Dear Asshole at today's work party:
Yes, that is a
one-year coin from AA. That does not mean it's fucking funny to swap your bloody Mary for my virgin Mary. I'd about finished the Goddamn thing before I realized there was vodka in it.
It wasn't easy to put down the last of it, either. That doesn't count against my sober date, either, because I didn't drink it on purpose, so screw you.
Enjoy your trip to HR - Love, the old bitch in the corner office
Flemeth, Thea, any of you girls, you know anybody who could maybe make a necklace out of this thing? It might be nice to always have it nearby.
Especially if the dreams keep getting worse.