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Posts Tagged: 'combeferre'

May. 26th, 2013

[info]hislonelysoul
[info]valarnet
[info]hislonelysoul
[info]valarnet

 

[info]hislonelysoul
[info]valarnet
I don't know if this musket is a prop from Courfeyrac's collection that somehow migrated into my closet, or if it's something else entirely, but it's staying very firmly in the back of my closet.

May. 22nd, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[Accidentally left unlocked]


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
I am a bit embarrassed to be asking this on the valarnet of all places, particularly when there are much larger, more important issues to hand right now, but I can NOT keep myself from doing so anyway. Discovering myself, I will be honest and admit to it being myself, there is no good in pretending otherwise, in love with a good friend, a love that cannot possibly be returned due to sexual orientation of at least one of the two potential parties here, has left me confused as to what I ought to be doing next.

Another of our friends suggests that I come out and say it, and take the chance at happiness, but again, I do not think that this friend is like me, and so would never understand where I am coming from, it would cause unhappiness if we tried, and I am relatively content in our friendship the way it is. I only...

The last few weeks, I have considered whether or not we might become something more and whether it is worth attempting such a thing. I did not even know that I could love until so recently, so I am especially confused to find myself in this position. The thing is that, should there be the slightest chance this becomes more, it would be the most amazing thing that has come into my life.

On the flip side, it is patently unfair to ask someone I care for whether they would deal with ME, particularly when they are doubtlessly of a different mindset and preference set than I am, so of course I should not do it.

I am so used to being decisive in all things that I am not sure what's to be done now, but some advice on either side would be incredibly appreciated.

May. 17th, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

 


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
I find it somewhat pathetic and horrifying that I need to state these rules for visiting our home, but unless you happen to be Combeferre, and only Combeferre, because he has more than the sense God gave a mosquito, I would like to set a few guidelines out regarding other people's animals and visits.

TW: animal death )

May. 14th, 2013


[info]notachicken
[info]valarnet

[info]notachicken
[info]valarnet

 


[info]notachicken
[info]valarnet
So... It's been a long time coming that I tell the world this. It's hard to accept it to start, even harder to ask others to accept it. A few of you know me personally and already know, a few of you I might have met and spoken to at one point. But I guess it's time for me to do this.

I am a female to male trans* man. I've been in transition for about a 13 months. That surgery I had? It was to remove my chest. I am on hormones and just trying to pass as well as I can. I know some of you might get uncomfortable, and I kind of expect that. But to those that accept me for this, and still choose to use the correct pronouns and name... Then thank you. So very much.

It makes my life easier and makes things calm. Hell, not like I'm telling anyone my legal name anyway.

[info]dansemacabre
[info]valarnet

[info]dansemacabre
[info]valarnet

[Locked from Murphy MacManus]


[info]dansemacabre
[info]valarnet
How do you know if you're gay? I mean, not all the way, this person still likes girls, but he might have fooled around with a guy and really liked it.

It's for a friend.

May. 13th, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[Locked to Valarnet]


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
The decision that I discussed needing to make the other day has been madeRead more... )

May. 9th, 2013


[info]the_centre
[info]valarnet

[info]the_centre
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_centre
[info]valarnet
So. Today, during fencing, things got hard again. I felt like, well, like a friend has described it, the sensation of being somewhere entirely else, with someone entirely else. It was not incredibly different, really. The equipment is more secure now, but beyond that, I could have sworn that I was back in a completely differentsalle, and not here, and now. Read more... )

So, I present my new and improved hair )
Insanely sexy, right?

Apr. 25th, 2013


[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet

[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet

 


[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet
As the summer approaches, please consider donating any gently used seasonal clothing you no longer wear that isn't too far out of style to a shelter near you. The same goes for shoes. Please also consider donating toiletry items--toothbrushes, combs, brushes, etc.--as there's always a need for those. We live in a country that, as a nation, is viewed as one of the richest, but we must never forget that even in this "land of plenty," there are those who, for a myriad of reasons which often go ignored because it is unpleasant to think that the United States suffers from such things, do not have many of the things so many of us take for granted.

Apr. 19th, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

 


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
I've come here for advice again, Valarnet, after having done something terrible, immature and insulting the other day and having no idea how to begin to make up for it. Essentially, I acted in anger and dishonored my friends, all of the sacrifices they have made in this world, and the last one from the dreams, dishonored our cause, and everything that matters most in it. I acted in anger, throwing out a very sacred phrase, alluding to a very sacred principle sarcastically. It is a cause that I, and that those who mean the most to me take very seriously.

I was upset and had given into anger after trying to explain myself in a private commentary and keeping my cool through the whole exchange, but that is no excuse for what I've done and how I may have hurt my friends in doing so. I not only used the phrase in a fight, but used them in front of someone who is not one of us and does not understand, giving her ammunition, if she seeks it, against our cause, that she might use.

This dishonor, this gross and terrible disrespect, and failure before the things that I hold dear, before my brothers, cannot stand, but I've no idea how to start the reparations process. How does one apologize for rash words used in anger that should have taken a much cooler head and hand to form, particularly when you've managed it for the entirety of the rest of the comment and post? How does one go about even starting to try, besides begging forgiveness and hoping they are not found lacking?

I would welcome suggestions, yes.

Apr. 17th, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

Well, I'm Back, He Said ((Title would be blocked from non punctured Tolkiens))


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
It does take severe shock to wake you up from some things, doesn't it? I've spent the last couple of days in 1832 land again, and I can't say that I minded it. I find that I think clearer when I'm in that mindset, that I write better, that I am closer to who I am supposed to be. I get that it is hardly good for me to be in the mindset of my last life all the time and badly affects some processes, but in others, it is weirdly...comforting, I guess is the right way to put it. I have such a hard time feeling safe or secure as I am right now. I think that knowing who I was and what I could do then have been a big help in making me feel that way when right now, today, I have no clue what I'm doing. tldr, no cut for characters )

In other news, I missed the internship I had applied for, largely due to distance and relocation issues, according to the letter, but I suspect to better candidates if we're going to be honest about it. There were a lot of us. I can't feel bad. I'm disappointed but it was sort of a snowball's chance anyway, and besides that, a sister organization will be opening up on this coast in the next few months, and they'll be taking hires. My info has been passed along, and I've sent out a resume, and several of my pieces to be looked over, and considered. It's not the DC branch, by any means, but it is still a chance to tell the truth and to let others see it, and to help in my own way. We'll see if that goes through or not, but here's to hoping for it anyway.

Hope seems so strange as a concept just right now, doesn't it?

Apr. 1st, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

I want to die.


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
cut for triggery discussion of pain creating suicidal feels )

Mar. 28th, 2013


[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet

[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet

Txt to Enjolras


[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet
>> I dreamed of an attack on the barricade.
>> Bahorel was killed by a bayonet.
>> Courfeyrac and Gavroche would have been killed as well
>> had it not been for Marius, of all people.

>> He managed to chase away the remaining troops by threatening to set fire to a powder keg.
>> I must admit, I had not expected that he would end up showing so much dedication.

Mar. 2nd, 2013


[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet

[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet

[Locked to Les Amis + Marius]


[info]to_be_free
[info]valarnet
Last night I dreamt of Lamarque's funeral. When the revolution began...such energy. It was electric; all of Paris was alive with the heartbeat of revolution.

We disarmed a National Guard post. Somehow, I ended up with the most weaponry: a National Guard's gun and two pistols. Enjolras had a double-barrelled hunting gun; Jehan had some old cavalry musket; Bahorel had a rifle; Feuilly had a sword; and Courfeyrac had drawn his sword-cane.

Feb. 27th, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

Today, I am a criminal. ( TW: Rabies in comments)


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
I have no idea why I am admitting this on a public forum, where it will probably come back to bite me in the ass later, but I'm already composing a piece for one of the blogs anyway, so hell with it, the valarnet can know these personal details about my life.

Today, I stole something from a job. As in, I went out to the site I was investigating, did my poking around, and interviewing and snapped some secret photos, then I found something I needed to take out of there, slid it up my coat sleeve, and booked it out of there.

With any luck, they're never gonna notice, even when I blow the lid on the bastards this week.

worth it? worth it. )

...Holy shit what do I do with it?

Feb. 22nd, 2013

[info]no24601
[info]valarnet
[info]no24601
[info]valarnet

 

[info]no24601
[info]valarnet
Cosette, come home straight away. Bring your friends if you must.

No one should be out in this madness.

Feb. 12th, 2013


[info]the_centre
[info]valarnet

[info]the_centre
[info]valarnet

 


[info]the_centre
[info]valarnet
Hey, someone else here mentioned the pope so I don't have to be the first and, I don't know, offend people here or anything that way when I say good riddance and that I laughed at first when I heard the news, but then that sense of relief, extreme fucking relief took over. It would probably be considered sacrilegious to drop by and light a candle and fall to my knees in front of an altar thanking God for what just happened, but I'm thinking I'll probably do it after class.

It's probably too soon to hope that the church manages to actually become a part of the real world through losing one pontiff , but I can hope and pray that they get someone normal, someone sane, and someone willing to look out for all of us and not just the chosen ones in this time anyway.

I mean, I finally got over the conditioning that I could have God and salvation, or I could have my life on the terms I want to live it in when I tried, really tried, coming back last month and got an answer when it turned out, yeah, God meant for the things that make me happy to be part of my life, but that didn't mean I'm exactly welcome at most parishes or masses either.


Maybe the pope stepping down is one of those hints that the people running all these things might finally take notice, that that chance is finally here, and things are opening up again. I finally got okay with both parts of who I am at last, and maybe, this time, the humans who run things can actually do the same. I mean, there might be some kid like me who doesn't have to deal with what I did as a teenager in the future.

I know, it's a long shot, it's still the Catholic Church and everything, but I don't know, it makes me hope that better things are coming.

Jan. 29th, 2013


[info]besticoulddo
[info]valarnet

[info]besticoulddo
[info]valarnet

 


[info]besticoulddo
[info]valarnet
This weekend? Best party ever.

Last night? One of the worst nights ever.

Whichever of you people felt the need to TELL Oliver about me trying to leave the ranch? Thanks for that. Thank you ever so fucking much for giving Mr. Do As I Say But Don't Do As I Do that level of ammo. He was already technically sort of pissed but not talking about it that we had to get a cab back from the party since I was supposed to be DD and nobody bothered to say that, and this just? Kinda pushed him over, I guess.

I got this awesome screamy lecture that was at least more entertaining than the kind I get from most people because of the looks on his face as he was shouting fuckword after fuckword at me. Seriously. It was sort of entertaining. I didn't know there were so many conjugations of it really.

I'm not totally sure why last night was all that bad. It's not the kind of thing I haven't heard a hundred times before or anything like that. It wasn't really anything new getting tossed out there about being ungratful, selfish, irresponsible, whatever, and how I really need to "get your fucking shit together, I fucking mean it or you're gonna end up seriously fucked when I'm arrested for your bullshit."

I told him that I'm eighteen and he's technically not supposed to BE the one responsible for any of it anymore and he was only legally responsible for about seven weeks, which I spent with total supervision making him a friendship noose at which point he stopped speaking to me for the night, and hasn't yet resumed that today.

It's weird that I'm regretting this. Two months ago he was a stranger, so I'm not sure why I happen to give a shit about anything he's said now, you know?

I'm confused.

Jan. 17th, 2013


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet

Locked to Les Amis


[info]solo_patria
[info]valarnet
We need to talk about what I just did, and my example none of you should follow.

...If I don't die, I'm officially putting myself on probation. It was probably unnecessary to go as far as I did in the blog yesterday. I stand by it but it wasn't necessary, and I owe all of you an apology for going too extreme and far too soon, and for putting everyone who commented in potential legal danger. It's the internet but we shouldn't get too comfortable all the same, a lesson I've still got to learn.

I think that most of them have written this off as the fever having eaten my brain or something along those lines, which pains me to have it reduced to this, but without that, I've blown the cover we are going to need and soon.

I'm sorry I put you, and put the cause in danger, and I'm sorry I enjoyed it and the traffic, and probably kept Joly awake laughing when it really wasn't that amusing. I know that isn't quite enough just now, but I will do my best to make it better, if you'll all still stand with me.

Jan. 10th, 2013

[info]grand_r
[info]valarnet
[info]grand_r
[info]valarnet

 

[info]grand_r
[info]valarnet
Quarantine? You have got to be kidding me.