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Posts Tagged: 'artie+nielson'

Aug. 13th, 2012

[info]ivelookedworse
[info]valarnet
[info]ivelookedworse
[info]valarnet

 

[info]ivelookedworse
[info]valarnet
First day of class and I was late for class. Great way to start. That was horrible.

Jul. 28th, 2012

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet

 

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
It's official: my insurance does not cover alien invasions.

Jul. 23rd, 2012

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet

 

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
I'm sorry to say the Warehouse is going to be closed until further notice due to quake damage.

Now I need to find something to do with this mysterious 'free time'.

Jul. 18th, 2012

[info]theburglarwho
[info]valarnet
[info]theburglarwho
[info]valarnet

 

[info]theburglarwho
[info]valarnet
Maybe the internet actually has a use after all. Come on free marketing, show me what you can do.

Barnegat Books is having a sale this weekend. We stock rare and used books. [Address] Plenty of comfy chairs for browsing. No coffee on tap, but there's a Starbucks next door. You're welcome to bring a cup over and steal their WiFi while you look around the shop.

Jun. 26th, 2012


[info]filthinbeauty
[info]valarnet

[info]filthinbeauty
[info]valarnet

 


[info]filthinbeauty
[info]valarnet
  • Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men. (So married men change their underwear twice a day?)

  • The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C. (I don't even want to know.)

  • Slugs have 4 noses. (Makes up for the lack of everything else, I suppose.)

  • You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV. (Who cares?)

  • The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year. (How did they count that?)

  • The bubbles in Guinness beer sink to the bottom - no one knows why. (If you stare at a pint of Guiness long enough to notice that, you're doing it wrong.)


Who said the internet was only for porn?

Jun. 22nd, 2012


[info]a_spectre
[info]valarnet

[info]a_spectre
[info]valarnet

 


[info]a_spectre
[info]valarnet
Object: Monochrome painting (white on white) $35,000.

Options of display:

1. On an easel in the white room
2. On the wall in the living-room
3. Behind glass embedded in the bathroom floor

They never sell those with recommendations. They never ask what the buyer's home looks like even though they should to find out if the piece they're selling will fit in with the rest of the d├ęcor.

Jun. 21st, 2012

[info]notmysupervisor
[info]valarnet
[info]notmysupervisor
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[info]notmysupervisor
[info]valarnet
My boss needs to hire more hot guys. Can't a girl get a little sausage with her spreadsheets, or whatever I'm supposed to be doing here?

Jun. 11th, 2012

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet

 

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
Huh. Is it already time for the biennial uptick in popularity for sports people really don't care about? It seems like Vancouver was just yesterday.

Jun. 8th, 2012


[info]ever_vigilant
[info]valarnet

[info]ever_vigilant
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[info]ever_vigilant
[info]valarnet
The problem with running a gun shop is that there are so many convenient weapons sitting around.

You think customer service is a hard job for people who work at places like Wal-mart? THOSE guys don't have access to 100 deadly weapons within reach of their hands.

I could literally put my hand under the counter and find something to do you harm with. There have been so many times that I wanted to.

Guy in my shop acting like a spoiled 10 year old, the laws say you don't get a gun unless you fill out the forms. Those are the laws. I didn't make them, but I sure as hell will uphold them. I work 2 blocks from any number of people who will arrest my ass if I don't.

If you're screaming about needing a gun this badly, you probably don't deserve one anyway.

Jun. 7th, 2012

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
[info]notbenign
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[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
"The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russell

Jun. 5th, 2012


[info]walkinmansroad
[info]valarnet

[info]walkinmansroad
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[info]walkinmansroad
[info]valarnet
I do so wish this works out.

They say it works because my eyes are empty, they can't see themselves within them.

I take it as a compliment.

Jun. 4th, 2012


[info]slayersavior
[info]valarnet

[info]slayersavior
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[info]slayersavior
[info]valarnet
I got exactly two hours of sleep last night and I have a final exam in an hour. I blame you entirely, bad dreams.

Jun. 2nd, 2012

[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
[info]notbenign
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[info]notbenign
[info]valarnet
Since this concept is unclear to some of us, let me spell it out: when a sign says "Do Not Touch, Please Ask For Assistance", it means you do not touch it. Not with your fingers, not with your toes, not with your tongue, nothing. You keep all body parts away from whatever you're eyeing and ask one of the shopkeepers to help you.

That's what they're there for, people.