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Posts Tagged: 'seymour+birkhoff'

Sep. 3rd, 2017


[info]ahsoka_tano
[info]valarnet

[info]ahsoka_tano
[info]valarnet

 


[info]ahsoka_tano
[info]valarnet
So I had this idea, is anyone at the Agency paying attention?

What if there was help for people to doctor their resumes with their dream skills? Something that if it was looked up would come up as true. I'm sure there are people with years of experience in fields but without the degrees to prove it.

Kanan

I got the job!

Aug. 31st, 2017


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
Is there a protocol for what to do when you decrypt every dirty secret a covert government agency is keeping from a place that technically doesn't exist?

I feel like there should at least be an unspoken rule sort of deal.

[info]mrcleaner
[info]valarnet

[info]mrcleaner
[info]valarnet

August 31 | Owen Elliot


[info]mrcleaner
[info]valarnet
My niece, Vanessa, is insisting that I do this. So...

I'm Owen and I'm going to be new to the area. Irvine specifically.

Aug. 29th, 2017


[info]whathavewehere
[info]valarnet

[info]whathavewehere
[info]valarnet

 


[info]whathavewehere
[info]valarnet
Now that things have calmed once more, I shall make an offer again. To those who wish to have healing potions on hand for when these sorts of invasions occur, I am willing to make some. I have a few left over from the last batch I made, though I shall be making some more in the near future.

For those who do not know me, I am Morrigan, a mage and an herbalist. While my specialty is shapeshifting, I am also a gifted healer for those who may require such assistance in the future.

Aug. 11th, 2017


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
Alright, bitches, I'm just gonna come out and say it.

So there's like a good chance I'm going to do something stupid in these dreams and, say, oh, sacrifice myself to do some kind of portal-closing that may or may not result in my death.

And in the effort to prepare and not scare the living crap out of my boyfriend or brother (depending whose house I'm at) in case it carries over, is there anyone that can do some kind of resurrection voodoo shit? You know, the kind that brings me back like a normal person and not a zombie or whatever. And that doesn't involve someone going to some kind of version of an afterlife to fetch my soul.

Thanks Valarnet. I'm only freaking out a little

Jul. 26th, 2017


[info]tinkhatespink
[info]valarnet

[info]tinkhatespink
[info]valarnet

 


[info]tinkhatespink
[info]valarnet
So, there were hundreds of huge, scary, evil rats that chased my friend Terence and me out of this ship, and I went back to Pixie Hollow and brought my version of the scepter to the ceremony where we get the blue pixie dust... Now I totally sound like I'm absolutely insane. But if you were in my Dreams, too, you'd understand.

Anyway, No one's ever made as much Blue Pixie Dust as I made with that scepter. And when I woke up this morning, there was Blue Pixie Dust on my bedside table. I'm not sure what to do with it.

Jul. 24th, 2017


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
It really should not be surprising that a dark ops group that fake their recruits deaths would be prepared to completely destroy each and every one of them with an automatic fail safe. And yet, here I sit, surprised.

On a less deathy note; wtf does one do with apple trees? Someone failed to inform me that my property has about six apple trees in the damn yard and the birds are starting to piss me off.

Jun. 30th, 2017


[info]quantized
[info]valarnet

[info]quantized
[info]valarnet

 


[info]quantized
[info]valarnet
My mother called, did a spot-on impression of her dream self, and now my whole family's visiting for the Fourth of July. So, four days from now. Three extra people. In my two bedroom apartment. I'd like to say that I don't know how it happened, but I absolutely do: She manipulated me by dangling her approval in front of me like a gift. Either I need to grow some thicker skin, or that woman should join the CIA.

Probably both.

[info]toughest_sister
[info]valarnet

[info]toughest_sister
[info]valarnet

 


[info]toughest_sister
[info]valarnet
So apparently the way to beat a mime is by creating a rock and roll band.

Now I can't get that damn song out of my head

Jun. 12th, 2017


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

 


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet
So get this. In my dreams, sloths run the DMV. Have you ever heard anything more true to life? Maybe they run the DMV here. The humans are just a front.

Anyway. We had to go run plates for this car since Judy decided that she wanted to find this car that Emmett Otterton took. Of course I was still being an asshole because I'm annoyed that she's forcing me to help her with this case I don't really care about, so I made sure to tell my friend at the DMV a joke to make the process even longer.

After we finally get the location of where it is, it's nighttime. I figured she'd just give up since it's in Tundratown and it's night, but no. We went and it's locked, so I told her I'd done my part so she should just give me the carrot pen. She needs a warrant to go in. So what does she do? Throw the pen over the fence. So I go to get it, which is helping her cause because you don't need a warrant if you have probable cause to search and a "shifty animal sneaking in" is probable cause. Great.

Yeah, so it turns out that the otter was in that car and that said car belonged to a guy I was on bad terms with. Excellent news. Apparently I sold the guy an expensive wool rug that was made out of the fur of a skunk's ass. Outside of the dreams, this is hilarious, but in them, it's not great since we have giant polar bear guards taking us to see Mr. Big.

Who knew being a fox was so "all go all the time".

Apr. 26th, 2017


[info]nodarkmagic
[info]valarnet

[info]nodarkmagic
[info]valarnet

 


[info]nodarkmagic
[info]valarnet
Hello. My name is Diana. Someone mentioned this place to me and I thought I'd check it out. I'm not really sure what to say, so I guess I'll go for a bad joke.

What's a band geek's favorite month?

Sorry for any possible offense.

Mar. 12th, 2017


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

 


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet
So addition to my weird dream habits. I saved all the popsicle sticks and sold them as lumber in Little Rodentia. I told them it was redwood. I mean, technically it was red wood, but...

So then Officer good feelings showed up and told me she'd caught me and that what I was doing was illegal, so I showed her all my permits to prove I was perfectly in the right to do what I was doing.

Feb. 23rd, 2017


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
How evil does someone have to be before you can unironically give them the name 'Satan'?

Jan. 29th, 2017


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

 


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet
So after making a big deal about getting this jumbo elephant popsicle for my 'not actually my child' son, I guess we decided the next plan of action was melting down said popsicle and collecting the juice into jars. I don't know what we're going to do with that, but I'm sure there's a reason for it.

I am still pretty sure that this is the stupidest shit I have ever dreamt about. I'm not going to deny that it sounds like something I would do, but without all the pieces, I can't say for sure that it's something I would do. Would have done, really.

Jan. 28th, 2017


[info]fivecenturies
[info]valarnet

[info]fivecenturies
[info]valarnet

 


[info]fivecenturies
[info]valarnet
Oh, wow. You people really are serious. That's cute. I guess there's no point busting in here advising any of you to get therapy for your daddy issues.

Anyway, since this quasi-dream diary Facebook also allows random inquiries, if anyone has recommendations of places that don't suck around here for entertainment that'd be much appreciated. It's been awhile since I've roamed around the childhood land and a lady could use a list from the locals. The more variety, the better. Dining, clubbing, theatre, concerts, lounges - none of that 'get tickets to the bay and watch dolphins mate' because that's not a beautiful experience.

And don't mention Disney. Been there, done that, and I still have bad memories of a sibling tossing her cookies onto my lap after a coaster ride.

Dec. 29th, 2016


[info]margraveroyston
[info]valarnet

[info]margraveroyston
[info]valarnet

 


[info]margraveroyston
[info]valarnet
Considering how often it seems to rain in the dreams, I no longer find myself confused by it being referred to as "the rainy season".

I woke from dreams of having to save my nephew and Hal from being caught out in the rain to being attacked by the few Christmas decorations I actually put up. I think this only solidifies my decision to never decorate for Christmas again.

Nov. 30th, 2016


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
You know when you try to buy new property, and you're usually worried about stuff like the crime rates or the neighbourhood noise or if they get decent reception? Why is it that my primary concern is whether or not I'll be in the line of destruction should Orange County decide to PMS again?

Random dimension tears on the lawn or sea creatures crawling into your beach front property, that should drive prices down, right?

Oct. 30th, 2016


[info]mostpureofall
[info]valarnet

[info]mostpureofall
[info]valarnet

 


[info]mostpureofall
[info]valarnet
I feel so huge.

Any good costume ideas for a pregnant lady like myself?

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
You know how when you watch spy movies, and you're so sure they're full of shit on what these people seem to think happens? It's true. 80% of the time everything goes wrong and those insane stunts get people killed and/or tortured and/or very bad things happen.

Not even flying a military grade helicopter makes up for this bull.

Aug. 5th, 2016


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
Ohhhh, super rad. Took a nap, woke up to a crossbow thanks to the Santiago Vault of Weapons (because most of our crap at the crackshack was broken and don't get me started on the bull whip). I also woke up to a cauterized gash on my side, because we had to fight this Big Bad in some old asylum for the criminally insane and riiiight as I said something for comedic relief in a serious situation, I get sliced.

Go figure, right? It also figures that a siren's whistle with an altered frequency can patch you up in a jiffy.

But the Big Bad was dealt with, no one important that we liked died, Bo went Succubus Queen Crazy until I broke the blood pacts but hey she's sort of fixed and the after party was totes cool. Vex is still living with us, and I'm this close to putting acid in his mascara tube for making me stab my teddybear.

Anyway, real life related, I'm so close to evolving my Haunter into a Gengar, and I've swiped like four gyms in between Mysic/Valor wars because Team Instinct, represent. Don't underestimate the Zapdos team, losers.

Even if Zapdos is the ugliest legendary bird.

Jul. 11th, 2016


[info]elatedorgassy
[info]valarnet

[info]elatedorgassy
[info]valarnet

 


[info]elatedorgassy
[info]valarnet
Oh my Gosh, the beach was like, a giant Pokemon Party all day today! I got so much sun, though! I definitely should have put on more sunblock! It was bizarre seeing all those people playing on their phones, though. Bizarre and good! I kept hearing people joking and laughing with one another, making up cheers for their team colors and whatnot. The rivalry between Blue and Yellow and Red is hilarious!

So, what team is Valarnet on?

Jun. 29th, 2016


[info]plunder
[info]valarnet

[info]plunder
[info]valarnet

 


[info]plunder
[info]valarnet
Christ on a white horse, this Brexit nonsense is pissing all over the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. Did anyone not consider what ramifications this will have, to fuck with the border, when they voted leave like the idiots they are? Decades and decades of violence and tension, and now it's all going to be kicked up again. I remember I used to travel back and forth with no trouble at all - who knows what will happen now, since loads of people live and work on different sides of the border, and cross every day.

I'll just be out scrubbing my deck. And I mean that in the cleanest way possible.

private, secure messages to thalia and luke )

May. 24th, 2016


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
Okay, so.

I'm not going to drink. I really, really want to, but instead I'm going to fill my wine glass with fruit punch and pretend I'm drinking, because I'm at that awkward point in the 'THIS COULDA BEEN YOUR REALITY' show in my sleep where all relationships are failing. Either because someone got killed (RIP, Ciara and Nadia), or because there's that heroic thing of 'this isn't working but I'm talking shit to end this in order to protect you' crap. The latter was me, because bros before hos. Sort of. Can't have nice things because we're gearing up to fight a big baddy, sorry lover boy. fkshfsfkj right in the feels

One thing I am going to boast about, though, is how I took a chainsaw to some ancient fae's sacred tree and cut the bitch up until she handed me over Dyson's love - he gave it up to help Bo in a succubus fight with her mom, and apparently it was a thing you can put in a bottle? Go figure. Try to diss my humanity again, you old hag, I'm gonna mow your place down with a tractor. Vroom, vroom.

But I guess that also explains the chainsaw that woke up to. Naps are dangerous, and no longer sacred, but I have a chainsaw. The possibilities are endless.

Apr. 20th, 2016


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
Suspension of disbelief is needed for about two minutes.

So; does anyone on this crack pot place know or is a brain surgeon who will not ask strange questions beyond 'how much can you pay me'?

Mar. 6th, 2016


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet

 


[info]shadowhack
[info]valarnet
Have you ever woken up and wanted to punch yourself because your dream self just gave Satan the keys to the candy store and then peaced the fuck out on the soon to erupt insanity?

My dream self has just set up the world to burn.

My dream self is an idiot.

Feb. 29th, 2016


[info]assertion
[info]valarnet

[info]assertion
[info]valarnet

 


[info]assertion
[info]valarnet
How many of you consider yourself a specialist in any given field of noteworthy import?

Feb. 24th, 2016


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
90% of the people in Canadian Dreamland are pretentious twats, and the only good thing about being considered the 'weak human sidekick' is that while everyone's head is up their own sphincters, my BS meter is going way off and I'm onto all of those shady jerkholes. Takes a con to know a con. Bitch. and who is this 'novelty whore' swooping in on my bff line can bo and dyson stop making out in front of everyone thanks TRICK I'M ONTO YOU

There was also this sad part about having made heart eyes at this really dorky and having him die? I hope that doesn't set the tone for future relationships, but that was...depressing, or whatever. I finally got something nifty from all this stuff though. A sword. Which is 10x better than getting dream!poisoned by contaminated foot soup.

And, peeps? The next time killer birds that talk too much swarm the area, all you need is a can of hairspray and a lighter. Try it sometime. It's fun.

Feb. 2nd, 2016


[info]room_302
[info]valarnet

[info]room_302
[info]valarnet

 


[info]room_302
[info]valarnet
I want to apologize to everyone who got caught out in the fog during the last week of January. I know some really bad things were out in it. It was a dream thing and it was my fault.

I'm really sorry.

Jan. 26th, 2016


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT, PEEPS: Don't ever go to someone's house and help yourself to their soup. It might have a contaminated human foot in it, and it won't be until after you've helped yourself to a serving that you find out. Minus 100 points when your insides bleed out of your face due to said contamination.

I haven't dreamt about the superduper awesome cure that could potentially save my life, but I did dream about threatening a nurse at needle point and escaping off to the graveyard like some emo kid. My nurse here is actually a murse and he's hot. If I didn't look and feel as gross as I do, I might have touched his butt.

maybe.

a little bit.

okay, a lot a bit.

Jan. 7th, 2016


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
OF COURSE MY DREAMS START OUT WITH ME GETTING ROOFIED. I know roofies, I still feel kinda roofied, what the eff.

Also some underground fightclub about picking sides when it comes to these weirdo supernatural peeps, I don't know. But Bo Dennis, thanks for making sure that creep didn't get weird on me.

There goes my hopes for dreaming about being a mermaid or a unicorn, I guess. Or a Disney Princess. I would have made a boss ass Disney Princess.

Nov. 28th, 2015


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet

 


[info]monsterthong
[info]valarnet
Okay, so.

This is basically like Facebook, right? Cryptic angst-filled posts, random updates about what you found in the grocery store, the occasional article discussion about science, relationship status changes, sometimes cat.gifs? Hopefully cat.gifs? But probably less stalkerish and less filtered selfies to judge.

Whatevz. I'm Kenzi, I run a website called Titillations for all your freaky-deaky needs. Yes, those are used undergarments on there. No, don't ask me where my wares come from. My vendors are private. But the descriptions are 100% true. All transactions are done with complete confidentiality. I only judge a little.

What's your music jam at the moment, internet? I'm On A Boat describes me pretty well right now. If your ears bleed at the dropping of naughty words, don't click.

Nov. 23rd, 2015


[info]legendoflink
[info]valarnet

[info]legendoflink
[info]valarnet

 


[info]legendoflink
[info]valarnet
I've completely gone off the deep end. I've spent more time than what is likely necessary on my games. Between Fallout 4 and Phantom Pain, and the fact my job is at night, I've probably not seen the sun completely in three weeks. I might be turning into a vampire.

Wait, vampires are real here aren't they? Right... uh... sorry, no vampire-face.