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Posts Tagged: 'malcolm+reynolds'

Sep. 30th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Long night tonight, with a bottle of Whiskey. Usually don't share them with anyone, now I'm talkin' about it all over this network. Not really sure why, maybe felt the need to say somethin', and figured this is the only thing to be sayin' anything to...

Sep. 26th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
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[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Had some girl come into the bar the other night lookin' for a 'sex on the beach' when I told her I wasn't interested she scoffed and said it's a drink. What the fuck sort of drink is that?

Sep. 12th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Ribs are healin' up nicely, in fact, they're healin' up nice enough I'm gonna try getting back to work.

Aug. 26th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
I might be the dumbest son of a bitch to have ever lived in Orange County.

And I ain't exactly jokin' either.

[info]imperator
[info]valarnet

[info]imperator
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[info]imperator
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Someone needs to tell my dreamself that driving across the salt wastes is a shitty, suicidal plan.

Aug. 21st, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Well this place is just getting to be a bit of a hassle. The anger is just palpable and putting me on edge anytime I go out, might end up punching the next person that gets in my faces trying to start some damned argument.

Is it still illegal to shoot someone if it's in defense of my sanity? Whatever, I don't know why so many panties are in a bunch. I've done my due-diligence in making sure my life is still as fit as ever, my mind too. I suggest whiskey, cigars, and not giving a shit as a remedy.

Jul. 30th, 2015


[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet

[info]huniepop
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Locked from Wash.


[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet
Okay, guys, the love fairy needs advice.

So I'm not good at not coming on strong - how do you do that? Since I've never actually liked someone long enough to not just sort of sneak out the morning after. I either have FWB situations or one night stands. This whole having a crush thing is kind of the worst since I just look at him and giggle like an idiot or kiss him.

Basically: HOW DO I ACT NORMAL WITHOUT JUMPING HIM?

Jul. 29th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
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[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Sad news about that girl, doin' what she could to save us all.

It's bad when we're sendin' the young to die for a cause. Not sure I always understand it, idea of sacrifice, but suppose it's not my place to.

Still, any of those grievin' over that loss, come in for a visit and I'll set you a night's rounds completely free of charge. Not to get you in, no, but to get your mind off of things. In honor of that girl and what she's doing.

Jul. 19th, 2015


[info]greyhoundsix
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[info]greyhoundsix
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[info]greyhoundsix
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Is anyone in need of any medical help? The storm might be over, but I'm sure 911 and hospitals are backed up, so I'm volunteering my services to anyone who needs them today. I've gone by some of the shelters to check on them so far this morning.

Jul. 18th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
As per usual, anyone looking to keep from getting swallowed up by the nastiness going on outside, my bar's open for shelter should it become necessary. It's getting to be a tad bit more a problem than it had been recently, and if it's the end of the world, best be getting some drinks in before it hits.

Jul. 1st, 2015


[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet

[info]huniepop
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[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet
In my dreams not only do I help this loser guy bang every hot chick in his town (who all know each other), but I also help him score with an alien, my boss who is Venus - yes, that Venus - and me.

Yes, me.

I am so done with you, weirdass stupid dreams.

Jun. 30th, 2015


[info]twili
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[info]twili
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[info]twili
[info]valarnet
Hello, crazy forum. Gotta say, it's nice to read about other people flipping the fuck out over a killer spider instead of just being on the outside and seeing its ugly, hairy self plastered on the front of supermarket tabloids. Since I'm here now, tell me what the weirdest shit you've encountered or seen is. So I know what I'm getting into.

My name's Midna. I work at a club in Anaheim, I think some of you have come by before, haven't you? Don't be shy.

By the way, Zelda, Road Kill from the Bandidos says 'yo' to you and the tall drink of water who is missing a sock.

Jun. 29th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Spent the hot weekend workin' on the car, but it's been well worth it. Ol' girl's ready to run again, and sounds beautiful.

Now I need to spend the rest o' the week tryin' to get some of the sales back up at the bar. Maybe less time at the bonds. Not sure.

Still, good busy weekend, leadin' into another busy week. Likin' this. Now if we could avoid zombie, demon things and giant spiders, maybe business can get back to normal.

May. 31st, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
I'm getting that mighty strong sense that some of us might need to be arming up with the results of life going on as it currently is. Still, maybe I'm being a bit premature, but I might need to be dusting off a few of the old girls.

May. 26th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
This whole... situation, whatever anyone's calling it, has got to stop. That's the third shipment of Whiskey that's been turned over in the past week. I ain't paying for it, but you ever tell a biker to cool down on the refills because you don't have enough stock? Mighty terrifying.

May. 19th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
I don't know what this shit is that's going on right now, some rather messed up stuff, the sort that makes a man's skin crawl. But what I do know is it ain't feelin' right, or safe out there for all of anyone. We got weapons, food, and shelter at the bar should anyone feel it in their right mind to hunker down for a bit until the authorities get their heads out their asses for once and do the things that're needin' to be done.

That's for anyone who needs a place to stay, by the way. Who don't feel safe in their own homes.

May. 18th, 2015


[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet

[info]huniepop
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[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet
Hey, so there's all sorts of freaky shit happening and it sucks out loud so I'm just going to sit here and vape until I fall asleep because while I have wings and powers and shit, it's not for self-defense or anything and I'm tiny. Like, I need a stepstool to get stuff at the grocery store off of the highest shelf.

Apr. 29th, 2015


[info]lovesaves
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[info]lovesaves
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[info]lovesaves
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One of these days I'm going to learn not to say anything to my dad about being bored. I just killed my phone battery playing Trivia Crack with him.

I never knew how much random stuff I'd learned over the years until now.

[info]wemustletgo
[info]valarnet

[info]wemustletgo
[info]valarnet

Filtered against Helen Magnus


[info]wemustletgo
[info]valarnet
I don't care that it's Wednesday, but when I'm done teaching this evening I'm going to a bar and I'm getting fucking smashed.

I fire today from existence. And I haven't even started work yet.

[info]savioring
[info]valarnet

[info]savioring
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[info]savioring
[info]valarnet
My neighbour just got a dog.

It's a puppy. I'm sure it's the cutest thing on the planet but oh god does it yap. Every morning this week. At three in the morning. I work early enough as it is. Jeez.

I'm gonna lose my mind!

Apr. 28th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
I ain't never been one to get too hung up on these social media things, but anyone out there know if it's at all possible to use this thing to order a pizza? That'd be helpful, phone's out, internet's not... yet.

Apr. 24th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Since arrivin' to this here fair city, I've nearly been mugged, nearly car-jacked, and flashed by a hobo on at least two occasions. Mugger met with ill fate, car jacker learned a bit about momentum and 'nertia. The hobos I let go upon their merry ways, seems you've got to get yourself a bit of entertainment now and then when you're livin' behind a Home Depot.

Now I ain't a bettin' man, but if I were I'd take a bet on my running into some misfortunes; for, as you see, I arrived at my bar today to find two junkies passed out on my office floor, with a filing cabinet being rummaged through; I don't keep nothin' too valuable there so I doubt the only thing of value they found was the bottle of Jack I've got kept up in there. And as it's been emptied, I reckon it's probably the reason for their state.

When they came to, I persuaded them to talk a bit about what they were hoping to find. And come to find out, my ex wife of a former precarious situation had hired them to get some information for her regarding my business. Should I know her, which rightfully I probably do not, I imagine she's doing a bang up job of trying to get herself a little nest egg in case her current junkie husband--one of the fine, young, and upstanding citizens I spoke to--begins to falter in his rather profitable business of Meth dealing.

But today was a good day, I had myself a rather delightful burger and I didn't see any man bits.

Apr. 6th, 2015


[info]double_knot
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[info]double_knot
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[info]double_knot
[info]valarnet
I think I have to say that as much as being in another body is the strangest thing that's ever happened to me at least I'm not having any dreams right now.

So, yes, I'm currently occupying the body of one of my female friends. As if it couldn't be any more awkward to be in a strange body in the first place. I've also discovered that putting on a bra may be just as complicated as taking one off when I'm a regular guy. I think I've almost got it figured out now.

And I can't complain about having two legs right now, but I feel really bad for Rose because learning how to put a prosthesis on can be incredibly confusing.

Also, I will not be at Mellarky until this clears up, so let me know if you needed to request any kind of baked goods and I'd be happy to meet up with you somewhere else. My brothers would never understand if they saw me now.

Mar. 30th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Just brought a man in who skipped town on a dinghy. I'm not kiddin' ya, tried to skip town on a stolen dinghy, took off into the night waters, and I have no idea where he was goin', cause he was heading straight and didn't seem too keen on turnin' any specific direction.

All because he was in jail for a couple of days for pepper sprayin' some guy in some game store for not having the game he wanted. Well he was supposed to be in jail, but was able to wriggle free of the cop that had him, and took off. Warrant out for his arrest, I found him.

Still, has to be one of the odder cases.

Mar. 28th, 2015


[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet

[info]huniepop
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[info]huniepop
[info]valarnet
My cat likes red bean ice cream. What the actual fuck.

(I'm bored, please help.)

Mar. 21st, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
Bit of a follow up to my last momentary discussion: I have managed to give myself a computer, smartphone thing, and one of them tablets. They all connect, or so the guy in the shirt told me at the place. He spoke a ton about a bunch of jargon I had absolutely no idea about, so I'm still pretty sure I only know how to play a bit of solitaire.

I'm definitely going to need a bit of help on this bit.

Mar. 14th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
So one o' my bookkeepers suggested I get myself a phone and tablet to better keep track of sales, clients, projects, whatever sorts of things you keep track of are.

I'm a bit old fashioned and keep things in unorganized piles on my desk at the bar, seems to work well enough, but she's convinced it could be better. So, I write today to ask everyone here, what the hell is a tablet, and what do I do with it? I've got a nice enough phone I figure, it makes calls, but she thinks it's gotta be something far better than that.

Mar. 13th, 2015


[info]valentine_heart
[info]valarnet

[info]valentine_heart
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[info]valentine_heart
[info]valarnet
So I get up and in the space of twenty minutes I break a nail, discover I'm out of milk, can't find my keys and missed a meeting with a supplier which I swear wasn't in my diary yesterday.

Can I just scrap this day and start over?

Feb. 9th, 2015


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet

 


[info]take_my_land
[info]valarnet
So took to this here device, thing, and put 'er to use and now I'm not real clear on what I'm meant to be doin'. I guess maybe sharing pictures of cats and makin' some political statements or somethin', but that's not really my strongest suit. Not a learned enough fella to make any sort o' statements like that.

So, instead, I'll take a quick crack at this social media thing and introduce myself. Name's Malcolm Reynolds, I own the Serenity bar down by the docks on Copper Lane. I also run Browncoat Bonds, bail bonds outfit, 'n my more tech savvy customers at the bar suggested this'd be a good place to advertise. So anyone need some bailin', or need to be shown the way back to their pretty cells, just give me a holler and I'll come rollin' by. And if ya need a good drink in a place that don't care too much what ya' smell like, come down to Serenity.

And don't send me pictures of cats. If ya' do, it best be damn cute.

Jun. 13th, 2014


[info]the_mighty
[info]valarnet

[info]the_mighty
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[info]the_mighty
[info]valarnet
I love my hammer.

Jun. 7th, 2014

[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet
[info]aimtomisbehave
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[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet
What the hell's in the water here, that I had dreams so real I thought I was there?

Jun. 4th, 2014

[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet
[info]aimtomisbehave
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[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet
So I wasn't hallucinating the other day, right? I mean, my dog came inside covered in snow, not some other stuff? He seems fine, but I had a mind to make sure.

Jun. 1st, 2014

[info]oughtausemagic
[info]valarnet
[info]oughtausemagic
[info]valarnet

 

[info]oughtausemagic
[info]valarnet
I may or may not have gotten five of the dogs at work to carry me around sled dog style. Hey, they needed the exercise and I'm a lazybutt!

May. 24th, 2014


[info]kissthegirl_
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[info]kissthegirl_
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[info]kissthegirl_
[info]valarnet
I'll admit, I feel left out cause I haven't had any of these dreams that everyone keeps talking about. I wanna know what kind of cool things happen to dream me, but so far it's just been the usual crazy dreams that make no sense and are usually alcohol or late night food induced. When do I get to join the dream world?

May. 18th, 2014

[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet
[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet

 

[info]aimtomisbehave
[info]valarnet
Well, hi there. I'm Mal Reynolds. Just got invited onto this thing, and figured I could use it for professional outreach. I think that's what they call it.

I'm new here, just moved up from Arizona. I'm a PI, or I will be when I get licensed here. I don't do divorce, but if you need a good PI for anything else, I should in theory be your guy. It's just me and my dog Oscar, so my time is my own.

Oct. 28th, 2012

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet

 

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
Was there a memo on going crazy that I didn't happen to get? All the folk around a fella start to lose it, and he begins to wonder if he's being set up for one of those television shows.

Oct. 10th, 2012

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet

 

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
When did grown adults start dressing up for Halloween? I'm not judging, I genuinely feel like I missed a memo somewhere.

Oct. 3rd, 2012


[info]the_ambassador
[info]valarnet

[info]the_ambassador
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[info]the_ambassador
[info]valarnet
I think I've seen it all. Someone named an entire town after Jayne.

Oct. 2nd, 2012


[info]triednotto
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[info]triednotto
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[info]triednotto
[info]valarnet
I'm way too excited about Halloween for it to be this far off.

And I know this is a long shot, but does anyone know a Mal or Dom Cobb?

Sep. 16th, 2012

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
[info]ex_misbehave909
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[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
Cobb. Is there a fellow by the name of Cobb on here?

Sep. 11th, 2012

[info]ivelookedworse
[info]valarnet
[info]ivelookedworse
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[info]ivelookedworse
[info]valarnet
Teaching is a lot different from running a business. I think this is more me.

Aug. 21st, 2012


[info]thebuckyclause
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[info]thebuckyclause
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[info]thebuckyclause
[info]valarnet
Every time I think I've gotten the best work stories ever and nothing's gonna top them, well...

I'm pretty sure we can all guess where this is going. And let me tell you, if HIPPA wasn't a thing, I'd be recording calls right now. I mean this is going above and beyond the lady's lip ring caught on her boyfriend's zipper thing on my last day in Brooklyn this winter. With that one, well, at least you could see how it happened and it wasn't people being dumbshits.

Last night though, Well. three little words actually sum that up.

Amateur. Bull. Fighting.

...Well, make that four.

Drunk. Amateur. Bull. Fighting.

Fi...forget it I'm not numbering them anymore.

Naked. Drunk. Amateur. Bull.Fighting.

In a pasture of dairy cows. As in female ones.

The only reason we got called was somebody eletroshocked themselves on some poor farmer's fence. Adding insult to injury, it's late at night, we're trying to get the guy settled on the stretched and into the unit to go back with us, and well, cow pasture of all things.

Partner goes down in a...uh...slick, I have to grab the poor asshole to keep him from sliding off and joining him, his end of the stretcher jerked so much, and, as he gets up, covered in manure, the cows start getting pissed at us for being there, and one of the braver ones starts running at us, mooing threateningly.

A moo the other cows decided to take up as they practically chased us out of the pasture back to the unit, where our patient starts demanding his 'cape' in really badly accented grade school textbook Spanish.


We're professionals. We're not supposed to laugh, but oh dear god, last night was close.


In other news, the random dream fairy has left me a present which greeted me all nicely pressed and hanging in my closet when I got in after my shift last night. I now own a world war two service uniform WITH MY NAME and it fits perfectly. I am so confused right now. When does reality set back in?

[info]purpleman
[info]valarnet

[info]purpleman
[info]valarnet

In the vein of Queen's post...


[info]purpleman
[info]valarnet
But completely not related because it'd be a disaster if it was both of us alone...

I need a running buddy. Someone who is loud enough I'll be able to hear them if they're on the wrong side of my head and we're really going, and preferably not allergic to dogs since I'm in the process of waiting for that paperwork to go through and there'll be a service dog who'll want to come along by next spring probably.


Someone versed in other stuff besides bows and guns would be amazing too. Diversify my strengths a little, build up other areas, you know? Anybody interested in helping a guy out?

Aug. 14th, 2012


[info]the_ambassador
[info]valarnet

[info]the_ambassador
[info]valarnet

Serenity Crew


[info]the_ambassador
[info]valarnet
Some of you may not know me. My name's Inara. I believe we have something in common, at least in our dreams. Is it too strange to ask for some kind of get together so I can meet everyone formally?

Jul. 19th, 2012

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet

 

[info]ex_misbehave909
[info]valarnet
You know, every time a fella says something like 'now I've seen it all,' life comes along to make him look like the damn fool he is. Word to the wise? Don't jinx yourselves. Just don't. You'll be thanking your stars when some other idiot has to corral an ostrich on the freeway at three in the morning.