vallo

sent to all phones minus those who opted out:
• Ciri
• Edward Nygma
• Otabek Altin
• Tybalt

Wow, this is completely fucked up (cool video though, appreciated the explosions) and I really did not pay much attention in Physics class in high school so alternate universes must have been covered on the day I skipped out to go to Waffle House and witnessed both a stabbing and a declaration of divorce. Though I did read a lot of comic books as a kid.

But, uh, hi. I'm Richie. I have a couple of questions.

1. How long does it take before the shock wears off and the panic sets in?
2. Does everyone come here from extremely bonkershits situations or is that just me?
3. What the fuck?

Thanks for your time.

Vallo, you crazy bitch, thanks for giving me my facial hair back. Wake up one morning clean as can be, wake up the next with it all back. This place is so fucking weird.

Cheers Vallo, it's your problematic fav: Gideon Nav with a heartfelt request.

I like you, Vallo. I like your zest, your "what even is this shit?? I can't even deal, but whatever" attitude. I like your selection of all black outfits and I like your other colors, I suppose, maybe. I like your live-and-let-live philosophy. I even liked getting chomped by a dinosaur on some level because the adrenaline rush was sweet and now I can say I got chomped by a dinosaur and not even be lying. I like your fight clubs, and I like your theatrical extravaganzas. But most of all I like your food - I mean, I like my friends, obviously, my new friends come first, but I'm talking now about the FOOD. I like it maybe a little too much because I've been eating enough pastries the last three weeks to make an internal parasite blossom and I really need to do something about that.

So, I request - a workout buddy! That's right. While I never needed a workout buddy back home at the Ninth, mostly on account of my being locked inside my cell 12 hours a day and being watched by megalomaniacal nuns the other 12 hours, I think I would appreciate a workout buddy now. Doing sit ups and pull ups every morning just isn't going to cut it with the amount of carbs I've been shoveling into my gaping maw, and rather than slow the carb train, I need to up my physical activity. Plus, let's be real, this is as much of a favor to you as it is to me, because I'm awesome and I have heard on good authority that they made that "Welcome to the Gun Show" muscle-tee about me. It's practically biographical. I am also supportive when I need to be and tough love when I need to be. I may even call you a 'tit' if you act like one. The sky is the limit.

I will accept a male gym buddy, but to be perfectly honest, if I'm going to have to put up with spotting you and watching you sweat I'd really rather prefer this be an aesthetic experience, so girl power is more my angle in this one. I promise I will not be creepy. If multiple work out buddies are amenable to a group thing, let's do a group thing. To apply, please make a comment here and I will either completely ignore you or swoon. It's Russian roulette of emotions. Let's go, Vallo!

Best non Starbuck options for the most hated upon coffee drink known to man, the PSL? I'm feeling fall festive.

filtered to: hp fam & friends.

I got a job, will be heading out tomorrow and should be back by the end of the week. May or may not have a signal, most of you lot know the drill. I'll be safe etcetera etcetera.

This device truly is fascinating, though part of me wonders if it can record what I speak and what I also type can it do the same to what I'm simply thinking?

More importantly, can someone explain the new rules of fashion to me? The Google I was directed to is a wealth of information but I think it might be better to get a quick lesson first.

THE DOCTOR (THE WIFE):

I've been thinking, love, we must be due a date night. It's been a while, hasn't it? For both of us.

DAN TORRANCE:

I wanted to check in, now we've had a few days of relative calm. How are you?