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Posts Tagged: 'pamela+swynford+de+beaufort'

Jul. 25th, 2016


[info]notsomundane
[info]valarnet

[info]notsomundane
[info]valarnet

 


[info]notsomundane
[info]valarnet
I wish I'd been able to go to Comic Con this past weekend. I spent all weekend following all the coverage from the panels and watching all the trailers. So many movies and shows I can't wait to see. I was almost tempted to drive to San Diego just to see all the cosplays and everything. Next year I'm gonna try to get tickets again for sure. Maybe Izzy and Clary will come too.

[Pam]
So, I didn't get your number before, but I was wondering if you were still getting that True Blood. I'm out of the stash you gave me and it helped a lot actually.

Jul. 16th, 2016


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

 


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet
I swear to God that if you walk into Victrola with your face down in your phone and I see that stupid ass Pokemon Go game on the screen I will kick you out.

We're not here for you to catch virtual pets. Come and admire the dancers and order a drink. If you're not going to do any of those things then get the fuck out.

Jun. 3rd, 2016


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

 


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet
Anybody need any fucking TruBlood? It's basically synthetic blood that all the vampires in my Dreams are supposed to be drinking. It keeps appearing and I don't have a need for it at the moment.

[Private to Chuck and Raistlin]
Guess who got fucking fangs. FML.

May. 12th, 2016


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

 


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet
If I wanted to raise a teenager I'd pick out my own fucking progeny. I'm not here for Vampire Bill sending his tiny new vampire child to Fangtasia to "hang out" with Eric and I. Fuck that. She was a good Christian child before she was turned, so now she's using this as an excuse to go crazy because that's what vampires do, right? No. I'm not a babysitter.

Thank God I don't have to deal with that in this life.

Apr. 24th, 2016


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

 


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet
I did not expect vampires to explode when you stake them.

Disgusting.

I do have to say that it's interesting how the vampire world basically runs things their own way. The penalty for killing a "higher life form" is death or you can end up like fucking Bill Compton and have to make new progeny. This is going to be fucking hilarious.

Apr. 7th, 2016


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

 


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet
The fuck kinda name is Sookie.

At least my sparkling personality is still intact.

Apr. 4th, 2016


[info]godutch
[info]valarnet

[info]godutch
[info]valarnet

 


[info]godutch
[info]valarnet
This woman is going to be a thorn in my side and I know it. Someone filed an anonymous complaint about the way I dress. The only reason it didn't stick is that I've read the dress code and was able to defend myself. Anonymous my ass. I know exactly who that complaint came from. There's only one person in this office I don't get along with.

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet

 


[info]asnarkpire
[info]valarnet
I have no idea what I'm doing on this fucking thing. My boss suggested that if he's going down in burning flames on this thing then I have to join him. And since I like my job - here I fucking am. Seriously though, what the fuck kind of place is this? Why is everyone talking about their dreams? Was there a batch of LSD released in the water supply? You guys really need to get out and get a fucking life. Oh, and you can find your life at Victrola.

May. 11th, 2014


[info]nicelikethat
[info]valarnet

[info]nicelikethat
[info]valarnet

 


[info]nicelikethat
[info]valarnet
Mother's Day.

Did you call your mother? Is she still alive and kickin'? Are your fingers broken?

Then get on the damn telephone if you haven't, yet. Except for Pryde, sounds like she's got a good excuse.

Mar. 18th, 2014


[info]foundnosunlight
[info]valarnet

[info]foundnosunlight
[info]valarnet

 


[info]foundnosunlight
[info]valarnet
Some bastard stole one of my crutches at the pub last night. I don't care how hammered or how cool you think you are, who does that? He's just lucky I didn't catch him do it. Torn up knee or not, I would have given him a real reason to need it.

Mar. 17th, 2014


[info]devilsluck
[info]valarnet

[info]devilsluck
[info]valarnet

 


[info]devilsluck
[info]valarnet
I keep trying to think of things to say but that never really goes anywhere beyond that. I keep reading on it and people are so honest and open and I don't think I can write like that. I don't see how you guys can just be so out there. Even figuring this out I stared at the screen for a good long hour before any actual typing happened.

[Private filter to Rose]
Do you get the dreams everyone posts about?

[Private filter to Athos]
Thank you.

Mar. 13th, 2014


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet
This is going to sound rather odd and strange but I assure you I have a logical and legitimate reason for it, but I need someone to impregnate me so I can save the world without dying. I'd rather not die. I enjoy living.

You'll have to sign a thing so you can't claim the child, of course.

Feb. 28th, 2014

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
I was in a hotel bar waiting for a client, and this "Bridezillas" show came on. It freaked me the fuck out how much the chick in the promo credits looked like me. Mama doesn't do marriage, and if I did, I wouldn't do any of this frilly patriarchal horseshit. Nightmare time.

Feb. 18th, 2014


[info]savedbythering
[info]valarnet

[info]savedbythering
[info]valarnet

[Filtered Away From Damon Salvatore]


[info]savedbythering
[info]valarnet
More dreams. More stuff about Katherine. Masquerade Ball happened. Katherine had a witch do a spell so no matter what happened to her happened to Elena so Stefan and Damon couldn't kill her. Then Elena got abducted by someone. Katherine was put in the tomb with a spell to keep her in, but she had the moonstone, which we still needed. Bonnie burned a picture of Katherine to make this ash that would incapacitate Katherine so someone could get in and get it, but I didn't want Bonnie to put herself in danger by trying to take down the spell that kept Katherine in the tomb, so I stole some of the ash and went on my own. Suffice to say, I got caught by Katherine and because of my ring she was able to drink from me as much as she wanted and I would just keep coming back.

Woke up around five thirty and considering I'd just dreamt about Elena being kidnapped, I went to check on her and I almost called the police when I saw that she wasn't sleeping. Got even more worried when I couldn't find her at all. Took me awhile to figure out where she'd probably gone and by then I didn't even try to call her cause I knew she wouldn't answer if I was right. You'd think she'd leave a note or something so I wouldn't worry. But then she'd actually have to think of me.

Feb. 15th, 2014


[info]the_hotness
[info]valarnet

[info]the_hotness
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_hotness
[info]valarnet
Hypothetically speaking....Lets say you're going down on your girlfriend and her hypothetical claws pop and she doesn't have her healing factor yet so you panic. Hypothetically. And your a vampire so you turn her so she doesn't like..bleed to death. Hypothetically.

Lets say you need a place to stash a body for a few days.

Hypothetically speaking where would you do that?

And also, hypothetically speaking, is there anyone that wants to hypothetically donate blood, because the hypothetical girlfriend is hypothetically going to be hypothetically really hungry.

Feb. 3rd, 2014


[info]laniidae
[info]valarnet

[info]laniidae
[info]valarnet

 


[info]laniidae
[info]valarnet
Hi, Valarnet.

TW: murder, ota. )

[info]gameslave2
[info]valarnet

[info]gameslave2
[info]valarnet

 


[info]gameslave2
[info]valarnet
I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that anyone who buys this product for themselves or their children is a fucking moron and I hope their heads cave in from all the empty space. I can help with that last part.

Jan. 31st, 2014


[info]sincerely_rf
[info]valarnet

[info]sincerely_rf
[info]valarnet

 


[info]sincerely_rf
[info]valarnet
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not actually very romantic. I know, some of you out there will find that absolutely bizarre, but I assure you it's very true.

This is a very upsetting realization. Is there a way for people to learn romance or is it simply a quality some are born with and others must make due without?

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet
There was an older lady in my class this morning. The look on her face when I took out my satyr sock puppet to discuss the appropriate mythology was bloody hilarious.

I was thinking 'It's a satyr, love, it has to be anatomically accurate.'

Jan. 16th, 2014

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
Ladies with tits, I'm curious about this. Are car seatbelts really this bad for you all, that you'd need this fucking weird thing? And who the hell thought of calling it a Tiddy Bear?

Dec. 10th, 2013

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
Mildly NSFW )

Nov. 26th, 2013


[info]aphrodiseum
[info]valarnet

[info]aphrodiseum
[info]valarnet

 


[info]aphrodiseum
[info]valarnet
Waiting for ages at the airport has shown me that either I'm very good at keeping myself entertained or that I have a sick, dirty mind.

Anyway, here's a fun game! Fill in the blanks: I like my men the way I like my _____, _______ and _______.

Right now my favorite is: I like my men the way I like my books, well-read and bound in leather.

Nov. 17th, 2013


[info]bloodonsnow
[info]valarnet

[info]bloodonsnow
[info]valarnet

 


[info]bloodonsnow
[info]valarnet
I swear to god, if another person's well meaning relative mentions that it's "so sad" that I don't have kids and I'm in my forties, I'm going to drop the illusion and go full High Priestess on them. I don't even know if I can have kids now, thanks, and I haven't exactly had that talk with my husband because - oh hey, I've kind of turned into a demon because of my dreams. I was too busy freaking out about the pins in my head.

I'm going to the next person that I'm barren because of weaponized airborne syphilis and see how they react.

Nov. 13th, 2013


[info]dashdotdash
[info]valarnet

[info]dashdotdash
[info]valarnet

 


[info]dashdotdash
[info]valarnet
How many of us here dream of being vampires? I feel as if I should start some sort of support group. Feel free to answer me privately if you like, I don't want to make anyone here uncomfortable.

I'm Eli Howlett, if we've not met.

Nov. 11th, 2013

[info]spiritmonk
[info]valarnet
[info]spiritmonk
[info]valarnet

 

[info]spiritmonk
[info]valarnet
Okay, look. We live in California, it is not that cold where you need a damn parka. Are you going to climb Everest after you hit up Jamba Juice? Also: just say no to Uggs. Always.

Hi, OC. I'm Ling Bu, and I just moved home. I missed it here.

Oct. 31st, 2013

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
I've got fangs, and I can only go out at night. Tonight is the time of year to make it work for me.

Sep. 22nd, 2013


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet
I found the thing, they wouldn't shut up.

Sep. 18th, 2013


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet
Some nights are easier to sleep than others. Or days at this point, since I'm becoming an night owl, I'm not sure how I stay awake when I'm teaching a class except watching the expressions on their faces when I try to act out some myth or other with sockpuppets and arm flailing probably helps.

Sep. 3rd, 2013

[info]takeeverything
[info]valarnet
[info]takeeverything
[info]valarnet

 

[info]takeeverything
[info]valarnet
Okay, so this 50 Shades of Grey thing. It's just porn for people who haven't had sex in a long time, right? And the movie's just going to be awkward and weird? I mean, I know I want to watch some guy spank some young chick for two hours on a date. Why not just go do that?

Fucking people. Just go get a hooker.

Sep. 2nd, 2013

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
Okay, I have to make it clear I am not asking for myself, but I wanna know. Any of you law enforcement types ever heard of a new street drug called V?

Aug. 11th, 2013


[info]means_family
[info]valarnet

[info]means_family
[info]valarnet

 


[info]means_family
[info]valarnet
Oh, thank God for boobs.

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet
My dreams haven't been my usual dreams for awhile now. They haven't even been my normal dreams either. All I really get are quick glimpses of images and sounds. Voices mostly. I can't tell what the words are saying, but I recognize the language.

In other news, I need more scotch.

Aug. 8th, 2013


[info]thedemonlo
[info]valarnet

[info]thedemonlo
[info]valarnet

 


[info]thedemonlo
[info]valarnet
In case you lot were wondering, I was not affected by the body problems, thank everything ever. I do not need strange bodies stretching out my suits.

In other news, I saw the new Proactiv+ infomercials recently and giggled. You don't even want to know what a celebrity needs to do to get penalized with doing those fuckers. I'll give you a hint: it involves shagging people you shouldn't shag (not necessarily minors, but possibly certain powerful people's significant others) while in the commission of two or three felonies. Hollywood loves those infomercials when they're not in them, but when they get blacklisted until they do one - well.

Guthy-Renker is basically like the modern version of the 1940s Hollywood mafia. Which is a bit sad, really.

Jul. 20th, 2013


[info]blackberrywine
[info]valarnet

[info]blackberrywine
[info]valarnet

 


[info]blackberrywine
[info]valarnet
So, random question, internet. If you dreamed - y'know, onea those dreams? - about people who're here that you've seen on the boards, would you tell 'em? Or would you find that way too creepy?

Edit: Anyone on here named Stefan Salvatore? I dreamed you lived at a boardinghouse I had, only I was much older. Elena, dreamed of you too. Girls named Bonnie and Meredith too.

Jul. 15th, 2013

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

Somewhat NSFW in comments XD

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
So, I'm actually kind of excited. I have some clients on this board, so figured I should make the announcement. I got a loan to start building a dungeon space of my own. No more stupid-ass hotel rooms. Clients will meet me on my own terms, and no more stupid noise complaints, either.

I'm happy. It's good for my career.

Jul. 11th, 2013

[info]thestraightman
[info]valarnet
[info]thestraightman
[info]valarnet

 

[info]thestraightman
[info]valarnet
Remember how people said 'it could always be worse' to you when you were a kid, ostensibly to get you to cheer up?

Paula Deen is allegedly going to do nude modeling for a site called PureMature.com. Somewhere, somehow, that woman is going to be naked and on the internet.

It just got worse.

Jul. 6th, 2013

[info]dragonmother
[info]valarnet
[info]dragonmother
[info]valarnet

 

[info]dragonmother
[info]valarnet
I guess this is my coming out party as a shapeshifter. Please don't shoot at the large dragon as it flies overhead - that's me, en route to Vegas to be a stupid hero. Despite what you might think, that dragon really does have feelings and would be really put out if you broke her nails.

Jun. 29th, 2013


[info]laniidae
[info]valarnet

[info]laniidae
[info]valarnet

 


[info]laniidae
[info]valarnet
Trigger warning for noncon, implied rape. )

I don't know if I can go to work today, I keep throwing up.

Jun. 17th, 2013


[info]2ndthenardier
[info]valarnet

[info]2ndthenardier
[info]valarnet

 


[info]2ndthenardier
[info]valarnet
Funny NSFW saying behind the cut )

Jun. 16th, 2013

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
I'm getting really tired of going to cheap-ass hotels to do my work, but at the same time, I can't just waltz into a bank and ask for a loan to build a sex dungeon. And I'm not exactly willing to ask my regulars for a loan or something. I don't like being beholden.

I don't know. Anybody got a lottery ticket?

Jun. 15th, 2013

[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet
[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet

filtered; Pam Swynford de Beaufort

[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet
When are you free?

[info]magius
[info]valarnet

[info]magius
[info]valarnet

 


[info]magius
[info]valarnet
Cut for triggers involving violence and torture, and death )

Jun. 12th, 2013

[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet
[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet

 

[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet
Sometimes I wonder if I'm too old for the club scene.

Jun. 11th, 2013


[info]wild_luck
[info]valarnet

[info]wild_luck
[info]valarnet

 


[info]wild_luck
[info]valarnet
When I say you've had enough, you'd have enough an' I'm kickin' your arse out. Be grateful I felt like calling a cab.

How have I not found this network before?

Jun. 9th, 2013

[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet
[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet

 

[info]sucksatyahtzee
[info]valarnet
Well, hello there, everyone.

Jun. 6th, 2013


[info]fallsinplace
[info]valarnet

[info]fallsinplace
[info]valarnet

Filtered from non-puncturable Star Trek folks


[info]fallsinplace
[info]valarnet
Alright, Valar people, if you had the time and money to go anywhere in the world for a week, where would you go?

I can speak most Romance Languages, Japanese, some Mandarin, and Klingon, so there's that to consider, too.

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_warden
[info]valarnet
Has anyone ever dreamed, and then woken up, and wonder what the hell was wrong with them? I mean...that was it? All that suffering and all that pain and that's what I choose to do? Romantic, perhaps, but also nutters.

I suppose I earned it, and Maker only knows what awaited me on the other side of that Eluvian...

In other news, I’m rather enjoying playing with my staff. It’s long, and it’s very hard, and you should see what comes out of it!

Jun. 3rd, 2013


[info]magius
[info]valarnet

[info]magius
[info]valarnet

 


[info]magius
[info]valarnet
I do believe the best I can say of my dreamself is that he's a genius. Incredibly dumb, selfish, annoying, and whiny, but a genius.

Can I disown my dreamself now? Despite the fascination of learning magic, I am quite over dreaming of being an idiot emotionally and having impulse control issues. It's starting to affect me while wa-

May. 31st, 2013

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet

 

[info]walmrtsweatsuit
[info]valarnet
So, I'm interested as to why I dreamt I was a fucking madam last night. Never been to London, and I quit hooking when I was twenty. Anybody know anything about dreams? Any of that airy-fairy crap about how this means I should try new things or I have a new person soon to be entering my life? I'm bored.

May. 30th, 2013


[info]crackingwise
[info]valarnet

[info]crackingwise
[info]valarnet

 


[info]crackingwise
[info]valarnet
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
But I say neither of those people have watched
the video for Prancercise. )

Oh, yes. Prancercise will suffice.