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Posts Tagged: 'dan+smith'

Jan. 9th, 2019


[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet

[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet

 


[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet
The amount of times D has used me as his freaking alibi is starting to really piss me off. Last night I dreamed he dragged me to the ballet with him. Sometime between the end of the... what is it called, a play? A dance? Anyway, right after the thing, before they all did their little bow at the end, the prima donna or whatever she's called disappeared.

I know D was responsible for this. I don't know how since he was sitting next to me the whole damn time, but I feel it in my gut. She was in his damn shop just days before, and then poof, gone. There's no way that's a coincidence.

Nov. 16th, 2018


[info]bidabble
[info]valarnet

[info]bidabble
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[info]bidabble
[info]valarnet
The mornings are turning super cold, and it's really starting to feel like winter. I can't wait until the Christmas music starts. Does that make me an odd duck?

Also, pies. So many pies! This upcoming week is Thanksgiving, and we'll be cooking pies nonstop to fill all the orders at BB1 and BB2. If anyone wants to order pies, now's the time! We'll have plenty for sale, too, without reservations!

Nov. 2nd, 2018


[info]elatedorgassy
[info]valarnet

[info]elatedorgassy
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[info]elatedorgassy
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Everything went from Halloween to Christmas overnight!

Oct. 31st, 2018


[info]topoftheboard
[info]valarnet

[info]topoftheboard
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[info]topoftheboard
[info]valarnet
Sending out a warning to any trick-or-treaters in the Irvine area. If you see a... well... monster-like truck, please let me know. My pickup seems to be... alive. DO NOT get in front of it; someone apparently put teeth decals on the grill yesterday and today those fangs are very real. It already ate through my neighbor's mailbox on its way down the street.

Again, if you see this truck, do not approach and contact me directly. Thank you.

[info]taidyed
[info]valarnet

[info]taidyed
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[info]taidyed
[info]valarnet
Just a reminder to all of the parents and kids going out candy-hunting tonight: Don’t go trick-or-treating with any vampires – they can be a real pain in the neck!

Oct. 10th, 2018


[info]bluejames
[info]valarnet

[info]bluejames
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[info]bluejames
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Today I was doing some volunteer work at the shelter before heading to the show. Some little kid came up to me and he was maybe 5 or so. He was telling me to look under there. I said under where and they just laughed. You said underwear.... Good one, kiddo. I really do love kids. I forgot about those little jokes.

[info]anotherpath
[info]valarnet

[info]anotherpath
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[info]anotherpath
[info]valarnet
According the my students, I should be advertising my classes on sites like this. Yet it seems people are more interested in posting about dreams. Which leaves the question if that's more this site or my students just putting one over me.

Oct. 8th, 2018


[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet

[info]under_arrest
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[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet
Well, Chris has shown up in my dreams. It was kind of strange to see my aunt and uncle again. It's been over a year since the accident. I never really got along with either one of them, but it was kind of nice to see them again.

I say kind of, because they decided to drop Chris off with me with absolutely no warning whatsoever and fucked off back to New York. Still traumatized, still mute, and me in the middle of a big case.

So my dream self did what was clearly the most logical thing, and dropped him off with the serial killing, drug dealing, horse race fixing, ballerina stealing, sweets-loving freak I've been investigating for the last year to babysit him.

Normally I'm down with dream me's decisions, but I'm really starting to think it's time he gets some actual friends.

Oct. 7th, 2018


[info]faithandscience
[info]valarnet

[info]faithandscience
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[info]faithandscience
[info]valarnet
It has been a little over a month since I have moved here. Everyone I met so far has been beyond welcoming.

But these dreams. Do they always mirror your own life so closely?

Sep. 30th, 2018


[info]taidyed
[info]valarnet

[info]taidyed
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[info]taidyed
[info]valarnet
Some people say I eat so much fruit that I must be going bananas, while others think I'm already plum crazy. I respond to all of those people by giving them the raspberry.

Sep. 3rd, 2018


[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet

[info]under_arrest
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[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet
I have a lot of questions about the dream I had last night. Like why I let D pretend I was his boyfriend why, when deciding to research how to defend against vampires, my first choice was to crack open a Playgirl magazine. And why Playgirl actually had answers. And what the hell is D And why my dreams decided I needed to have said magazine and a photo of D's grandpa. Who, coincidentally, looks exactly like D, except wearing normal clothes. It's downright creepy. That's definitely going in the bottom of the sock drawer.

Jul. 2nd, 2018


[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet

[info]under_arrest
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[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet
Finally getting back to work today. Granted I'm stuck manning the desks instead of doing something actually useful, but it sure is better than binging that Lethal Weapons TV show some more.

I just really wish that my dreams hadn't decided to welcome me back to work with a dream where D tricked me into rigging a horse race. I don't know why I'm surprised, or how I didn't see this coming. Of course a human trafficking, drug dealing serial killer wouldn't be above fixing gambling matches. Still. Pisses me off. Especially after I put a bet on the horse in question.

Anyway, D blatantly breaking the law in front of my face or not, I don't think there's a goddamn thing on earth that could ruin my good mood today.

Jun. 22nd, 2018


[info]fly_anything
[info]valarnet

[info]fly_anything
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[info]fly_anything
[info]valarnet
So this is Orange County huh? Seems nice.

Any recommendations? (Other than joining this net and Disneyland since they seem to be everybody's suggestion)

Poe Dameron by the way, commercial pilot at your service.

Jun. 21st, 2018


[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet

[info]under_arrest
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[info]under_arrest
[info]valarnet
Lying on the couch for days at a time is the most frustrating thing I've ever had to do. I'm pretty sure getting dream shot is worse than getting actually shot. Not that I'd know.

At least those same dreams gave my Gattolotto. It's nice to have something to talk to when Chris and Alex aren't around.

May. 27th, 2018


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
I haven't talked a whole lot about my Dreams here, mainly because they are a fucking mess and make little to no sense and the more I had the less sense they made. One thing I took away is that I was murdered a whopping three different times! Three! For some reason the third time apparently was the charm. But that wasn't even the craziest thing the Dreams apparently did.

Like, for example, did all of you fine people know that because elementary schools are often used as polling places for elections, the people who are actually in charge of the country is the Department of Education and that said Department of Education is actually being controlled by the Japanese who are using the schools in order to brainwash children into being sleeper agents, or something...I'm not entirely sure.

Not even kidding.

My Dreams are like some kind of fever-fueled conspiracy theory.

Apr. 19th, 2018


[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet

[info]livmoore
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[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet
Now I know why cavemen had to figure out a way to cover up. Nudity and wild animals do not go well together.

Mar. 19th, 2018


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
You know, as a bartender I hear some pretty crazy things from people once they’ve had a few libations. Yesterday evening a guy insisted that Daylight Savings Time was a government conspiracy designed to bolster Big Electric and as such he was going to refuse to observe it. He doesn’t believe in time zones either, apparently. Not entirely sure how that’s working out for him, but it was pretty funny to listen to.

Mar. 10th, 2018


[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet

[info]livmoore
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[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet
My dream love life is still a mess. The only boyfriend that I haven't killed hasn't died has now forgotten me. Not only that but he has forgotten who he is completely. I knew it was coming before hand. I'm not sure if that made it worse or better.

Would you rather know the love of your life was going to forget you and have one last emotional night together? Or have it be a surprise and not have to deal with the 'goodbye'?

Mar. 7th, 2018


[info]5thareasheriff
[info]valarnet

[info]5thareasheriff
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[info]5thareasheriff
[info]valarnet
I'm new to the area and I'm wondering, what are some good clubs or bars in the area? Actually, they don't even have to be good ones. I'll even take bad ones or dive bars.

Feb. 28th, 2018


[info]ivegotaplan
[info]valarnet

[info]ivegotaplan
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[info]ivegotaplan
[info]valarnet
Good morning, Valarnet!

Earth Day technically isn't until April, but I figured I'd get an early start! Does anyone have any large plastic buckets or jugs they're planning on tossing in the recycling bin that they don't mind tossing my way instead?

Dec. 4th, 2017


[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet

[info]livmoore
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[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet
It’s the best time of the year! The festive ornaments, the glittering lights, the smell of freshly baked Christmas cookies. How could anyone not be jolly?

Oct. 18th, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
I know that this time of year pumpkin spice becomes the in thing, but there's got to be a limit. There is no way my bar is trendy enough to serve pumpkin spice alcohol.

Oct. 2nd, 2017


[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet

[info]livmoore
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[info]livmoore
[info]valarnet
It only took two months of being back here for the dreams to come back. Turns out dream!me is dating a criminal. She has quite the variety in her taste in men although the zombie thing limits the options a bit. Oh well I guess. At least the latest crazy has subsided.

Sep. 11th, 2017


[info]cleaner
[info]valarnet

[info]cleaner
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[info]cleaner
[info]valarnet
John Jesus H. Christ on a motherfucking bike, this place is fucked. If I could stop switching places with the dude I share a dreamspace with, that'd be cool. It's awkward as shit. Think of the most awkward thing, tell me what it is, and I will tell you that switching places with someone randomly is even more awkward. Fucker didn't even switch with me to get me to the front of the line at the breakfast place for a damn Eggywich, I ended up in the back of the bar which, actually, tequila at 9:00 am sounds pretty good right now.

There's also this cultist named Andrei Ulmeyda and his fanatic followers ain't above killing each other to get all 12 action figures of him (which appeared this morning in my bedroom). Who the hell would kill someone for an action of figure of some fucker with a fro dressed like an astronaut? Nevermind that he literally exploded in front of me and his blood killed everyone in the vicinity.

At least I got a ring that shoots fire. Shit.

Jul. 20th, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
The more I have these pieces of crap Dreams, the less makes sense. Apparently I'm already dead?! And I was killed off goddamn screen no less before any of what I'm currently dreaming even started!

And no, before anyone decides to ask, I'm not a goddamn vampire. I'm not sucking blood and I'm not eating brains. I'm not a ghost either. I'm just a personality, a personality tied to a decrepit old man.

The fact that I woke up and my magnum was finally on my kitchen table is small comfort to this goddamn bombshell.

Jul. 10th, 2017


[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet

[info]nick_wilde
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[info]nick_wilde
[info]valarnet
All right. So it turns out Mr. Big is an arctic shrew? There's that. Annnnd we almost died, but his daughter showed up and got upset since it was her wedding and he'd promised not to ice anyone on her wedding. Turns out Carrots saved her life or something, so the skunk rug incident was forgotten and we were invited to the wedding.

Mr. Big told us that in order to find out what happened to the otter, we had to go find the driver from that night. Manchas. He's in the Rainforest District. So I guess that answers one question and makes even more questions.

Jul. 4th, 2017


[info]cleaner
[info]valarnet

[info]cleaner
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[info]cleaner
[info]valarnet
Not sure what to think about you all. Ran into an old friend who gave me about as much info as I can handle (and that was some trippy shit) but I'm not really a message board kind of individual. Might be more a ghost around here but I thought I'd introduce myself anyway.

I'm Garcian. I clean crime scenes. You might of seen some mofo in a hazmat suit on a lame-ass reality TV show, what, like 'Dirty Jobs' or some shit? Yeah, it's dirty. Scraping blood and bodily fluids off the walls tends to be. Maybe I'll see some of you after you blow yourselves to bits with your damn fireworks, but here's a tip: don't do that.

Jun. 22nd, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
There were vials of blood on my coffee table. I think it's blood anyway. Actually, it looks a lot like the "thin blood" from my Dreams.

Christ, these "gifts" are fucking weird.

May. 1st, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

 


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
So, that old ass TV I got a few weeks ago? Yeah, well this morning there was a weird ring sitting on top of it, like it's always been there.

Apr. 11th, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
There is a random old mid-century style television in my apartment that I did not buy. Considering it looks like the same TV we use to switch between personas and I've never heard of the manufacturer "ISZK", I'm assuming this is one of those Dream crossover things.

I would have preferred to get my gun.

Apr. 5th, 2017


[info]mentori
[info]valarnet

[info]mentori
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[info]mentori
[info]valarnet
Is this not the most beautiful work of art you have ever seen? My wanted poster, with such a clear and well-drawn depiction of me. Fuck the Pazzi.

50,000 florins (florins were gold coins) is about 7.5 million dollars, in case it is what you were wondering.

This is not the only work of art I have received, no. My family was quite close with a man named Leonardo da Vinci, perhaps he is familiar to you. We purchased many original paintings from him when he was younger and these paintings - once carried home with me in a box - are now in my living room. To think I was also there, when he painted The Mona Lisa.

If these paintings were actual people, I would make dolce amore to them all the day and night.

Now if I could just dream of not killing people for about five minutes, I would be appreciative. Perhaps this will happen. I have settled in Constantinople, looking for keys, and have met a Venetian woman who has bewitched me and owns a bookshop. Searching for keys and decoding maps seems much better than taking out Borgia scum, especially when the owner of the bookshop is a redhead.

Apr. 4th, 2017


[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet

[info]thatguyseye
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[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet
[Filtered to Friends]
(ooc: feel free to assume if you've at least talked to Rocket in the past)

I'm planning a trip to either NV or AZ.

I need a decent gun range and seeing how uptight Cali is about guns I'm heading out of state. Maybe for a couple of days. Maybe for a weekend. Just something to cure this trigger finger I got.

So who wants to come?

Mar. 21st, 2017


[info]sheee_it
[info]valarnet

[info]sheee_it
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[info]sheee_it
[info]valarnet
Okay, okay. Since apparently D says this place isn't entirely full of weirdos (only partially), I guess I'm giving it a shot.

Hi. I'm Peter. I just got into town. Not really sure what else I'm supposed to stay here, but I know it ain't some shit about long walks on the beach. So I guess I'll leave it where it is.

Mar. 19th, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
Jesus Christ. I need to put some kind of sign on the door to my bar stating something along the lines of "If your sick, stay the fuck home"

You'd think this would be common sense, right??

Feb. 7th, 2017


[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet

[info]thatguyseye
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[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet
Now we're talking with these dreams. I'm a raccoon, that much is a given, and you know what? I've come to accept that somehow my psyche thought a raccoon was the best way for me to work through this PTSD shit. But whatever. Last night was a doozy. Me and the talking tree, whose name is Groot, by the way, become bounty hunters.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you believe that shit? And guess what?? We're in fucking space! And there are jails in space, and we got a spaceship, and like the badass that I am in real life I break us out of jails whenever we get caught.

It's great. Keep this up, OC water. These dreams are almost as good as going to the movies.

[info]mentori
[info]valarnet

[info]mentori
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[info]mentori
[info]valarnet
It is very odd, to go to sleep and then see this...story playing out that you are watching. My brother Petruccio was very sickly as a child, and one day he asked me to collect eagle feathers for him - I was not certain why, but I did it anyway if he promised to return to bed. Then he was killed, deemed an accomplice to my father who was falsely tried of treason Petruccio was stabbed here, he-- but I kept the feathers and continued to collect them in honor of his memory. I do not know why he wanted them - all I know is that feathers were often used by Assassins to signal that they have been successful in taking out their targets, but that was much in the past. Not so much in my time.

To my surprise, the collection of eagle feathers was by my bed this morning. So was my lute, though it was been years since I have played. Hundreds of years, if these 'dreams' are what people say they really are.

Feb. 6th, 2017


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
So these Dreams you guys keep talking about, are they super realistic, but at the same time pretty goddamn ludicrous? Like shooting things and they explode into clouds of blood dust ludicrous?

Jan. 26th, 2017


[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet

[info]thatguyseye
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[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet
I keep seeing people mentioning dreams all up on this network. Like it's some trendy thing to do or whatever. Did anyone stop to think that maybe they're putting something in our water, huh, to make us have these fucked up dreams. Like, ain't it weird? I think it's weird. Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks this shit is for the birds.

So last night, as long as we're all in a sharing mood, I had a dream that wasn't as fucked as my first one, but still... whatever. I don't even know where my brain is coming up with this stuff. I met a tree. A living tree. Now before you get all smart with me and say "all trees are alive", this tree could walk and it had arms. And it could talk. Well, it wasn't that good with talking because all it kept saying was "I am Groot." But like, I understood it? He said those three words over and over, but it translated as long ass sentences in my head.

I'm supposed to go to work in a few, but all I can think about is this damned talking tree. All I gotta say is there better not be any bomb threats today otherwise we're all up shit creek because my headspace ain't in it.

Jan. 5th, 2017


[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet

[info]thatguyseye
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[info]thatguyseye
[info]valarnet
What's up OC?

Rocco's back in town. Trying to get caught up on shit that I missed. Introducing myself to folks that don't know me. Trying to find my best friend that doesn't answer his text messages anymore apparently, but it's cool. It's cool. We'll catch up eventually and then he'll get it.

Haha! Anyway, I'm sure I'll see some of you cretins around.

[info]zenwhoberis
[info]valarnet

[info]zenwhoberis
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[info]zenwhoberis
[info]valarnet
Hello, I'm Gamora. I'm new to this network, though it is obvious that your reputation precedes you. That being a general 'you,' obviously.

I have arrived from Hawaii, where the beaches are much better. But I enjoy the Mexican influence here much more. I work in both security and interior design - did you know that jewel tones and boho accents look to dominate in 2017?

I do not know what else to say.

Dec. 14th, 2016


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
Last night this mountain man looking dude came into my bar and told me he was Yukon Cornelius. You know, like in that stop-motion Christmas special? Weird dude. Totally committed to the part, though. Also, it's still friggin' snowing.

Weird shit like this didn't start until I found this site. Someone wanna explain what's going on?

Dec. 5th, 2016


[info]itachi
[info]valarnet

[info]itachi
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[info]itachi
[info]valarnet
I'd gone out earlier to do a little bit of Christmas shopping, and on my way from one store to another I ran into The Grinch. At first I thought my eyes were, well, I thought something was wrong with them again but no he was spreading Christmas cheer. I suppose his heart had grown three sizes already.

Yeah, I would be put into a nuthouse for saying something like this outside of the OC.

Nov. 26th, 2016


[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet

[info]collateralshot
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[info]collateralshot
[info]valarnet
A piece of paper with this site's web address was pinned to the bulletin board in my bar. Didn't have a name of a site or anything, just the address. So I thought it may be some kind of Deep Web sort of thing. Little disappointed to see it's just a forum.

That being said though, what the hell kind of forum is this?