gansey knew, it was that it didn’t matter as long as he was here, with them.
Driving the Pig helped keep his mind clear, being with these two muddled it but in a good way, the way that Gansey liked. Too many words, things to talk about, topics that Adam usually enjoyed and Ronan pretended to ignore.
Even around Vallo, driving the Pig made it feel more like home. The road he’d turned down was more narrow and rough, up the hill and straight towards the coastline on the edge of Vallo’s island. The view was breathtaking from here, but the road was empty enough that he could get the Pig to practically fly across the pavement as he glanced over his shoulder to Adam, “What’s next, Waze? Do you know where we’re going?”
Ronan thrived on these kinds of moments. The feel of the car racing along. The smell of it. Gansey’s profile in the corner of his eye, cherished and familiar. Adam’s hand in his - even out of sight, Adam filled up the space. Ronan would have known him in the dark, with all his other senses ripped away.
Apparently he was feeling a little dramatic. That was Cabeswater’s fault. But Adam was okay; he was mostly convinced Adam was okay. He still felt highly attuned to them both. He didn’t know if that was Cabeswater or his imagination or something as fucking cheesy as good old fashioned love. He didn’t really care either.
“Can’t believe you just called him Waze. You’re such a nerd,” he teased. Reaching out with his freehand he popped the cassette tape out of the dash and replaced it with another. The music that rumbled through the speakers was surprisingly warm, all low bass and heady beats. “That merry-go-round we almost had sex on is out here.”
"I can't believe you just told Gansey we almost had sex on a merry-go-round," Adam said, nipping lightly at Ronan's shoulder in playful retaliation. He remembered that day. That was when Adam read Ronan's cards. When tarot was his only outside connection to the world, asking for answers and hoping he phrased the question right. It had taken focus and concentration, things that Adam excelled with when applied.
Now it felt like he could blink in the wrong direction and start scrying into Cabeswater without questions or answers. It took focus and concentration not to. Adam was now working extra muscles that lay in psychic atrophy for too long.
And still his attention came back to Gansey's profile, that eerie buzzing in his brain constant, like an old memory that refused to crystalize.
"I don't know where we're going. I thought that—" Adam paused, the same way he would right before saying something he knew was illogical, "Cabeswater would tell us." There was another beat, before he added, "Slow down, there's a hidden road coming up. You'll miss it if you're not looking."
Gansey wrinkled his nose. “I can’t believe you just told me you almost had sex on a merry-go-round.” That was a lie though, he could very well believe it, and it didn’t surprise him half as much as it should’ve.
It also didn’t make him blush half as much as it would’ve a year or two ago. He slowed the Pig down and leaned forward in his seat, squinting through glasses as if that was going to make him see the hidden road a little easier. “Is Cabeswater sending us on it’s errands now?” He joked again, feeling Adam’s gaze on him without actually seeing it and trying to push it to the side as he had every odd feeling for the week.
If there was anything Gansey was good at, it was pretending that something was nothing, and being more in tune with his best friends as of late was no big deal.
Sure enough, focusing on nothing almost got him in trouble as he was going a little too fast for the hidden road, and had to shift quickly to make the turn, causing the tail end of the Pig to wobble as it caught up. He glanced back at Adam again, “Maybe the next time, I’ll let you drive and see where Cabeswater takes you.”
Ronan’s smile was obnoxious and proud. He turned to press a kiss to the side of Adam’s head since he was within reach. “I don’t know why either of you are surpri—“ The fishtailing of the car cut him off and lifted his eyebrows in delight. He reached across the car to slap the back of his hand against Gansey’s chest.
“Way to go, Earnhardt,” he laughed. “Got my heart pumping all fast and shit.” His window was already rolled down so it was easy to put a hand on the door and lean his head out into the cool wind. He didn’t have a psychic connection to Cabeswater – he needed to be there to really feel the magic that bound them together – so he couldn’t say where the forest was taking them for sure. That didn’t stop him noticing the way moonlight caressed a particular section of trees, high up on the ridge between them and the coastline. He tossed a look back over his shoulder.
“Those doing anything for your third eye, Parrish?” he gestured.
Where Ronan's heart may have leaped at the quick course correction, Adam's slowed way down. A uncanny sense of peace and calm, knowing he was safe before even having to wonder if he was. He didn't even brace himself against a chair or a seat or the ceiling. There was no need. Cabeswater would keep them safe.
"Not errands," Adam replied, delayed and distracted and distant, as his attention went to the passing trees, the warm glow of the moon, the energy Ronan was expelling when he slipped his head out the window. It was deja vu; Adam had been here, but Cabeswater had not. Or was it the other way around? "It wants to show us something."
He was staring at Ronan now, shaking his head about the third-eye comment. "Have you been feeling different since?" That was to Gansey, and Adam knew he didn't have to explain. There was a before and after. As the terrain of the road changed, Adam's hands unconsciously mirrored Gansey's downshift, like a movement echo.
Gansey’s heart had followed Ronan’s, but in a split second turn, it whipped right back around and settled, imbuing him with a sense of calm as his hand gripped the gearshift. It made it easier to not suddenly stall out the car in surprise, but he was still a little taken aback by Adam’s words.
“Jesus, what?” He had, but had chalked it up to being there, being a part of Cabeswater and that amount of magic coursing through it. It would eventually diminish, like most of the spectral animals did. Right? As the car slowed and the moon gradually got closer and Gansey reached the top of the hill, he looked over at Ronan, then Adam, and back to the road.
It was difficult to get his thoughts in order, to figure out exactly what Adam meant, and where they were headed. His heart was thundering his chest as loud as the Pig’s engine now, nerves making his palm sweat as it flexed against the steering wheel. “I thought it was just … Cabeswater magic. From being there, around it. What do you both feel?”
Ronan went from smirking to frowning pretty quickly. Even if he was convinced he didn’t have the same direct link to Cabeswater’s nerve center, he kind of was Cabeswater’s nerve center. He felt the energy in the air since it happened – more, he’d felt a difference in Gansey since his resurrection, he just hadn’t been able to put a name to it until Cabeswater showed back up. He wasn’t sure he could put a name to it now.
Adam’s energy was different. Magician, it said, leaving no room for doubt.
Looking over his shoulder at Adam now, Ronan could remember the glow of his eyes as the ritual ended, like it had happened minutes ago instead of days. “I feel like you fuckers are going to get all supernatural introspective and I’d rather get out of the car for that shit.” He draped his arm out the door and slapped the side of the car. “Pick a spot and park before the Pig decides for you.”
Adam kept his mouth shut to Gansey's question. What do you feel? would only cause problems because answering everything was not an option. Saying something along the lines of your energy would also make the tension in the car ratchet upward and they were already moving at a nice clip in the Pig.
Instead, Adam simply tried to catch Gansey's eye in the rearview mirror. He was definitely going supernatural introspective.
The slap against the car caused Adam to startle and he blinked away that fog. He reached between the console to grab for Ronan's free hand. Ronan was the center, Adam needed to be centered. The same way he reached for Ronan after scrying. Adam wasn't scrying now, but he thought for a moment he might fly away.
"I made a bond with Cabeswater," Adam said, matter-of-fact, reminding them of the obvious. "But Cabeswater is also Gansey. A part of Gansey. I haven't quite figured out what it means yet, but I think—here. Stop here." Adam pointed to the path, illuminated by the headlights. "Through the trees there, so Ronan can get out of the car."
Gansey wordlessly did as he was told, pulling through the trees and parking the Pig as it made an unhappy noise at the last minute. He ignored it, figuring it just needed a break, much like his brain did. Right now, Gansey felt more connected to his car than he did the sentient forest that was a part of him, but only due to the sputtering engine and constant need for repair.
He had the door open and was pulling in fresh air as soon as the car was turned off, trying hard not to make this a panic attack situation. He should’ve realized - Ronan had, at least as far as they were concerned. Why had he not thought of Adam?
And did it really matter? No. But it was an overwhelming thought, one that clicked into place as easily as the Pig’s door did when Gansey slammed it behind him. “Jesus, Adam.” He had to remind himself it wasn’t Adam’s fault, and Gansey took a second to close his eyes. “Sorry-- This wasn’t on our lists.”
Cabeswater is also Gansey. Ronan involuntarily twitched at those words and he squeezed Adam’s hand. He had to let go to get out of the car but he distractedly kissed Adam’s knuckles first, like a dumbass apology. His thoughtful gaze stayed locked on Gansey for a moment before he unfolded his lanky height out of the Pig.
“You think you two are bound now?” Ronan held open the door. The night air felt sharp and welcoming all at once. A slap in the face and then a hug to follow it. “What the fuck does that even mean?” The thought did complicated things to his emotions. Was he pleased? Was he jealous? Apparently he could be both and half a dozen other things all at once. He scowled up at the moon.
"I know, I know," Adam was saying quickly, trying to assure Gansey that it wasn't his fault. Adam didn't think of it either—he had been so wrapped up in the new problems they faced in Vallo that considering the old ones seemed less important. Adam was the one that made the mistake.
He crawled out of the back seat, straightening up right in Ronan's space. His expression was serious, hard, giving Ronan that kind of unwavering attention when Adam was trying to figure out what his boyfriend's tone meant and what it was covering. "I'm not bound to Gansey, I'm bound to Cabeswater," Adam repeated.
"But it's like, like—" Adam searched for the right words, stepping away from the Pig and toward the path. "Wearing someone else's sweater. It fits them, and it smells like them, and worn around the hem. It's inherently theirs but you have it on now. And someone else who knows that person by that sweater, might still remember the feel of it or the scent of it. Gansey is wearing Cabeswater's sweater, and I'm the person who only knows Cabeswater through senses. This time, it's just psychically—"
There were flowers, wild grass, and fluffs of dandelions filling the impressions that Adam's steps left in the dirt. The same flora grew quietly around Gansey's feet and around Ronan's. It's sprung up underneath the heavy tread of the Pig's tires. Not tall or out of control, just there. "Shit."
Gansey shoved his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do with them that wasn’t crossing his arms in unfair petulance. He knew that Ronan tone, he always hated it. His line between them was even and unwavering, his love for them both overflowing at times and shaky at others. Learning information like this would historically delight him, and in a way, it revitalized him.
Or maybe that was the plants growing under his feet. He could feel that, felt the power from Adam, and that alone made him smile. His best friends had felt a lot of pain in their lives, and to feel something blossoming instead - besides their love, as cheesy as that way - was nice. Comforting. A kick in the pants where he needed it, to get out of his own head.
“I’m not entirely sure what that makes me, exactly.” He started walking ahead, still within earshot but giving them at least a little privacy if they wanted to hang back. Flowers filled each of his steps as he walked, and Gansey kept looking down at them. “You don’t even like my sweaters.”
Adam moving in close was smart as shit, because it instantly got him Ronan’s full and undivided attention. What it didn’t do was help Ronan keep up with the analogy. He was squinting by the end - and unhelpfully picturing them both in stupid sweaters. The vegetation weirdness was almost a blessing.
Ronan crouched to run his fingers gently under the petals of a flower, smiling in spite of himself. “Alright so let me see if I’ve got this so far...” He peered up at Adam through his eyelashes. “You two are doing the psychic equivalent of clothes sharing. Or Gansey smells like Cabeswater mothballs.” His mouth twitched with amusement and he stood up to trek after Gansey.
“Whatever the fuck that means, I hope the flowers and shit are just you two vibing really well,” he squinted. “I already get enough Disney princess comments.”
There was something wholly relieving that Ronan and Gansey took the weird things in stride. Adam had been fighting off these little things, trying to let them come out in slow pieces. But there was always that buzzing excited energy of Cabeswater behind his eyes, and things like this—flowers growing unnaturally, surreally in a dirt clearing—wouldn't be the last. Adam, a little dumbfounded, followed after the two of them watching the flowers grow and change with every step.
A moth, pearlescent and softly glowy, settled on the back of Adam's hand. Cabeswater thought it was being funny.
"It just means that we are all vibing really well," Adam said, getting close enough to let the moth flutter to Gansey's shoulder. The wild growth was racing ahead of them now, lighting the path of where they had to go. The trees swayed and parted just the slightest amount to give them space to walk in a group instead of single file.
"We have to figure out what it means for the future, though. Cabeswater is bouncing around between here and home, experiencing all these things for the first time. Next to Gansey, its presence is stronger, maybe. I'm guessing. We're scratching the surface of what I can do now and what we can all do together."
Gansey blinked at the moth, and sighed heavily in Ronan’s direction. Normal and non-magical ones were the bane of his existence, and this was one of his favorite shirts. A three-fer from Cabeswater, playing with all of them. “It better not think of this shirt as it’s dinner,” he muttered, not unkindly. “Mothballs. Don’t be jealous, we all know that Adam is better off stealing your goth-wearables.”
He didn’t have to do do anything for Cabeswater to find that amusing, the nature lighting their path going black for just a second and then shimmering to an iridescent purple so they weren’t flying completely blind. It was the thing that made him laugh, even as he stumbled a little. “See? Cabeswater agrees.”
It was a good distraction from other thoughts rumbling around in his brain, and he fell quiet for a moment. “This changes a lot more than I thought it would, with all of us. What’s next?” It was an open-ended question, one he didn’t really expect an answer to, but Gansey’s brain liked having a purpose.
Ronan snorted a laugh. Cabeswater’s playfulness helped ease some lingering tension in his spine. That it was reaching out with smartass purpose and not just spilling over because Vallo had that much more magic to pull from was a comfort. It fed the part of him that delighted in the art of creating something from nothing, too. Maybe Cabeswater knew that quiet heart of him too well, because the iridescent path kept reforming into lightning bugs that sparked as they burst into the air and danced ahead.
“I don’t know what’s next. I don’t even know what’s right now. I mean, is this just Cabeswater showing off or is this you?” he asked Adam, turning to walk backward the next few steps. He trusted Gansey wouldn’t walk him into something terrible. “I don’t feel like I’m controlling any of this. It just feels like Cabeswater and Magician mixed together. And maybe...”
He glanced over his shoulder at Gansey and the break in the trees as they finally passed through. “Do you think maybe it’s like with Blue? The power of three linked through Cabeswater gets you some kind of fucking booster effect?”
Did even Adam feel like he was controlling this? His eyes were roaming over the forest floor moving and changing around them—flowers and lights and insects, all impossible and improbable. But when he locked eyes with Ronan, softly lit by the magic around him, hearing him say Magician with such surety, Adam smiled, warmly.
He closed his eyes and raised his hands, strumming the air, as if he was plucking away at an invisible string tied to something that didn't quite exist in this time and place. It was vast and unnamable, and somehow his.
"Maybe, I won't know until we try other things," Adam said. "But boosting what? Cabeswater's presence out here or something else? I shouldn't be able to do this, but..." That wasn't necessarily true. This was a new bond, they were friends. Do et des, he'd swore—Adam was giving Cabeswater an opportunity to not be limited to the confines of its manifested self. And in return, Cabeswater was giving Adam everything it possessed. There were no limits because Adam could handle it.
Shouldn't, but could.
The lightning bugs had multiplied and gathered, swarming over Adam's arms and up his neck, causing him to glow like the path. He opened his eyes and they scattered ahead again. "We're here."
With Adam’s words, the lightning bugs, the glowing flora and hidden fauna all seemed to come out to play. Gansey knew just how special Vallo was, they all did, but it was always even more remarkable when it was brought to life like this. The magic of this place could truly take his breath away sometimes, now was no exception. The clearing ahead of them looked as if it had been plucked out of a art piece, the ground brought to life with the dim sparkle of flowers and nature. It practically welcomed them, as the trees around the edge swayed and dipped.
Now that his best friend was bug-less, Gansey could reach out and clasp a hand on his shoulder. “Jesus. I always knew you two had a lot of magic locked away in those heads of yours, but--” He stepped forward, a look of wonder he hadn’t had on his face since the early days of searching for Glendower.
Gansey was no artist, and no picture could capture it, so he settled for pulling out the field notebook from his back pocket and brought it up close enough to his face where he could see, to try and scribble out a messy description, just so he wouldn’t forget anything later. “Do you think anyone else has found this, or is it just for us? Do you think we’ll ever be able to find it again?”
The level of weird seemed to be escalating but Ronan was determined not to trip out. Magician had always been the right fit for Adam. Like a pair of shoes that had been waiting for the right person to step into them. It was just fucking freaky watching it in action sometimes.
“You’re creeping me out a little, Parrish,” he teased, reaching over to squeeze the back of Adam’s neck before he caught an escaping lightning bug in his free hand. It probably didn’t help shake their otherworldly appearance but if he had to watch Gansey squint at his journal in the dark, he was gonna be really fucking annoyed.
He wordlessly cupped his hands and held the bug so that it spilled light onto the journal pages. “I think, if we’re right about this shit, Cabeswater can lead us anywhere we want here. If it can find it once, anyway.” There was a tree in the clearing that reminded Ronan of the one in Cabeswater that made them see terrible visions of the future, back at home. Only this one didn’t have a hole in its trunk and the moonlight made it look warm and welcoming rather than foreboding.
“Do you…,” Ronan cleared his throat but still spoke quietly. “Do you think Cabeswater is integrating permanently with Vallo or just being a show off?”
Adam saw the tree. He would never forget that tree, but the fact there was nowhere to climb into its trunk made the unease that had first sprouted, diminish quickly. He lingered only for a moment, before mimicking Ronan and bringing over his own lightning bug between cupped hands. Adam liked the way the three of them, crowded together, made him feel. Cabeswater sung in his veins—so maybe all four.
His eyes were bright and clear, reflecting the blue-orange glow from the insects and from the luminescence from the forest, not unlike the other day during the bond. Adam glanced between Gansey and Ronan, before turning his attention down and away, listening for something else somewhere else. That familiar call when Cabeswater needed his attention.
"Cabeswater says no, not permanently," Adam said after a long pause, his brow furrowing together in concentration. "Vallo is like one giant leyline, so Cabeswater is stretching its legs, testing the limits and boundaries of the world. But I'm—guiding it." That didn't feel right to say, despite it being the truth.
He gave Ronan one fond look, almost like an apology for the weirdness, before the ambient noise of the woods started thrumming in sync, similar to the low low beats of his music. Then to Gansey, he said, "Habet donum tibi."
“I hope Vallo is okay with that,” It certainly seemed to be, they’d learned early on that Vallo would reject things it didn’t like, and thus far had seemingly welcomed Cabeswater with open arms. Maybe it felt a kinship, a connection with another forest, so like it.
“A gift?” He didn’t get the full sentence, but knew the jist of it, and tilted his head up and away from his now-lit notebook, as if opening himself to the offering, but in a very Gansey way. A curious, but cautious way. He could keep his voice even with a little effort, but there was just a small crack in his voice when he shook his head. “It doesn’t have to give me anything, it’s already given me--” A gift he could never repay, the heart that beat in his chest, the life that it sacrificed for Gansey. “A great deal. If anything, I should be repaying Cabeswater.”
Ronan was relieved Cabeswater wasn’t trying to forest-meld for good or some shit. He felt too protective and maybe a little too possessive to feel good about that possibility. Especially with all of this. His eyes lingered on Adam, but Gansey’s words were more than enough to shake him free. He let go of the lightning bug and hooked his arm around Gansey’s shoulders.
It wasn’t a hug. But it was pretty fucking close.
“Don’t be dumb, Dick. You saved us all. If you hadn’t sacrificed yourself, Cabeswater would’ve been unmade in the worst way anyway. Cabeswater brought you back as repayment to you. That debt is clear on both fucking sides.” He ruffled Gansey’s hair and stepped away to peer up into the tree. The bark felt familiar and foreign when he pressed his hand to it. Hopefully Cabeswater was listening. Tutum manere</a>, he thought.
"Ronan's right," Adam said, staring down at the illuminated journal page that Gansey had been scribbling on. When Adam had asked Cabeswater to sacrifice itself that day, there was no hesitation. It was not a demand, but a request that Cabeswater eagerly took. This conversation would be different, and Adam's bond with Cabeswater far more chaotic, if it was still waiting for something in return for giving Gansey life.
"It's part of you, if it wanted that debt repaid it would have taken from you already." Adam released the lightning bug and it crawled across Gansey's chest before flittering off into the sky. "Now it just wants to be itself. And what that is, is curious and intuitive, magnanimous. There's a lot of world to explore."
As Ronan's hand touched the bark, Adam's attention swept over to where he was standing—did he feel it? Could he hear him? It didn't make any sense, no one said anything, but Adam found himself whispering out erimus, erimus in response, reaching unconsciously for Ronan where Cabeswater couldn't.
"We can come back," Adam said this to Gansey, placing his other hand on his forearm. "If we can't find it, we can ask."
Oh. The comfort from them both made Gansey smile, and he bumped shoulders with Ronan before they were split off. That explanation made more sense to Gansey than anything so far, and put them in a similar box. Alike. Searching for something made his heart soar, and he was already alight with his own curiosity over it.
It would have been easy to fall into some sappy monologue, and he was tempted as he watched Ronan move to the tree. To tell them how lucky he was to have them in his life, with or without Cabeswater. That may have bound them together now and here but it was a bond that went deeper than that, and Gansey was all the better of a person, having it.
He tucked the notebook back into his pocket and clasped a hand on Adam’s shoulder, grin forming. “No need to ask, I like a good challenge. Shall we? Excelsior!”
Ronan smiled over his shoulder before reason set in and he rolled his eyes at them both. His boyfriend talking like a magician and his best friend talking like a dweeb. There was too much magic in the air. It made them dumb and he couldn’t even talk shit because it made him dumb with fondness for them both too. He patted the trunk of the tree.
“Okay, nerd.” He nearly knocked all three of their heads together when he slung an arm around each of their necks and turned them back towards the car. “Let’s go see what Cabeswater’s got for you.”